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CACC 64 PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1772 p4p, 221 weight class) and Joe Average (ranked 1912 p4p, 230 weight class). There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.
This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 12 wins and 10 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of New York, with a TWGC record of 6 wins and 2 losses; Joe Average!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.
Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?
Average shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Average was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure! Score +4 for clean takedown past guard: Dickweed (0) vs (4) Average
Average just content to control the position.
Average working away.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed's coaches at Hey Steves Fight Shack have been working on his defensive grappling in preparation for this fight so let's see if he can get out of this tricky position.
Average controls the position.
Dickweed is looking to regain half guard here but Average keeps moving and retains side control.
Dickweed manages to get back to half guard.
Average is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Dickweed has managed to free his arm - good work.
Dickweed wants to control but Average is keeping busy and won't allow it.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Average seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Dickweed controlling the position well.
Average tries to pass the half guard into mount. Dickweed knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Average has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount. Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (7) Average
Average trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Average pushing the pace here, looking to move to his opponents back and work for a finish.
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Average fails to move to back control.
Dickweed working to try and regain half guard.
Dickweed sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to improve his position but Average is controlling well.
Average wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Average keeps him under control.
Average uses his free foot to push down on Dickweed's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Dickweed. Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (10) Average
Dickweed defends a decent attempt at a guillotine from Average.
Dickweed is squirming around, avoiding Average's attempts to control the action.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Average might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Dickweed haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Average takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Dickweed is controlling an arm, preventing Average from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Average wants to finish this one by submission but Dickweed is holding onto his waist, trying to prevent any attacks from Average.
Average tries to control but Dickweed wriggling away.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Average prevents Dickweed from getting the reversal.
Average avoids the attempt from Dickweed to control.
Dickweed is trying to escape the mount but Average keeps good control and instead manages to take Dickweed's back.
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (0) vs (13) Average
I would not like to be Dickweed right now.
Dickweed looks to control his opponent's hands but he's not mananging it at the moment.
Average trying to control.
That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to break free.
Dickweed just looking to survive in the bad position.
Our spies down at at ^Blood&Guts^ inform us that Average has really been working on his submissions in the buildup to this fight. Will it pay off?
Average is not going to allow Dickweed to sit and survive in this position.
Dickweed can't escape the position.
Will Average go for the finish here or will he try and keep control of the position?
Dickweed tries to escape the position.
Average tries to get the hooks in deep but Dickweed pushed the leg off.
Average seems to be going for a rear naked choke. He has an arm under Dickweed's chin but Dickweed turns very nicely into Average's guard. Good BJJ skills being displayed there by Dickweed.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (13) Average
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Average is retaining full guard.
That's six minutes gone in the round.
Average tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Dickweed forces his way into half guard.
Dickweed wants to control but Average is keeping him busy.
Average is looking to improve his position.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Average tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.
That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Average manages to get to full guard.
Dickweed advances to half guard.
Dickweed is looking to stall here but Average recovers full guard.
Average is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Average is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.
That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Average is looking to sweep but instead, Dickweed has passed into half guard.
Dickweed wants to control but Average is keeping him busy.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Dickweed in particular looking to stall.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Average wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy.
Average is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Dickweed performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Average is trying to control but can't.
Average is trying to avoid being dragged into an even worse position than he's already in but Dickweed is staying active.
Dickweed seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Dickweed trying to control from half guard but Average is working away.
That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to advance to full mount but Average doesn't think that's going to happen and regains full guard instead.
Average working for a triangle but Dickweed defends it easily.
Average wants to sweep but no luck.
Average keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Average has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Average is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Dickweed is aware though and is defending well.
Dickweed is pushing down on Average's leg trying to pass to half guard. Average is fighting to maintain full guard but Dickweed has managed to sneak the leg through.
Average is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Dickweed's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Dickweed's back! Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (2) vs (17) Average
Average is hanging on to Dickweed's back as he tries to escape.
Average really has the hooks in deep now - there seems like no escape for Dickweed.
Dickweed turns into Average and is now in his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (17) Average
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed got a little sloppy there for a moment and Average has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Dickweed has managed to get both his arms back between Average's legs - danger averted.
Average throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Dickweed controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Dickweed seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Average for as long as he can get away with.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Average is keeping the position.
Dickweed content to stall in guard here.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Average keeps moving.
Dickweed postures up.
Average is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Average is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to control but Average is working from the bottom.
Average is trying to keep Dickweed in close.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Average holds on and takes a little breather.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed slips nicely into half guard.
And that's the end of the fight!
Average wins on points by 17 to 4.
After the big win, Joe Average made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing and telling the interviewer how much he loves him. |
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