PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Dog Turd On A Stick (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Toby Powers (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Well, the cameraman is lingering on a pretty young lady for a bit too long there. Keep your eyes on the prize buddy or you'll miss the fighter intros!

Turd On A Stick
vs
Powers

180 cm
26
185 lbs
1 - 3 - 0

180 cm
27
185 lbs
4 - 3 - 0

Decent wrestler
Counter fighter
Good in bed

Good wrestler
Counter fighter
Determined

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Dog Turd On A Stick!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 3 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Toby Powers!
The judges for this bout are Igor Prikhodko, Dmitry Maklakov and Illya Tyunina.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
On A Stick scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Powers doesn't seem bothered though.
Powers takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Powers with a lazy takedown attempt
and On A Stick counters with a stiff right hand.

On A Stick looking to score a takedown here. Powers is defending well but On A Stick drives through and ends up in Powers's guard.
On A Stick wants to pass the guard but Powers is keeping the position.
Powers keeping moving, preventing On A Stick from controlling successfully.
On A Stick controls from within his opponent's guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
On A Stick tries to free his leg and advance position but Powers is retaining full guard.
On A Stick landing with the ground and pound.

That's one minute gone in the round.
On A Stick stands up over Powers, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
On A Stick trying to control the position from guard on top but Powers is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

Powers is looking for a triangle but On A Stick pushes his legs off easily.
Powers keeping moving, preventing On A Stick from controlling successfully.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Powers wants to control the position but On A Stick says "no thanks buddy" and passes to half guard.

On A Stick is working for a kimura but Powers is defending it quite comfortably.
Still in half guard, On A Stick seems content to control.
Powers wants to improve his position but On A Stick is controlling well.
On A Stick is trying to control the action in half guard but Powers is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Powers fails with the takedown
and On A Stick counters with a lovely straight right hand!
On A Stick with a nice cross.
On A Stick lands a really nice looking cross but Powers seems unphased.
On A Stick lands with a kick to the temple. Powers shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Powers misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Powers has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by On A Stick.
On A Stick lands with an uppercut that bounces Powers off the cage and back into range.
Powers takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Nice uppercut lands for On A Stick. That snapped Powers's head back.

Powers is rocked!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A thudding body kick lands there by On A Stick!
Powers looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
On A Stick dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Powers. That did some damage!
Powers tries to clinch but On A Stick moves out of range.
Powers misses with a takedown attempt
enabling On A Stick to counter with a crisp jab.
Powers is still on wobbly legs! Can On A Stick finish him?
We've been told by On A Stick's head coaches at Strikey McFisty's Combat Emporium that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Dog Turd On A Stick has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Toby Powers.
Powers looks winded!

On A Stick knocks Powers to the floor with a head kick! Can he finish him!?
Powers tries to bench press On A Stick off him but On A Stick keeps the position.
Sloppy strikes there by On A Stick.
On A Stick misses with the ground and pound.
Powers seems to have recovered his senses.
Powers is trying to improve his position.
On A Stick wants to control but Powers is keeping him busy.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dog Turd On A Stick dominated that round.
That's time! On A Stick's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Powers fails with the takedown
and On A Stick makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Powers doesn't succeed with the takedown
and On A Stick connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
On A Stick throws a sloppy head kick and Powers moves out of range easily.
A nice inside leg kick there by On A Stick. That's going to slow Powers down.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by On A Stick.
On A Stick misses with an uppercut. Powers saw that one coming.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Powers walks into a stiff left hand from On A Stick.

On A Stick shoots in and gets a takedown into Powers's guard.
On A Stick wants to control from the top but Powers keeps moving.
On A Stick throws an elbow that misses. Powers uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in On A Stick's guard. Nice move by Powers!

That's one minute gone in the round.

Powers stands up from On A Stick's guard - Powers perhaps looking for a knockout.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Powers.
Dog Turd On A Stick has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Toby Powers.
Powers is breathing heavily.
On A Stick's jab looks to have found its range, popping Powers under the eye.
Powers on the wrong end of a nice jab.
On A Stick thuds his right hand into Powers's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
On A Stick scores with a hook to the body. Powers takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.

Powers fakes a strike and closes the distance, dragging On A Stick to the ground. Powers is now in On A Stick's guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Powers keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of On A Stick's head.
On A Stick is trying to keep Powers in close.

On A Stick looking for a guillotine here but Powers defends easily.
Powers slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

Powers swings around for an armbar but On A Stick sees it coming a mile off and turns beautifully into Powers's guard.
On A Stick passes into half guard under a barage of strikes.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
On A Stick prevents Powers from improving his position.
On A Stick looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Powers is looking for a sweep. On A Stick is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
On A Stick is trying to control. Powers wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if Powers can do anything to dispel that myth.
On A Stick prevents Powers from improving his position.
Dog Turd On A Stick overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Powers is staying active underneath On A Stick, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Nice strikes from On A Stick there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
On A Stick trying to pass the guard but Powers defending well.
On A Stick trying to control from half guard but Powers is working away.
On A Stick passes the half guard and he's now in mount! Big trouble for Powers!
On A Stick trying to control but Powers is having none of it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dog Turd On A Stick dominated that second round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! And we move into the final round!

On A Stick lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Powers shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts On A Stick as he jumps to the side.

Powers fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. On A Stick sprawls well initially but Powers persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
Powers is trying to control. On A Stick wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.

On A Stick is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Powers pulls his head out easily.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
On A Stick tries to roll over but Powers keeps him under control.
The fighters are battling for position here. On A Stick manages to regain full guard. Nice work.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Powers postures up.
On A Stick keeping full guard, as Powers tries to pass.
On A Stick controls Powers momentarily but Powers frees himself.
Powers landing with the ground and pound.

On A Stick is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Powers defends well.
On A Stick is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Powers can do to turn this around?
On A Stick looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dog Turd On A Stick is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Powers with a flurry of punches that miss.
Powers won't allow On A Stick to sweep him here.

On A Stick looking for a guillotine here but Powers defends easily.

Powers is holding a leg here, probably looking for an ankle lock - he drops back and goes for it! On A Stick is in trouble! Is it all over??? No! On A Stick has escaped and now he's on top!

Powers can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as On A Stick controls the pace.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Powers is looking to sweep but instead, On A Stick has passed into half guard.
On A Stick is controlling the pace.
On A Stick has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
The referee is asking the fighters to pick up the pace.
This is a sustained period of stalling by On A Stick.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
On A Stick goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Toby Powers has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
On A Stick showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Powers.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dog Turd On A Stick showed his dominance in that final round.
Well On A Stick has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Igor Prikhodko scores the fight for Dog Turd On A Stick!
Judge Dmitry Maklakov scores the fight for Dog Turd On A Stick!
Judge Illya Tyunina scores the fight for Dog Turd On A Stick!

Dog Turd On A Stick wins by unanimous decision!
Dog Turd On A Stick took some time post fight to say the following; 'Great fight between two stars with remarkably similar builds. But the one thing you didn't count on was my IMMENSE RETARD STRENGTH!!!'.