PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hank Armstrong (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pencil comes to the cage accompanied by Full Retard. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Pencil
vs
Armstrong

185 cm
33
193 lbs
28 - 17 - 0

185 cm
28
200 lbs
14 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Sun-Tzu

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 17 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Hank Armstrong!
The judges for this bout are Chris Saunders, Micheangelo Fripello and Ryoma Takatsuka.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Pencil closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
I was talking to Pencil's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Armstrong is trying to break the clinch but Pencil has him pressed against the cage.
Pencil lands a left hand.
Pencil blocking some punches.
Armstrong wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Armstrong can't break the clinch.
Armstrong wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Pencil softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.

Pencil manages to break the clinch.
Armstrong throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Pencil stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Armstrong steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Pencil.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Armstrong! But no joy.
Armstrong ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Armstrong rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Pencil moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
The fighters circling - Armstrong throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
A nice right hand lands inside from Pencil.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Armstrong wants to get back to striking at distance but Pencil won't allow it.
Armstrong is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Armstrong wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Pencil lands with a light punch inside.
Armstrong takes a shot to the head.
Armstrong wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Pencil lands a hook to the side of the head.
Pencil scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Pencil lands with a light punch inside.
A frustrated look appears on Armstrong's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Armstrong has had enough of the clinch but Pencil keeps him there for the moment.
Armstrong tries to break free but Pencil pushes him back against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Pencil lands a knee to the body.
Armstrong wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

Pencil breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

Pencil has Armstrong up against the cage in a clinch.
Pencil scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Armstrong takes an elbow to the forehead.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
A frustrated look appears on Armstrong's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Armstrong working hard to break the clinch.
Pencil with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Pencil prevents a body shot from Armstrong.
Pencil softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Pencil blocks a body shot from Armstrong.
Pencil working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong can't break the clinch.
A short right from Pencil on the inside.
Pencil lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Pencil scores with a shot to the side of Armstrong's head.

Armstrong is rocked!
Armstrong wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Pencil has him pressed against the cage.
Armstrong has had enough of the clinch but Pencil keeps him there for the moment.
Armstrong tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Pencil's elbow.
Pencil prevents a body shot from Armstrong.
Armstrong tries to work over Pencil's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Pencil keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Armstrong's efforts to push away.
Armstrong tries to circle away but Pencil has him pinned against the cage.
Pencil makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Armstrong has a couple of punches blocked by Pencil.
Armstrong is looking to break free of the clinch but Pencil has double underhooks.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong misses with a short punch on the inside.
Pencil blocks a punch to the side of the head.

Pencil breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
A right-left combo lands from Armstrong.
Armstrong throws a series of punches but Pencil avoids them all with ease.
Pencil seem to be loading up, looking for a big counter.

Pencil clinches with his opponent.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Armstrong is trying to break free.
Pencil lands a left hand.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
A knee to the head by Pencil.

It looks like Hank Armstrong has been cut.
Pencil keeps control of Armstrong as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Armstrong wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Armstrong looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Pencil lands with a short head shot on the inside.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Wooden Pencil dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Hank Armstrong's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

A jab from Pencil misses.
Armstrong dips down and scores with a jab to the body.

Pencil darts in and clinches Armstrong up against the cage.
Armstrong can't break the clinch.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Armstrong has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
A body shot lands from Pencil.
Armstrong is looking to break free of the clinch but Pencil has double underhooks.
Pencil lands with a short shot to the head.
Armstrong misses with a shot to the kidneys.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Pencil presses Armstrong against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Armstrong is trying to break free.
Armstrong takes a shot to the head.
A short right from Pencil on the inside.
Armstrong is trying to break the clinch but Pencil has him pressed against the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pencil makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Armstrong is still on wobbly legs! Can Pencil finish him?
Armstrong tries to break the clinch but Pencil is controlling the position.
Armstrong seems to have recovered his senses.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
Wooden Pencil has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Armstrong wants to break free but Pencil has control.
Armstrong looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Armstrong struggles to land a body shot inside as Pencil controls his hands.
Pencil gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Armstrong is trying to break free.
Armstrong is trying to break the clinch but Pencil is controlling him.

Pencil manages to break the clinch.
Pencil avoids a lazy jab quite easily.

