PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Douche Pillowhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Buzz Lightbeer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Douche Pillowhands had a look across the cage there at his opponent. He definitely means business

Pillowhands
vs
Lightbeer

175 cm
35
172 lbs
22 - 21 - 1

176 cm
34
160 lbs
13 - 8 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Powerful

Zenith Nutrition (160q/225$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 22 - 21 - 1, fighting out of Los Angeles, Douche Pillowhands!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 8 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Buzz Lightbeer!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, Stewart Dunkirk and Cecil Peabody.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lightbeer throws a sloppy head kick and Pillowhands moves out of range easily.
Pillowhands drops down looking for a counter takedown but Lightbeer sprawls and moves away.
We've been informed that Lightbeer has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Pillowhands moves out of range of the leg kick from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Lightbeer's corner calls for a 1-2. Lightbeer obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Lightbeer throws a sloppy head kick and Pillowhands moves out of range easily.
Pillowhands drops down looking for a counter takedown but Lightbeer sprawls and moves away.
Lightbeer is looking to score with low kicks.
Pillowhands tries to counter with a takedown but Lightbeer is quick to defend against it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lightbeer fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Pillowhands is out of range.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Lightbeer throws a hook but Pillowhands avoids it easily.
Lightbeer throws a sloppy head kick and Pillowhands moves out of range easily.
Buzz Lightbeer is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws a leg kick that misses.
Buzz Lightbeer seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Pillowhands moves out of range of the strikes.
Pillowhands tries to counter with a takedown but Lightbeer is quick to defend against it.
Lightbeer scores with a jab.
Pillowhands checks a leg kick.
Lightbeer tries a head kick but it misses.
Pillowhands changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Lightbeer throws a head kick but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Pillowhands uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands drops down looking for a counter takedown but Lightbeer sprawls and moves away.
Lightbeer lands a jab.
A big left from Lightbeer misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Lightbeer.
Lightbeer throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Pillowhands shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Pillowhands slips under a jab from Lightbeer.
Lightbeer misses with an uppercut.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
A jab from Lightbeer misses.
Lightbeer scores with a jab.
A big right from Lightbeer misses.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws a head kick but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Pillowhands changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Lightbeer swinging wildly here.
Lightbeer ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pillowhands moves away.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
Pillowhands slips under a jab.
Lightbeer misses with a looping right.
Pillowhands feinted with a counter takedown.
Lightbeer tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
Lightbeer throws a shot from downtown. Pillowhands moves away and avoids it.
Pillowhands changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws a low kick but Pillowhands avoids it.
Pillowhands feinted with a counter takedown.
Lightbeer is looking to land body kicks.
Lightbeer throws a series of punches but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Lightbeer misses with an uppercut. Pillowhands saw that one coming.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
Pillowhands displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Lightbeer throws out the jab.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Pillowhands bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Pillowhands tries to counter with a takedown but Lightbeer is quick to defend against it.
A telegraphed right hand from Lightbeer misses the target.
Pillowhands drops down looking for a counter takedown but Lightbeer sprawls and moves away.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lightbeer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Lightbeer throws a sloppy head kick

and Pillowhands counters with a single leg into guard. Lightbeer didn't expect that.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Buzz Lightbeer dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Lightbeer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Lightbeer throws a poor cross that misses

so Pillowhands counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for Lightbeer. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.
Lightbeer wants to stand up but Pillowhands is controlling him.
Pillowhands is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Pillowhands looking to pass the guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Pillowhands stops Lightbeer from standing up.

