PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Whatacunt Bones (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Barry Rooster (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Rooster is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: For whom the bell tolls. Both these fighters are unbeaten, so somebody's 0 has got to go!Whatacunt Bones is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Bones
vs
Rooster

195 cm
26
217 lbs
9 - 0 - 0

213 cm
25
275 lbs
6 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Very strong

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed

Lion Fightwear
MayheM sportswear

Sydney Fight Gear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Whatacunt Bones!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Barry Rooster!
The judges for this bout are Ryoma Takatsuka, Micheangelo Fripello and Josh West.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bones connects with a body shot.
Bones is looking to clinch but Rooster is avoiding it.
Rooster looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Bones is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Rooster.
Despite the aggression on Rooster's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Rooster's coach down at Die Trying Gym was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Rooster's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
Rooster throws a lazy right hand but Bones sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Rooster uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Bones tries to close the distance and clinch up but Rooster swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Bones tries to clinch but Rooster is having none of it.
Rooster swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Bones connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
A big left from Rooster misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Rooster slips under a jab from Bones.
Bones misses the jab.
A nice side step and Rooster releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
Bones tries to close the distance and clinch but Rooster swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Bones throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bones lands the left hand.
Bones throws an off balance right hand
and Rooster counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Rooster avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Bones misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Rooster.
Rooster throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Bones throws a body shot but no joy.
Rooster is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Bones with a body shot.

Bones has managed to clinch.
Bones swings wildly with an uppercut but Rooster uses good head movement to avoid it.
Bones misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Bones softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
I was talking to Bones's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Bones softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Bones misses with a punch to the body.
Bones lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bones scores with a shoulder strike.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A shot in the inside from Bones.
Rooster wants to break free but Bones has control.
Bones misses with a hook to the ribs.
Bones pushes Rooster back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Bones lands a left hand that snaps the head of Rooster backwards.
Bones lands a nice uppercut.
Bones lands an uppercut.

Rooster is rocked!
Bones lands with a short shot to the head.
Rooster is still on wobbly legs! Can Bones finish him?
Bones lands a right hand.
Bones dips a shoulder and cracks Rooster with a mighty uppercut! Rooster falls back against the cage and Bones unloads with a barrage of strikes! Rooster is completely out with his eyes open, only supported by the cage! Save him ref! Eventually the ref decides to do his job and jumps in - Bones screams abuse at the incompetent official before going over to celebrate with his corner. Brutal stuff!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:49 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Whatacunt Bones!
After winning the bout, Whatacunt Bones thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
In defeat, Barry Rooster stepped up to the mic, saying 'Shouldnt have gone to the pub last night'.