PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Yormomza Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Brian Fipps (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Well, I have no idea who's going to take this one!

Thundercunt
vs
Fipps

225 cm
18
300 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

188 cm
18
285 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

Excellent MT
Very strong

Basic striking
Granite chin

Hellraiser FightGear

Oblivion Inc.

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Yormomza Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Brian Fipps!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Michael Johnstone and Bart Greer.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thundercunt slips a jab from Fipps.
Thundercunt misses with an uppercut.
Thundercunt connects with the punch.
Fipps ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Thundercunt moves away.
Thundercunt throws a shot from downtown. Fipps moves away and avoids it.
Fipps was about to counter that last move with a leg kick but changes his mind.
Fipps takes one to the side of the head.
Fipps just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt blocks a jab.
Thundercunt lands a lovely overhand right.
Fipps lands with a nice body punch.
Thundercunt jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Thundercunt uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Fipps.
No joy there for Fipps, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Thundercunt jabs Fipps to the body, keeping him at a distance.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thundercunt. Fipps does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt throws a jab but it's blocked by Fipps.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thundercunt cracks Fipps with a right hand to the side of the head.
Fipps digs a good hook to Thundercunt's body.
Thundercunt waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Fipps.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Fipps is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Thundercunt rather than just go for the knockout.
Thundercunt throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Fipps defending well as Thundercunt loads up on a big left hand.
Thundercunt staying out of range there.
Fipps throws a body punch but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Thundercunt throwing a counter right hand but Fipps manages to avoid it.
Fipps has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
A jab from Thundercunt misses.
Fipps swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
A big right from Thundercunt misses.
Thundercunt moves away from the strike by Fipps.
Thundercunt definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Nice cross by Thundercunt.
A bone on bone clash there as Thundercunt blocks the leg kick.
Thundercunt dodges the punch combination from Fipps.
Fipps lands with a good body shot.
Fipps scores with a shot to the body.
Thundercunt listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the side of Fipps's head but Fipps sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Fipps keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Thundercunt paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Thundercunt is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fipps moves away from the strike by Thundercunt.
Fipps scores with a hook to the body. Thundercunt takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Fipps lands a right hook to the body.
Thundercunt throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Thundercunt missing with a left hand there. Fipps was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Thundercunt swings widly with a right hand
and Thundercunt takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Fipps waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Thundercunt.
Fipps throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt misses with an uppercut. Fipps saw that one coming.
Fipps misses with a wild combination.
Fipps displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Thundercunt throws out the jab.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Thundercunt doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Fipps throws a body shot but no joy.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Yormomza Thundercunt will probably get the nod.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Thundercunt looks to throw the jab but Fipps is out of range.
Thundercunt lands with a nice body punch.
Thundercunt slips a jab from Fipps.
A telegraphed right hand from Thundercunt misses the target.
Thundercunt goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
The fighters circling - Fipps throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Nice straight punches there by Thundercunt. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Thundercunt.
Fipps keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Fipps loads up on a big right hand but Thundercunt slips the punch.
Thundercunt throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Fipps's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Fipps duly obliges.
Fipps fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Thundercunt manages to avoid it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fipps misses with a wild body shot.
Thundercunt throws a body punch but Fipps moves out of range.
A big left from Fipps misses.
Fipps moves out of range of the strikes.
Fipps lands a nice looking body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fipps thows a left - swing and a miss!
Thundercunt throws a hook to the side of Fipps's head but Fipps sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Fipps throws a shot from downtown. Thundercunt moves away and avoids it.
A slow jab from Fipps misses its intended target.
Thundercunt throwing a counter right hand but Fipps manages to avoid it.
Fipps throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Thundercunt stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Thundercunt misses with a looping right.
Fipps pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Thundercunt back to the cage. Fipps follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
Fipps throws a body punch but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Thundercunt keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Thundercunt lands with a right hand.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Thundercunt digs a good body shot into Fipps's ribs.
Fipps rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Thundercunt makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
A big left from Fipps misses.
Fipps fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt misses with a lunging right hand
and Fipps counters with a left to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fipps digs a good body shot into Thundercunt's ribs.
Thundercunt throws a shot to the body.
Fipps avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fipps just misses with a punch to the body.
Fipps ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Fipps just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Thundercunt lands with a good body shot.
A big left from Fipps misses.
Thundercunt throws a big counter combination but Fipps scrambles out of danger and avoids any damage.
Fipps is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Thundercunt.
It looked like Thundercunt wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Fipps throws a jab but it's blocked by Thundercunt.
A slow jab from Thundercunt misses its intended target.
Fipps looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Thundercunt throws a big shot that misses.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Thundercunt listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Thundercunt walks into a straight right hand from Fipps.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Yormomza Thundercunt will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Fipps takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Fipps throws a series of punches but Thundercunt avoids them all with ease.
The fighters circling - Fipps throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Thundercunt scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
The crowd cheers as Thundercunt lands an impressive looking overhand right. Fipps doesn't seem phased though.
Thundercunt scores with a hook to the body. Fipps takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Thundercunt uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Fipps.
Fipps swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Fipps lands a body shot.
Fipps tests Thundercunt's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Fipps misses with a shot to the body
and Thundercunt counters with a stiff right hand.
Fipps misses with a jab to the body
and Thundercunt counters with a lovely straight right hand!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fipps scores with a body shot.
Thundercunt throws out a loose jab but Fipps uses good head movement to avoid it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Fipps. Thundercunt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thundercunt misses with an uppercut
and Fipps counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Fipps drops his hands momentarily and Thundercunt takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fipps takes one to the chin there.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the side of Fipps's head but Fipps sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Thundercunt bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Thundercunt moves out of range as Fipps strikes.
Fipps finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Fipps will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Thundercunt scores with a shot to the body.
Thundercunt connects with a jab.
Thundercunt throws a looping overhand right but Fipps ducks down to avoid it.
Thundercunt scores with a nice right hand.
Fipps misses with a series of wild punches.
Yormomza Thundercunt is winning the standup battle so far.
Thundercunt steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Fipps.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Thundercunt cracks Fipps with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Thundercunt takes a swing at Fipps's ribcage but misses.
Thundercunt thows a left - swing and a miss!
A countering left hand to the body from Fipps misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Fipps slips a jab from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Fipps takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Fipps throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Thundercunt sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Fipps missing with a left hand there. Thundercunt was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Fipps misses with a left hand
and Thundercunt counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Fipps takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Thundercunt uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Fipps has time to react.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Thundercunt throws a one two combo.
Thundercunt misses with a looping right.
Fipps throws a right hand that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a straight right hand.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Fipps with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Thundercunt to score with a decent uppercut.
Thundercunt fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Nice defenses there by Fipps.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Yormomza Thundercunt clearly takes that round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