Lightbeer has managed to wall walk up one of the corner posts to get back to his feet. Pillowhands is pushing him up against the cage, looking to control the position.
Lightbeer stalls.
Lightbeer stalls.
The crowd are getting on Lightbeer's back here. They're not happy about his lack of aggression in the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pillowhands has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Lightbeer avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
Lightbeer controlling the action here for a moment.
Pillowhands being controlled against the cage.
Lightbeer has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Lightbeer holding his opponent close, against the cage.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Buzz Lightbeer.
Lightbeer throws out a leg kick but Pillowhands moves out of range and Lightbeer only half commits.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Lightbeer misses with a head kick.
A telegraphed right hand from Lightbeer misses the target.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Lightbeer tries a head kick but it misses.
Lightbeer jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
A big left from Lightbeer misses.
Lightbeer throws a body kick that misses.
Lightbeer connects with a looping right hand.
Lightbeer misses with a low kick.
Lightbeer waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Pillowhands.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Lightbeer misses with an uppercut. Pillowhands saw that one coming.
Buzz Lightbeer seems to be getting the better of the standup.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pillowhands moves out of range of the strikes.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
A head kick by Lightbeer misses

and Pillowhands counters with a single leg into guard. Lightbeer didn't expect that.
Lightbeer wants to stand but Pillowhands is controlling the position.
Lightbeer wants to get back to his feet but he's too absorbed in his own little project and Pillowhands manages to pass to side control.
Lightbeer is trying to stand.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Still in half guard, Pillowhands seems content to control.
Pillowhands prevents Lightbeer from standing back up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pillowhands wants to pass the guard but Lightbeer is defending well.
Lightbeer is looking to escape.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Pillowhands not doing much here.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Pillowhands ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Pillowhands changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Pillowhands on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lightbeer scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Lightbeer throws a low kick but it's checked well by Pillowhands.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Buzz Lightbeer showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Lightbeer misses with a hook. Pillowhands ducked under it nicely.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Lightbeer throws a low kick, looking for Pillowhands's leg but Pillowhands calmly moves out of range.
Pillowhands tries to counter with a takedown but Lightbeer is quick to defend against it.
Lightbeer scores with a head kick.
Lightbeer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Pillowhands checks the leg kick.
Pillowhands changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Lightbeer looks for the body kick but Pillowhands saw that one coming.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A swing and a miss from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands changes levels looking for a counter takedown but doesn't commit.
Lightbeer throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Lightbeer tries to land a leg kick but Pillowhands saw it coming and moves away.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Pillowhands feinted with a counter takedown.
Lightbeer is looking to slow Pillowhands down with leg kicks.
Pillowhands takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Pillowhands slips a jab from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands slips a jab from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Lightbeer.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
Lightbeer throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
Lightbeer fakes the leg kick and cracks Pillowhands in the body.
Douche Pillowhands has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A head kick misses from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Pillowhands avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Pillowhands drops down looking for a counter takedown but Lightbeer sprawls and moves away.
Lightbeer throws a quick inside leg kick.
Nice shot lands for Lightbeer.
Lightbeer throws a front kick aimed at Pillowhands's knee but Pillowhands avoids it well.
Lightbeer throws a leg kick but Pillowhands sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Lightbeer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Pillowhands attempts a counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it well and moves away.
Pillowhands is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Pillowhands sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Pillowhands feinted with a counter takedown.
Lightbeer works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Pillowhands keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands feinted with a counter takedown.
Lightbeer tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Lightbeer throws a lazy right hand but Pillowhands sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Pillowhands avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Pillowhands appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Pillowhands moves out of range as Lightbeer strikes.
Pillowhands tries to counter with a takedown but Lightbeer is quick to defend against it.
Lightbeer throws a jab but it's blocked by Pillowhands.
Pillowhands feinted with a counter takedown.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Pillowhands has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Pillowhands there as he acknowledges the shot.
Lightbeer swings for the body but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Pillowhands half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Lightbeer swings for the body but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Lightbeer ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Lightbeer throws a sloppy head kick and Pillowhands moves out of range easily.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lightbeer connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
The fighters circle momentarily. Lightbeer darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.

And that's the end of the fight!
Buzz Lightbeer comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Lightbeer winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 26:30
Judge Stewart Dunkirk scores the fight 26:30
Judge Cecil Peabody scores the fight 26:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Buzz Lightbeer!
Buzz Lightbeer bigged himself up after the win. The crowd seemed to love it.
Douche Pillowhands spoke after the fight, saying 'I'm not sure where to go from here? Do I keep fighting?'.