PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Johnny Depp (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mr Squirell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The crowd seem to be enjoying Squirell's choice of entrance music: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy-Revolting Cocks. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Depp
vs
Squirell

179 cm
19
176 lbs
6 - 1 - 0

184 cm
28
180 lbs
1 - 6 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Very strong

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent MT
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Johnny Depp!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Mr Squirell!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Jack Bonds and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Squirell moves into the clinch.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Squirell lands an elbow just above Depp 's eye.
Depp throws a punch but it's blocked by Squirell.
Squirell working Depp over with knees to the body.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Squirell as Depp tries to tie him up.
Depp takes a knee to the side of the body.
Depp is breathing heavily.
Squirell lands with a light punch inside.
Squirell using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.

Squirell breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Depp misses with an uppercut
and Squirell counters with a two punch combo.
Depp avoids a punch combination nicely.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Depp throws a shot from downtown. Squirell moves away and avoids it.
Depp definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
A combination from Squirell does no damage.
Depp tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Squirell was well out of range. Poor timing from Depp.
Squirell thinks about the counter body kick.
Depp waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Squirell.

Squirell clinches up with Depp and pushes him back against the cage.
Depp taking a breather.
Depp lands a right hand that snaps the head of Squirell backwards.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Depp throws a punch but it's blocked by Squirell.
Squirell scores with a hook to the body.
Depp is trying to maintain a safe position but Squirell gets an underhook and turns Depp into the cage.
Depp's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Squirell unloads a knee to the mid-section.

Squirell pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.

Squirell has closed the distance and engaged Depp in a clinch.
Squirell lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Depp.

Squirell breaks the clinch.

Squirell clinches.
Squirell landing knees to the body.
Squirell working Depp over with knees to the body.
Squirell working Depp over with knees to the body.
Squirell lands an uppercut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Squirell using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Squirell scores with a shoulder strike.
Squirell lands an elbow inside.
Squirell working Depp over with knees to the body.
Squirell scores a nice knee to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Squirell digs a right hand into Depp's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Depp's gas tank.

Squirell escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Squirell clinches up against the cage.
Squirell creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Depp's defenses.
Squirell putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Depp in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.

Squirell manages to break the clinch.
Squirell plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!

Depp is rocked!
Squirell lands a right hook to the body.
Oh Depp is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!

Squirell moves into the clinch successfully.
Squirell connects with a knee to the head.

Squirell manages to break the clinch.

Depp gets tackled into the cage by Squirell. Squirell maintains the clinch.
Squirell lands an elbow inside that Depp shrugs off.
Squirell creates a bit of space for himself and rocks Depp with a big uppercut! Depp tries to clinch up but Squirell pushes him back against the cage and lands another monster strike that crumples Depp to the mat! Depp covers up and Squirell unloads with more strikes until the referee steps in to end the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:41 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Mr Squirell!
A relieved looking Mr Squirell thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.