Pencil clinches.
Armstrong is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
A frustrated look appears on Armstrong's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Armstrong has a couple of punches blocked by Pencil.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pencil blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Pencil lands a right hand.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Pencil.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
Armstrong tries to break the clinch but Pencil is controlling the position.
Armstrong tries to work over Pencil's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Pencil is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Armstrong can do to turn this around?
Armstrong wants to break free but Pencil has control.
Armstrong wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Pencil lands a left hand that snaps the head of Armstrong backwards.
Armstrong tries a body shot but Pencil blocks it.
Pencil working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Pencil lands with a short shot to the head.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Pencil lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Armstrong backwards.
Armstrong has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Pencil keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Armstrong's efforts to push away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong has had enough of the clinch but Pencil keeps him there for the moment.
Armstrong tries to break the clinch but Pencil is controlling the position.
A frustrated look appears on Armstrong's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Pencil keeps control of Armstrong as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Pencil blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Pencil gets through Armstrong's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Armstrong wants to break free but Pencil has control.
A nice left hand lands by Pencil.
Armstrong misses with a hook to the ribs.
Pencil lands a right hand that snaps the head of Armstrong backwards.
Armstrong is trying to break the clinch but Pencil has him pressed against the cage.
Pencil scores with a shot to the side of Armstrong's head.
Armstrong tries to circle away but Pencil has him pinned against the cage.
Armstrong is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
A frustrated look appears on Armstrong's face as he tries to break the clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong is looking to break free of the clinch but Pencil has double underhooks.
Pencil lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

Pencil breaks from the clinch.

Pencil closes the distance and pushes Armstrong back into the cage.
Pencil prevents a body shot from Armstrong.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
Armstrong swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Armstrong wants to break free but Pencil has control.
Armstrong swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Pencil has Armstrong pressed against the cage, preventing Armstrong from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Armstrong misses with a hook to the ribs.
Armstrong throws a punch but it's blocked by Pencil.
Armstrong takes an elbow to the forehead.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Armstrong throws a head punch that misses.
Pencil prevents Armstrong from breaking the clinch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Wooden Pencil dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Hank Armstrong's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Pencil pushes Armstrong up against the cage in a clinch.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
A frustrated look appears on Armstrong's face as he tries to break the clinch.

Pencil's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Pencil misses with a body kick.

Pencil closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Armstrong to the mat! Armstrong manages to get full guard.
Armstrong wants to get back to his feet but he's too absorbed in his own little project and Pencil manages to pass to side control.

Pencil postures up and decides to stand up, from the half guard. The ref calls for Armstrong to stand up.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Armstrong misses with the combination.

Pencil moves into range and clinches up with Armstrong.
Armstrong fails to land with a short punch on the inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Armstrong has a couple of punches blocked by Pencil.
Pencil lands with a short shot to the head.
Pencil prevents Armstrong from breaking the clinch.
Pencil working Armstrong over with knees to the body.

Pencil manages to break the clinch.
Pencil slips a jab and a cross from Armstrong.
Pencil thinks about countering with a body kick.
Armstrong dodges the punch combination from Pencil.
Pencil goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Pencil uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Armstrong.
Pencil drops down looking for a counter takedown but Armstrong sprawls and moves away.

Pencil closes the distance and clinches.
Pencil has Armstrong pressed against the cage, preventing Armstrong from circling away and getting back to striking at range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Armstrong can't break the clinch.
Pencil lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Armstrong working hard to break the clinch.
Armstrong swings wildly with an uppercut but Pencil uses good head movement to avoid it.
Wooden Pencil is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Armstrong working aggressively here.

Pencil's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Pencil avoids a punch combination nicely.

Pencil gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Pencil unloads a knee to the mid-section. Armstrong lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Armstrong can't break the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Armstrong tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Pencil's elbow.
Armstrong is looking to break free of the clinch but Pencil has double underhooks.
Hank Armstrong has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Armstrong wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Pencil lands a hook that snaps the head of Armstrong backwards.
Armstrong looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Armstrong has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Armstrong is trying to push Pencil away but Pencil has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
A shot in the inside from Pencil.

Pencil breaks the clinch.
Armstrong takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Armstrong throws a hook to the side of Pencil's head but Pencil sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

Pencil takes the fight into the clinch.
Pencil blocks a couple of punches on the inside.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pencil lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Pencil keeps control of Armstrong as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
Armstrong is trying to force a seperation but Pencil has the dominant position.
Armstrong looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Pencil pushes Armstrong back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Armstrong is trying to break the clinch but Pencil is controlling him.
Pencil lands with a short shot to the head.
Armstrong tries to break the clinch but Pencil is controlling the position.
Armstrong wants to break free but Pencil has control.
Armstrong working aggressively here.
A head punch on the inside from Armstrong fails to land.
Armstrong wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Armstrong wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

And that's the end of the fight!
Wooden Pencil showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Pencil, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 30:27
Judge Micheangelo Fripello scores the fight 30:27
Judge Ryoma Takatsuka scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Wooden Pencil!
Wooden Pencil made sure to mention his sponsor, Spartan Nutrition in his post fight interview.