PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Joe Bradley (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Sissy Bitch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bradley comes to the cage accompanied by rocky road to dublin. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Bradley
vs
Bitch

179 cm
22
138 lbs
3 - 5 - 0

150 cm
18
130 lbs
4 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter fighter
Experienced

BJJ Purple Belt
Brawler
Can Moonwalk

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Joe Bradley!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Sissy Bitch!
The judges for this bout are William Peck, Steve Smith and Ian Loll.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bitch misses the body punch
and Bradley counters with a series of strikes. Bitch will be more careful next time no doubt.
Bitch throws an off balance right hand
and Bradley counters with a left and a right that stings Bitch.
Bitch misses with a looping right.
No luck for Bitch with that takedown attempt.

Bitch shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
Bradley tries to kick Bitch off but Bitch keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bitch is looking to take a break and control but Bradley is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Bradley pushes Bitch off but Bitch dives into side control.
Bitch tries to advance to mount but can't.
Bitch wants to control but Bradley is keeping him busy.
My spies in Fight Factory inform me that Bitch has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Bitch should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.

Bitch working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
You can see the frustration on Bradley's face as Bitch controls the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Bitch tries for a kimura but Bradley is defending well.
Bitch tries to move into full mount but can't pass Bradley's legs.
Bitch keeps trying to improve his position.
Bradley is in a tricky position. We've heard reports from his gym mates at MM eh Academy that he's been drilling escapes, so let's see if he can get back to his feet.
Bradley knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Bitch on the ground.
Bitch slows the pace down.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bradley wants to get back to his feet but Bitch drags him back down.
Bitch trying to control the action but Bradley is working from the bottom.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Bitch is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Bitch gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and Bradley counters with a left and a right that stings Bitch.
Bradley slips a jab from Bitch.
As Bitch looks to move away, Bradley throws a big counter combo but Bitch just gets out of the way.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bitch with a lazy takedown attempt
and Bradley counters with a series of strikes. Bitch will be more careful next time no doubt.
Joe Bradley has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Sissy Bitch.
Bradley uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Bitch.
Bradley seem to be loading up, looking for a big counter.
A shot to the body from Bitch misses
and Bradley counters with a one-two to the body.
Bitch shoots in for a takedown but Bradley shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Bradley is looking for a counter combo.
Bradley is working the combinations to good effect here.
Bitch throws a body punch but Bradley moves out of range.
Bitch misses with a jab to the body
and Bradley counters with a left and a right that stings Bitch.

Bitch is rocked!
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bitch misses with a shot to the body
and Bradley counters with a deadly accurate combination that rocks Bitch badly! He tries to strike back but Bradley puts an end to that with another precision combo that knocks Bitch out cold! Oh man, Bitch will never hear the end of this one!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Joe Bradley!
Joe Bradley seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.