PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jobber Chamberpot (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and The Noob (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Noob has chosen Paint It Black BYThe Rolling Stones as his entrance music. We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Chamberpot
vs
Noob

225 cm
18
300 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

150 cm
22
300 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Basic striking
Big heart

BJJ Purple Belt
Brawler
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Jobber Chamberpot!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, The Noob!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Cesar, Alexandre Firmino and Mauricio Rocha.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Noob shoots for a double leg takedown but Chamberpot sprawls well. He's pushed Noob's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Noob misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

Chamberpot closes the distance and clinches.
Noob stalling in the clinch but Chamberpot improves position.
Noob prevents a takedown attempt there.
Chamberpot prevents Noob from breaking the clinch.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Chamberpot has Noob pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Noob manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Noob is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Chamberpot pulls him back up using the underhooks.

Chamberpot breaks the clinch.
Nice takedown defense from Chamberpot. No joy for Noob on that attempt.
Jobber Chamberpot has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of The Noob.

Chamberpot rushes Noob and presses him up against the cage.
Noob is trying to break free.
Chamberpot tries for a takedown but Noob manages to get underhooks.
Noob can't break the clinch.
Chamberpot goes for a takedown in the clinch but Noob prevents it.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Noob tries to pull guard but Chamberpot won't allow it.
A head punch on the inside from Noob fails to land.

Chamberpot manages to pull guard.
Noob tries to stand but Chamberpot is controlling from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Noob decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.
Noob looks gassed!
Noob shoots in looking for a takedown. Chamberpot tries to sprawl out of it but Noob keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Chamberpot manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.

Chamberpot has managed to clinch.

Chamberpot breaks from the clinch.
Noob throws a nice looking combination but Chamberpot bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.

Chamberpot has managed to clinch.
Noob jumps guard but Chamberpot stands there with Noob around his waist. Noob gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Noob is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Chamberpot is keeping busy.

Chamberpot gets double underhooks and manages to take the fight to the ground.
Noob keeping moving, preventing Chamberpot from controlling successfully.

Chamberpot stands up and waves to Noob to follow him.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Chamberpot lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Noob should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.

Chamberpot closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Chamberpot goes for a takedown in the clinch but Noob prevents it.
Chamberpot drops down looking for an ankle pick but Noob pulls his leg out and moves away.

Chamberpot has managed to clinch.

Chamberpot pulls Noob into guard.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Chamberpot wants to get back to his feet but Noob is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Noob throws a strike but Chamberpot rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Noob looking to hit a scissor sweep but Chamberpot is one step ahead there.
Chamberpot has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.

Noob working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Chamberpot doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Chamberpot manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Noob looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Chamberpot trying to control the position from guard on top but Noob is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Chamberpot stopping the sweep attempt from Noob.

Chamberpot avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jobber Chamberpot dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Chamberpot shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Oh and he's advanced to full mount straight away.
Chamberpot is dominating on the ground here - he's now on his opponent's back, looking to sink in the hooks. Noob is in real trouble.
Chamberpot controlling well, preventing Noob from escaping the position.
Noob tries to escape the position - he's now mounted. Is that better or worse? Hard to tell!

Chamberpot is standing up out of mount! Strange tactic there - he must really want this one on the feet!
Chamberpot misses with a body shot.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Chamberpot misses with a two punch combination.
Noob shoots for a double leg takedown but Chamberpot sprawls well. He's pushed Noob's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.

Chamberpot has managed to clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Noob jumps guard.
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - Noob has eaten all the pies!

Noob has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Chamberpot can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Noob keeping moving, preventing Chamberpot from controlling successfully.

Noob is looking for a triangle but Chamberpot pushes his legs off easily.
Noob looking to hit a scissor sweep but Chamberpot is one step ahead there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.

Chamberpot decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.
Noob throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Chamberpot's waist but Chamberpot gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Noob off to one side.
Chamberpot goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Noob takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
Noob fails to land the takedown.
Jobber Chamberpot has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of The Noob.
Noob shoots in but no luck this time.
Noob shoots for a takedown but Chamberpot saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Noob misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
The Noob seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Noob with a lazy takedown attempt

and Chamberpot counters by clinching up.
Chamberpot goes for a takedown attempt but Noob pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Noob shoots in for a takedown but Chamberpot shows good takedown defense.
Noob misses with a wild combination.
Chamberpot fails to land the takedown.

Noob moves into the clinch successfully.
Noob wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Noob is looking to break free of the clinch but Chamberpot has double underhooks.
Noob tries for a takedown. No joy.
Noob jumps guard but Chamberpot stands there with Noob around his waist. Noob gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Chamberpot drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Chamberpot tries for a takedown but Noob manages to get underhooks.
Noob lands on the inside with an uppercut.

Noob has double underhooks and is working for a body lock takedown. He's got it. The fighters land in half guard but Chamberpot regains guard immediately.
Noob sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Chamberpot's guard.
Chamberpot is looking to escape.
Chamberpot tries to get to full guard but Noob has control of the leg.
Chamberpot keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jobber Chamberpot dominated that second round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

Noob misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.

Chamberpot closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
Chamberpot tries to score with some ground and pound. Noob controls his posture well this time though and the shots don't do any damage.
Noob sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Chamberpot lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.

Chamberpot is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Noob defends it well.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Noob looking for submissions off his back.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The fighters are battling for position here. Noob manages to regain full guard. Nice work.

Noob looking for a guillotine here but Chamberpot defends easily.

Noob is active off his back here, looking for submissions.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Chamberpot wants to get up but he can't break Noob's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Noob wants to get back to his feet but Chamberpot is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Chamberpot trying to control but Noob is working from the bottom.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Noob shoots in but no luck this time.
Chamberpot fails to land the takedown.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Noob wants to clinch up but Chamberpot keeps it at a distance.
Jobber Chamberpot is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Noob fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Jobber Chamberpot has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of The Noob.

Chamberpot drives through and clinches with Noob against the cage.
Noob tries to pull guard but Chamberpot holds him up against the cage and eventually Noob drops back down to his feet.
Noob is trying to break free.
Noob has Chamberpot pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Chamberpot manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Chamberpot fails to pull guard.

Chamberpot ties up his opponent against the cage and manages to drag the fight down to the ground. Chamberpot no doubt will be looking to work submissions from his guard.
Chamberpot working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Noob.

Noob stands up from Chamberpot's guard - Noob perhaps looking for a knockout.
Noob throws a right hand that Chamberpot ducks under and follows up with a left that Chamberpot also avoids with ease.
Noob shoots and misses

and Chamberpot counters into the clinch. Nicely done.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Noob is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Chamberpot is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Noob pulls him back up using the underhooks.

Chamberpot breaks the clinch.
Chamberpot plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Noob circles away from the clinch attempt.
Noob lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Chamberpot circles away quickly and effectively.
Noob throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Noob has a takedown stuffed.
Noob fails with the takedown.
The Noob has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

Noob bobs and weaves into range and then changes levels and scores with a nice takedown into side control.

Noob goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Chamberpot rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Noob's guard! Nice work there by Chamberpot!
Chamberpot cracks Noob with a solid left hand.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Jobber Chamberpot.
Well Chamberpot has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Daniel Cesar scores the fight 30:27
Judge Alexandre Firmino scores the fight 30:27
Judge Mauricio Rocha scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jobber Chamberpot!