PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Janna Jabroni (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and I am the best in the whole world and that is a fact my firend (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). and that is a fact my firend has chosen Ur Mumma Sucks as his entrance music. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Jabroni
vs
am the best in the whole world and that is a fact my firend

180 cm
18
300 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

150 cm
22
300 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
Counter striker
KO power

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Janna Jabroni!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, I am the best in the whole world and that is a fact my firend!
The judges for this bout are , and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
and that is a fact my firend fails in his attempt to clinch.
and that is a fact my firend throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Jabroni takes a kick to the side of the head.

It looks like Janna Jabroni has been cut.
and that is a fact my firend throws a head kick but Jabroni moves out of range.
and that is a fact my firend throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Jabroni tries to clinch up.
Jabroni shoots in but and that is a fact my firend avoids the takedown attempt easily.
and that is a fact my firend throws a right and a left that both miss.
Jabroni avoids the head kick by and that is a fact my firend.
and that is a fact my firend wants to clinch

and Jabroni decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in and that is a fact my firend's guard.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Jabroni trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jabroni in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Jabroni slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Jabroni seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down and that is a fact my firend for as long as he can get away with.
Jabroni trying to control the position from guard on top but and that is a fact my firend is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Jabroni passes and that is a fact my firend's left leg - he's now in half guard.
and that is a fact my firend avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Jabroni.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Jabroni tries to pass to full mount but and that is a fact my firend defends it.
and that is a fact my firend keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Jabroni has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Jabroni landing shots from mount.

Jabroni is going olschool here, as he tries to force and that is a fact my firend to tap using a forearm choke. This isn't 1993 though, so and that is a fact my firend shrugs it off.

Jabroni get's back to his feet.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jabroni shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with and that is a fact my firend but and that is a fact my firend pushes him off and we're back to square one.
and that is a fact my firend wants to clinch but Jabroni slips to the side

and Jabroni counters with a shoot takedown. and that is a fact my firend fights it but they end up in guard.
Jabroni has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Jabroni slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Jabroni is looking to take a break and control but and that is a fact my firend is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

Jabroni is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but and that is a fact my firend is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
Jabroni is breathing heavily.

Jabroni stands up and we're back to a striking position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jabroni uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by and that is a fact my firend.
Jabroni tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and and that is a fact my firend counters with a nice kick to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

and that is a fact my firend moves into range and clinches up with Jabroni.
and that is a fact my firend should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Knees to the body from and that is a fact my firend.

Jabroni decides to pull guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Janna Jabroni dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Janna Jabroni's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Jabroni swings for the body but and that is a fact my firend moves out of range.
Jabroni has a takedown stuffed.
and that is a fact my firend wants to clinch but Jabroni slips to the side

and Jabroni counters with a single leg into guard. and that is a fact my firend didn't expect that.
Jabroni will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Jabroni pushes down on and that is a fact my firend's leg and manages to get into half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Jabroni trying to control the pace.
Jabroni wants to take a breather but and that is a fact my firend is having none of it.
and that is a fact my firend looks like he's trying to stand up.

Jabroni is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jabroni trying to control the action but and that is a fact my firend is working from the bottom.

Jabroni decides to return to a standing position.
Nice takedown defense from and that is a fact my firend. No joy for Jabroni on that attempt.
Jabroni on the wrong end of a nice jab.
I am the best in the whole world and that is a fact my firend is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Jabroni tries for a takedown but and that is a fact my firend sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Janna Jabroni. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
and that is a fact my firend lands a glancing blow to the side of Jabroni's head.
and that is a fact my firend throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Jabroni.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.

and that is a fact my firend connects with a vicious head kick that knocks Jabroni to the floor! and that is a fact my firend dives in looking for the finish!
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - and that is a fact my firend has eaten all the pies!

Jabroni kicks and that is a fact my firend off and gets back to his feet.
and that is a fact my firend closes the distance but Jabroni moves to the side

and Jabroni counters by clinching up.
and that is a fact my firend can't break the clinch.
and that is a fact my firend throws a head punch that misses.
and that is a fact my firend unloads a knee to the mid-section. Jabroni lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
and that is a fact my firend wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

and that is a fact my firend pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Jabroni uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by and that is a fact my firend.
and that is a fact my firend throws a head kick that Jabroni semi-blocks.
and that is a fact my firend clinches but Jabroni breaks the clinch

and Jabroni counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Jabroni.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
and that is a fact my firend wants to stand up but Jabroni is controlling him.
Jabroni passes and that is a fact my firend's right leg, so he's now in half guard.

Jabroni gets to his feet - back to striking we go!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jabroni showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from and that is a fact my firend.
and that is a fact my firend tries to clinch

and Jabroni counters with a takedown into side control.
Jabroni remains in side control and seems content to stay there. It's a versatile position from which he can work both strikes and submissions, whilst maintaining that control, so maybe he'll sit here for a while.

Jabroni working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Jabroni has an Americana. and that is a fact my firend didn't react quickly enough there and he's in big trouble now! He tries to squirm out but is forced to tap! Jabroni is delighted and gyrates infront of the ring girls. They seem to like the attention - it'll be interesting to see if Jabroni hooks up with any of them at the after show party.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:58 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Janna Jabroni!