PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Imzda Noob (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Howard Stern (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Stern is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: The Great American Nightmare. The crowd giving both fighters a great reception on their way into the arena. That's good to see.

Noob
vs
Stern

180 cm
37
190 lbs
16 - 5 - 0

184 cm
29
199 lbs
18 - 10 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Very quick

Excellent grappler
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Perkele!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 16 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Imzda Noob!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Howard Stern!
The judges for this bout are Andrew Berry, Sam Margolis and Colin Fotheringham.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Noob misses with a low kick.
We've been told by Noob's head coaches at GTi 888 that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
A big left from Stern misses.
Noob throwing a counter right hand but Stern manages to avoid it.
Howard Stern seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Stern loads up on a big right hand but Noob slips the punch.
Noob moves out of range of the strikes.
Noob throws a leg kick but Stern sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Stern shoots in but Noob avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Noob throws a right hand that Stern ducks under and follows up with a left that Stern also avoids with ease.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Stern misses with a lunging right hand
and Noob counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Stern throws an overhand right that lands on Noob's shoulder, as Noob tries to avoid the shot.
A swing and a miss from Stern.
As Stern tries to get set, Noob tries to push him back and clinch up but Stern manages to avoid the attempt.
Stern goes for a double leg but Noob avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the cage as Noob continues to drive forward.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stern throws a lazy right hand but Noob sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
An attempted straight right counter from Noob misses the target.
Noob misses with a wild combination.
Noob digs a good hook to Stern's body.
Stern uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Noob.
Stern doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Noob fails to land with a series of punches.
Stern keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Noob.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Stern! But no joy.
Stern tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Noob defends well and Stern ends up having to push Noob into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Imzda Noob has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Howard Stern.
Stern throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Noob wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stern moves forwards but Noob connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Stern lands the left hand.
Stern throws a hook to the side of Noob's head but Noob sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Noob throws a low kick but Stern avoids it.
Imzda Noob is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Noob ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Stern feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Noobs jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Noob blocks a jab.

Stern gets the takedown into side control.

Stern tries for a kimura but Noob is defending well.
You can see the frustration on Noob's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Stern trying to control the action but Noob is working from the bottom.
A lull in the action here.
Stern trying to control the position but Noob is working away.
Noob is being controlled here.
In the pre-fight buildup videos we saw Stern working his ground and pound in the gym. He isn't landing a great percentage of his ground strikes so far though.
Stern tries to cartwheel into mount but he doesn't manage it.
Noob tries to bench press Stern off him but Stern keeps the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Noob is not content to let Stern control the position.
Noob tries to bench press Stern off him but Stern keeps the position.
Stern passes to full mount! That's big trouble for Noob!
Stern wants to control the pace but Noob is squirming around nicely.
Noob gets back to half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Stern wants to control but Noob is keeping him busy.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Stern is thwarting Noob's attempts to control the position.
Stern uses his free foot to push down on Noob's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Noob.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Howard Stern will probably get the nod.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Stern misses with an uppercut. Noob saw that one coming.
Noob throws a right and a left that Stern avoids nicely.
Stern steps in looking to clinch after the strikes miss from Noob.

Stern tries to keep at a distance but Noob has taken the fight into the clinch.
Noob tries to work over Stern's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Stern wants to take the fight to the mat but Noob manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Noob misses with a hook from the clinch.
Stern tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Noob just stands there and leans against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Noob misses with a hook from the clinch.
Noob struggles to land a body shot inside as Stern controls his hands.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Noob.
Stern blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Stern blocks a punch to the side of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Stern tightens his grip and picks Noob up, before dumping him to the ground. Noob manages to land in guard.
Stern stopping the sweep attempt from Noob.
Stern trying to control the position from guard on top but Noob is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Stern tries to free his leg and advance position but Noob is retaining full guard.
Stern trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Stern in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Noob controlling Stern's posture.
Stern wants to pass the guard but Noob is keeping the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stern postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Stern pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Noob is keeping the position for now.
Stern keeps trying to improve his position.
Howard Stern has got the better of the ground game so far.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Stern displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.
Stern might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Noob blocks a jab.
Stern scores with a jab. Noob acknowledges it with a nod of the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Noob dips to his left and cracks Stern with an uppercut!
Stern lands an overhand right.
Stern defending well as Noob loads up on a big left hand.
Stern throws a lazy uppercut
and Noob cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Noob throws an overhand right that lands on Stern's shoulder, as Stern tries to avoid the shot.
Stern avoids the body shot from Noob.
Noob misses with a straight left.
Stern throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Noob sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Stern cracks Noob with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Stern lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Noob is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Stern.
Noob is looking to clinch.
Noob will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Noob throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Stern lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Noob waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Stern.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Noob tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Stern was well out of range. Poor timing from Noob.
Stern misses with an uppercut.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Noob staying out of range there.
Noob fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Stern on the side of the head.
Stern connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Howard Stern showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

Horrible takedown attempt by Stern or perhaps it was just good defense by Noob, which made it look bad.
Stern scores with a punch to the head.
Stern lands a nice hook to Noob's body. Noob takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Noob throws a body punch but Stern moves out of range.
Stern cracks Noob with an open hand slap.
Noob throws a quick inside leg kick.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Noob darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
A decent looking cross lands there for Noob.
Stern throws a poor cross that misses
and Noob connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Noob takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Stern takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Noob throws a big shot that misses.
Stern fails with a takedown attempt.
Noob swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
An inside leg kick lands from Noob.
Nice uppercut lands for Noob. That snapped Stern's head back.
Noob will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Noob tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Stern paws at him with a jab and circles away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stern clobbers Noob with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Stern throws the left hand but Noob avoids the punch easily.
Stern misses with a straight right.
Stern throws a hook to the side of Noob's head but Noob sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Stern throws a hook to the side of Noob's head but Noob sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
A jab from Stern does it's job there.
Noob slips a straight right by Stern.
Noob throws a body punch but Stern moves out of range.
Stern takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Stern thows a left - swing and a miss!
Noob throws a big counter combination but Stern scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Stern.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Noob takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Stern looks to land a left hand but Noob moved out of range nicely.
Stern waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Noob.
Noob uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Stern.
Stern has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Noob.
A cross from Stern lands.
Noob lands with a thumping leg kick.
Noob looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.

Stern closes the distance and scores a nice trip takedown into half guard. Noob did well to prevent Stern getting side control.

Stern is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Noob sees it coming and defends easily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Stern seems to be working for a kimura but Noob defends the submission attempt.
Noob tries to get to full guard but Stern has control of the leg.
Imzda Noob has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Howard Stern is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Stern wants to free his trapped foot but Noob is holding on for dear life with his legs.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!

Stern is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Noob is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Stern's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Stern's back!

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Howard Stern.
I've got Stern winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 27:30
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 27:30
Judge Colin Fotheringham scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Howard Stern!
Howard Stern really struggled to get his t-shirt on before his hand was raised. Making sure that Perkele! logo gets some air time is pretty tricky when you're all sweaty.