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Ascension EPL FINAL PBP Commentary


Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Eddie Clark and No For Gay Jesus. Jesus has chosen Havana as his entrance music. Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?

186 cm
36
170 lbs
35 - 14 - 0
183 cm
28
171 lbs
12 - 3 - 0
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Reaper Combatwear
Museum of Monsters & Madmen

Hellbent
Bullet Proof System



Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 35 wins, 14 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of London, Eddie Clark!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 wins, 3 losses and 0 draws, fighting out of Los Angeles, No For Gay Jesus!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.



The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A looping hook to the body misses from Jesus. Clark does a little dance to reset his feet.
Jesus throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Jesus throws a quick inside leg kick.
Jesus throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Clark takes a jab right on the kisser.
Jesus has been working on his striking defense in training and it's paying off as Clark is landing a low percentage of strikes.
A big right from Jesus misses.
Jesus throws a big shot that misses.
Jesus buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Jesus throws a hook but Clark blocks it.
Jesus takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Jesus throws a leg kick
enabling Clark to counter with a crisp jab.
Jesus lands a nice shot to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Jesus lands a body shot.
Jesus throws the left hand but Clark avoids the punch easily.
Clark throws a hook but Jesus avoids it easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clark showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Jesus.
Jesus throws a head kick that misses.
A little feinted left hand from Clark on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Good leg kick by Jesus there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Jesus throws a body punch but Clark moves out of range.
Clark is looking to counter punch.
Jesus throws a sloppy body shot
and Clark counters with a straight right hand.
Jesus displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Clark throws out the jab.
Jesus lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Clark scores with a jab.
Jesus throws a solid leg kick but Clark takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Jesus.
Clark lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.

It looks like No For Gay Jesus has been cut.
Jesus swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Jesus throws a jab but it's blocked by Clark.
Clark is looking to counter punch.
Jesus cracks Clark with a right hand to the side of the head.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Clark throws a lazy right hand but Jesus sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A little jabbing left from Jesus on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jesus fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.

A momentary lapse in concentration from Clark enables Jesus to shoot in and score with a neat double leg. Clark manages to secure a closed guard as the fighters hit the mat.
Jesus throws a big right hand that misses.
Jesus with a flurry of punches that miss.
Jesus with a nice head shot there.
Clark working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Jesus.
Clark manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Jesus manages to get himself to full guard.

Jesus is trying to control the position but Clark postures up.
Jesus is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Jesus is trying to control the position from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Jesus looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Clark passes into half guard.
Jesus trying to control but Clark postures up.

Jesus looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Jesus is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Clark pulls his head out easily.
Clark content to control rather than advance.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Clark is trying to control the action in half guard but Jesus is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.

Jesus looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Jesus is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

Jesus is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Clark pulls his head out easily.

The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Jesus looking for submissions off his back.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

No For Gay Jesus dominated that round.
The cut man is working on No For Gay Jesus's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.


