PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Lardo Humpinator (ranked 4781 p4p, 0 weight class) and Thanos Eternal (ranked 5390 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Humpinator
vs
Eternal

190 cm
25
291 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

150 cm
25
300 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

Good takedowns
Basic striking
Very quick

Good wrestler
Brawler
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Lardo Humpinator!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Thanos Eternal!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Bart Greer and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Eternal tries to clinch but Humpinator is having none of it.

Eternal gets caught flat footed, as Humpinator shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.

Humpinator is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
Humpinator trying to control the position from guard on top but Eternal is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Humpinator engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Humpinator's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Humpinator seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Eternal for as long as he can get away with.
Humpinator stands and throws Eternal's legs to the side, diving into side control.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Humpinator wants to control but Eternal is keeping him busy.
Humpinator really is a fat lump.

Humpinator looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.

Humpinator wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Eternal, who protects the arm well.
Eternal can't do much from the bottom here.

Humpinator is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Eternal knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.
Eternal is looking to reverse the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Eternal can't do much from the bottom here.

Humpinator looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

Humpinator has hold of Eternal's arm here. He's working for an Americana. It looks like he might have it! Eternal tries to escape but he's just digging himself in deeper - Humpinator cranks the arm and Eternal screams in pain! The ref makes a decision and ends the fight before the tap - no complains from Eternal, who is just happy to have his arm attached to his body.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:46 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Lardo Humpinator!