PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Doug Slugs (ranked 394 p4p, 381 weight class) and Massive Wanker (ranked 20 p4p, 19 weight class). Massive Wanker will no doubt be trying to keep this one on the feet, where he has a distinct advantage.

Slugs
vs
Wanker

182 cm
28
300
9 - 1 - 0

225 cm
22
294
8 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Threads of HARDCORE

Urban Fighter
Brooklyn Apothecary

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Doug Slugs!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
The judges for this bout are Alyssa Summers, John Roberts and Eddie Farnsworth.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Slugs fails with an attempt to clinch.
The fight stays on the outside here - Slugs looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Slugs ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Wanker moves away.

Slugs closes the distance and clinches.
Slugs stops a takedown attempt from Wanker.
Wanker tries to pull guard but Slugs won't allow it.
Wanker lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Slugs blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Slugs lands a nice elbow.
Wanker dodges an elbow strike from Slugs.
Slugs lands an elbow inside that Wanker shrugs off.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wanker lands a body punch.
Wanker avoids the elbow strike from Slugs, against the cage.
Wanker lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Wanker misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Slugs pushes off an throws an elbow but Wanker leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Slugs lands an elbow inside.

It looks like Massive Wanker has been cut.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Wanker misses with a hook from the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Wanker manages to break the clinch.
Slugs definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.

Slugs clinches with his opponent.
Wanker takes an elbow to the temple.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike.
Slugs tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.

Wanker's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
A punch lands to the side of Wanker 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Slugs swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Wanker throws out a counter right but Slugs avoids it with no problem.
Wanker lands with a nice body punch.

Slugs moves into range and clinches up with Wanker.
Slugs tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.
Wanker jumps guard but Slugs stands there with Wanker around his waist. Wanker gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Doug Slugs has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Massive Wanker.

Wanker's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.

Slugs clinches up against the cage.
Slugs throws a knee to the head but misses.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Wanker throws a head punch that misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker wants a takedown but no success here.
Slugs lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Wanker tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Slugs just stands there and leans against the cage.
Slugs blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Wanker softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Slugs throws a knee to the head but misses.
Slugs trying to land knees to the body.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike from Slugs.
Slugs trying to land knees to the body.
A short right from Wanker on the inside.
Wanker lands a right hand that snaps the head of Slugs backwards.
Wanker lands with a right to the head.
Slugs throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Wanker lands a hook that snaps the head of Slugs backwards.
Slugs blocks an uppercut.

Wanker breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Wanker looks to land a left hand but Slugs moved out of range nicely.
Wanker throws a series of punches but Slugs moves out of range.
Wanker looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Slugs takes a body punch but keeps moving.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Slugs gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Slugs tries a knee to the head but Wanker blocks it.
Wanker misses with some punches.

Wanker decides to pull guard.

Wanker looking to try and escape his hips here, looking for a submission. It looks like he's going for a triangle but Slugs is defending well. Wanker quickly switches to an armbar and extends the arm! Slugs has no choice but to tap, to a very quick submission! Wow, that was lightning fast! Wanker celebrates on the cage, with the crowd.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:35 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Massive Wanker!
Massive Wanker is the new super heavyweight champion!
Massive Wanker thanked the fans post fight for their support.