Clark stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Jesus.
Clark on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Clark misses with a hook. Jesus ducked under it nicely.
Clark moves forwards but Jesus connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Jesus throws a lazy right hand but Clark sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Jesus scores with a punch to the head.
Jesus tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Jesus looks to land a left hand but Clark moved out of range nicely.
Clark swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
No For Gay Jesus seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jesus slips a jab from Clark.
Clark takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Clark misses with a hook. Jesus ducked under it nicely.
And Jesus responds with a good body kick, but Clark manages to step out the way in time.
Jesus throws the kick towards the body but Clark avoids it.
Jesus bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Jesus was about to counter that last move with a leg kick but changes his mind.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jesus throws an off balance right hand
and Clark counters with a straight right hand.
Clark pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Jesus feints the counter takedown.
Clark avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Jesus.
Jesus misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Clark.
An attempted straight right counter from Clark misses the target.
Clark scores with a body shot.
Clark slips a jab from Jesus.
Jesus throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Jesus lands a jab-cross combination.
Jesus has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Jesus takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Clark throws a hook to the side of Jesus's head but Jesus sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Jesus feints a counter leg kick.
Jesus fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Jesus misses the shot to the body.
Jesus uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Clark.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Clark lands with a thumping leg kick.
Clark tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Jesus misses the shot to the body.
Jesus jabs Clark to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Jesus thuds his right hand into Clark's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Jesus cracks a nice hook into Clark's ribs.
Jesus swings for the body but Clark moves out of range.
Clark is looking to counter punch.
Clark blocks the body kick.
Clark looks to throw the jab but Jesus is out of range.
Clark tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Eddie Clark is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Jesus misses with a leg kick.
A solid leg kick lands there for Jesus.
A jab from Clark misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jesus scores with a hook to the body. Clark takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Clark is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Jesus fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Clark checks it well.
Clark uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Jesus.
Jesus throws the left hand but Clark avoids the punch easily.
Jesus fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Clark appeared to be looking to counter that last move with a leg kick.
No For Gay Jesus seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Clark jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Jesus looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Jesus takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Jesus thuds a left hand into Clark's body.
Jesus misses with a low kick.
A bone on bone clash there as Clark blocks the leg kick.
Jesus throws a low kick, looking for Clark's leg but Clark calmly moves out of range.
Clark thinks about countering with a body kick.
The fighters circling - Clark throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Jesus throws out a counter right but Clark avoids it with no problem.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Clark.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jesus dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Jesus throws a body shot but no joy.
Clark throws a jab when Jesus was well out of range.
Clark misses the jab.
Jesus flicks out a counter leg kick but Clark steps away.
Jesus tries to bum rush Clark with a series of wild strikes but Clark uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Clark is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Jesus tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
An inside leg kick lands from Jesus.
Jesus misses with a lunging right hand
and Clark cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Clark loads up on a big right hand but Jesus slips the punch.
A solid body kick from Jesus.
Clark looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Jab, jab by Clark - just one landing.
Clark connects with the punch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

No For Gay Jesus showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on No For Gay Jesus's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.


Clark is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Jesus.
Jesus swings for the body but Clark moves out of range.
Clark moves away from the strike by Jesus.
Jesus fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Jesus is looking to land body kicks.
Jesus swings away with a body shot that misses
enabling Clark to counter with a crisp jab.
Clark misses with a hook
and Jesus counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
A head kick by Jesus misses
and Clark counters with a nice uppercut.
A slow jab from Jesus misses its intended target.
Jesus looks to throw the jab but Clark is out of range.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jesus misses with a jab to the body
letting Clark counter with a right hand.
Jesus tries a low kick but Clark avoids it.
Jesus tries to move into range but Clark moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
Jab by Clark.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clark looks to land a right hand but Jesus moved out of range.
Jesus throws out a counter right but Clark avoids it with no problem.
Jesus throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Jesus slips under a jab.
A jab from Jesus misses.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Clark, right into the meat.
A leg kick checked by Clark.
Jesus slips a jab from Clark.
Jesus takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Jesus fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Jesus misses with a hook to the body
and Clark counters with a nice body shot.
Jesus staying out of range there.
Clark tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A head kick misses from Clark.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Clark throws a low kick but it's checked well by Jesus.
A clash of legs there as Clark blocks the low kick.
Jesus throws a looping overhand right but Clark ducks down to avoid it.
Jesus has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Jesus there as he acknowledges the shot.
Jesus keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Clark.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Jesus checks a leg kick nicely.
Jesus thinks about the counter body kick.
Jesus throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Jesus keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Clark.
Jesus rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Clark cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Clark on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Jesus ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Jesus jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Clark throws a head kick but Jesus moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Clark uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jesus.
It looked like Clark wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Clark throws a looping overhand right but Jesus ducks down to avoid it.
Jesus fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Jesus swings widly with a right hand
and Clark counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Nice shot lands for Clark.
Jesus uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Jesus takes one on the button.

Jesus is rocked!
Jesus scores with the left hand. Clark knows he should have avoided that one.
Jesus is still on wobbly legs! Can Clark finish him?
Jesus moves into range and connects with a jab.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Jesus, as that shot connected.
Clark jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Jesus avoids the head kick by Clark.
Clark goes for a small jab and connects. Now Clark goes in closer pressing the issue. Left hook, right straight! Jesus stumbles back but Clark runs in with a huge uppercut knocking Jesus to the ground! What a finish! You have to wonder if Jesus will ever be the same after a knockout like that.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:52 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Eddie Clark!
Eddie Clark retains his welterweight title!
Eddie Clark spent the whole post fight interview bigging himself up. It didn't go down that well with the fans after a while as they thought it was a bit arrogant.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
58%
 
 
 
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