A telegraphed right hand from Thundercunt misses the target.
Fipps scores with a jab to the body.
Fipps staying out of range there.
Fipps unleashes a big counter combination but Thundercunt bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.
Fipps tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Thundercunt is able to avoid easily.
Thundercunt takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Thundercunt is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Fipps can do to turn this around?
Fipps blocks a jab.
Fipps throws a body shot but no joy.
Thundercunt fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Fipps looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Fipps throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fipps misses with a low kick.
Thundercunt throws an off balance right hand
and Fipps connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt slips a jab from Fipps.
Fipps is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Fipps bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Fipps ducks under a wild hook from Thundercunt.
Fipps throws a right and a left that both miss.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fipps misses with a lunging right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
A shot to the body from Fipps misses
and Thundercunt cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Thundercunt clobbers Fipps with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Thundercunt misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Fipps.
Fipps throws a hook to the side of Thundercunt's head but Thundercunt sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Thundercunt thuds his right hand into Fipps's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Fipps scores with a jab to the body.
Thundercunt misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Fipps misses with a wild combination.
It looked like Thundercunt wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Fipps throws a shot to the body.
Fipps has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Thundercunt swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Thundercunt fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Thundercunt throws an overhand right that lands on Fipps's shoulder, as Fipps tries to avoid the shot.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Fipps defending well as Thundercunt loads up on a big left hand.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fipps throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Fipps misses with a wild body shot.
Thundercunt appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Thundercunt looks to land a left hand but Fipps moved out of range nicely.
Fipps fails to land with a series of punches.
A combination from Fipps does no damage.
Some wild striking there from Thundercunt.
Fipps moves away from the strike by Thundercunt.
Nice defenses there by Thundercunt.
Fipps throws a body punch but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Thundercunt scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Nice defenses there by Fipps.
Fipps uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thundercunt.
Nice defenses there by Thundercunt.
Fipps digs a good hook to Thundercunt's body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close fourth round but I would say that Yormomza Thundercunt will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Fipps on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Brian Fipps has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Thundercunt looks to score with a jab to the body but Fipps is just out of range.
Fipps misses with a lunging right hand
and Thundercunt counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Fipps thinking.
Fipps takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
A slow jab from Fipps misses its intended target.
Fipps thows a left - swing and a miss!
Thundercunt takes one on the button.

It looks like Yormomza Thundercunt has been cut.
Fipps is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Nice defenses there by Fipps.
Thundercunt takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Fipps just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Fipps misses with a straight right.
Fipps looks to land a left hand but Thundercunt moved out of range nicely.
Thundercunt throwing a counter right hand but Fipps manages to avoid it.
Thundercunt throws a right hand that Fipps ducks under and follows up with a left that Fipps also avoids with ease.
Thundercunt lands a powerful looking uppercut that connected with his opponent's jaw.
Fipps is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Thundercunt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice shot by Fipps.
Fipps misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Thundercunt.
Fipps misses with a body shot.
Thundercunt slips a jab and a cross from Fipps.
Fipps is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
Fipps ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Thundercunt moves away.
A swing and a miss from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt avoids the body shot from Fipps.
A counter left hand to the body from Thundercunt misses its target.
Thundercunt goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Yormomza Thundercunt is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Fipps looks to throw the jab but Thundercunt is out of range.
Danga de danga de dang - Thundercunt scores with a four punch combination!
Fipps swings away with a body shot that misses
and Thundercunt counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Fipps looks to land a right hand but Thundercunt moved out of range.
Thundercunt was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Thundercunt scores with a decent looking hook.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fipps takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
The crowd cheers as Thundercunt lands an impressive looking overhand right. Fipps doesn't seem phased though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt lands with a hook. Fipps tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Fipps takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Thundercunt scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Fipps doesn't seem bothered though.
A big right from Fipps misses.
Fipps throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Thundercunt to counter with a crisp jab.
Nice jab there from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Fipps throws a series of punches but Thundercunt moves out of range.
Fipps scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Fipps throws a lazy right hand but Thundercunt sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Thundercunt throwing a counter right hand but Fipps manages to avoid it.
Fipps rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Thundercunt moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Thundercunt takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Thundercunt lands a right hook to the body.
Thundercunt lands a really nice looking cross but Fipps seems unphased.
Thundercunt cracks Fipps with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.

And that's the end of the fight!
Yormomza Thundercunt showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Thundercunt has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge David Hoff scores the fight 50:46
Judge Michael Johnstone scores the fight 50:45
Judge Bart Greer scores the fight 50:45

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Yormomza Thundercunt!
Yormomza Thundercunt spent the whole post fight interview bigging himself up. It didn't go down that well with the fans after a while as they thought it was a bit arrogant.