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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jose Paulo Castanha (ranked 5485 p4p, 0 weight class) and my Penis (ranked 5820 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.
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| 200 cm
18
200 lbs
0 - 0 - 0 |
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190 cm
25
212 lbs
0 - 0 - 0 |
BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Granite chin |
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Good takedowns
Excellent boxer
Solid chin |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jose Paulo Castanha!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, my Penis!
The judges for this bout are Arvi Lind, Marco Blurström and Matti Vanhoillinen.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Castanha shoots for a double leg takedown but Penis sprawls well. He's pushed Castanha's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Penis is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Castanha with a body shot.
Penis lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Castanha circles away quickly and effectively.
Castanha takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
An inside leg kick lands from Penis.
Castanha gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
letting Penis counter with a right hand.
Penis misses with the combination.
Castanha tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Penis defends well and Castanha ends up having to push Penis into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Jose Paulo Castanha. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Penis lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Castanha shoots in and drives through. Penis sprawls well.
Penis lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Penis connects with a body shot that sends Castanha's belly button to the back.
Castanha shoots in but Penis avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Penis throws a right and a left that both miss.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Penis listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Penis misses with a double jab.
Castanha appears to be looking for a big counter.
Penis cracks a nice hook into Castanha's ribs.
Penis throws a leg kick which misses Castanha's front leg but catches the back leg as Castanha tries to avoid it.
Castanha tries to clinch there but Penis circles away.
Penis ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Castanha moves away.
Penis throws a series of strikes that have Castanha backpedaling.
It looks like Jose Paulo Castanha has been cut.
Penis bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Castanha's head backwards.
Penis connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Castanha is rocked!
Castanha is breathing heavily.
Penis lands with a good body shot.
Oh Castanha is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Castanha ducks into an uppercut from Penis and that's knocked him out cold! This one is all over!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:47 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). my Penis!
In his post fight interview, my Penis gave a big smile as he said 'i want your kids'.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
61% |
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