PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight kickboxing rules bout between Trumps Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Tyson Suarez (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?

Thundercunt
vs
Suarez

183 cm
27
175 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

170 cm
19
153 lbs
6 - 3 - 0

Excellent MT
Very quick

Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Sully's Bar & Grill

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Trumps Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 3 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Tyson Suarez!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Daniel Franklin and Peter Branson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Suarez lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Suarez misses with a double jab
and Thundercunt counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Suarez swinging wildly here.
Suarez throws a right hand that Thundercunt ducks under and follows up with a left that Thundercunt also avoids with ease.
We've been told by Thundercunt's head coaches at Woodhouse's that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Suarez throws a left and a right that both miss
and Thundercunt counters with a nice uppercut.
Thundercunt connects with an inside leg kick.
Thundercunt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Suarez.
Suarez misses with a double jab
and Thundercunt counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Suarez takes a swing at Thundercunt's ribcage but misses.
Suarez throws a right and a left that both miss.
A little feinted left hand from Thundercunt on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Suarez has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Thundercunt finds it's way round the side to connect with Suarez's head.
Suarez's coach down at Woodhouse's was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Suarez's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Suarez throws an off balance right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a nice body kick.
Suarez looks winded!
Suarez misses with a combination
and Thundercunt counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A combination from Suarez does no damage.
Thundercunt is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Suarez throws out a loose jab but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Suarez throws a series of punches but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Suarez misses with an uppercut
and Thundercunt counters with a good low kick that Suarez was not able to check.
A combination from Suarez does no damage.
Suarez misses with a lunging right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a body kick that stops Suarez in his tracks momentarily.
Thundercunt works Suarez's body with a nice hook.

Thundercunt lands a front kick to the face, that drops Suarez to the canvas! Is he dazed or just shocked? He's back to his feet and the referee is going to allow him to continue the fight!

It looks like Tyson Suarez has been cut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Suarez throws an off balance right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a slapping leg kick.

Thundercunt closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.

Thundercunt escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Suarez throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Thundercunt lets loose with a powerful body kick. Suarez will feel that in the morning.
Suarez chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Thundercunt can pounce on him.
Suarez is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.

Thundercunt closes the distance and pushes Suarez back into the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt scores with a shot to the side of Suarez's head.
Thundercunt digs a right hand underneath Suarez's ribcage. Suarez let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Thundercunt lands with a light punch inside.
Good body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt scores with a shoulder strike.
Thundercunt lands a nice shot to the body.
Thundercunt scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A hook to the body from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.

Thundercunt breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Thundercunt lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Thundercunt lands a nice hook to Suarez's body. Suarez takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt scoring well with a low kick there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Suarez misses with a wild combination.
Thundercunt fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Suarez swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Thundercunt counters with a nice low kick that buckles Suarez's knee momentarily.

Thundercunt fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Suarez, pushing him back against the cage.
Thundercunt lands an elbow that stopped Suarez in his tracks for a moment.
Thundercunt lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Suarez's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Still in the clinch, Thundercunt scores with a nice short uppercut.
Nice body punch from Thundercunt - that landed with a thud.
A short left from Thundercunt.
A short body shot lands from Thundercunt as the two fighters clinch.
Thundercunt digs a right hand underneath Suarez's ribcage. Suarez let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Thundercunt lands a damaging elbow.

That has opened up Tyson Suarez's cut even more.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Thundercunt lands a left hand that snaps the head of Suarez backwards.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Thundercunt creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
A shot in the inside from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands a left hand.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Thundercunt.
Suarez's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Thundercunt creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Thundercunt cracks Suarez with a nice body shot.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Thundercunt.
Nice body punch from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Thundercunt lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.

Suarez is rocked!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Thundercunt lands a right hand.
Suarez is still on wobbly legs! Can Thundercunt finish him?
A short uppercut from Thundercunt.
A nice left hand lands by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Trumps Thundercunt dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Tyson Suarez's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Suarez takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Suarez seems to have recovered his senses.

Thundercunt closes the distance and clinches.
Thundercunt lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Suarez backwards.
A shot in the inside from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Trumps Thundercunt has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Suarez blocks a body shot from Thundercunt.
Suarez's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Thundercunt lands an uppercut.
A short right from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Thundercunt creates a bit of space for himself and unleashed what can only be described as a tiger uppercut, straight out of Street Fighter! Suarez crashes to the mat! Can he make it back to his feet in time? 3,4,5,6... it doesn't look like he's going to make it! Suarez face plants back to the mat and the referee calls off the fight! Thundercunt takes it with a brutal technical knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:49 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch). Trumps Thundercunt!
A very excited looking Trumps Thundercunt made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.