2020-12-04
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Edition: #386
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Simard: A rags to riches to future porn star story.

Fighter profile of Cedric Simard by Alex K.

Home town: Gay Paree (Paris to you heathens) 

 

Age: 25 

 

Weight: Fat 

cont...

Ziggy Who?

Fighter profile of Ziggy Ozbourne by Andrew Wittig

 Ziggy?  Who is Ziggy?  Many of you have asked this question when you saw him listed on a fight card, or perhaps now as you read this article.  Who the hell is Ziggy Ozbourne?  Is that one of Ozzy's kids?  Did the chick decide to identify as a dude?  No, thankfully not that.  Ziggy may have ties to the Ozbournes of rock, but none that he has ever admitted publicly.

  Ziggy's childhood was uneventful, to say the least.  He grew up in a split home after his parents divorced before his first birthday.  Ziggy lived with his mother, his father a cop who lived but a few miles away never seemed to want to have anything to do with Ziggy, and after a while, Ziggy didn't mind.  He instead focused his energies on football.   In middle school, Ziggy was one of the smallest kids to try out for the team.  The coaches took him for a joke but let him try out with the squad and were pleasantly surprised at his instincts.  Ziggy had a way of always getting open, his agility and
cont... 

Keith Kenneth Ferkingstad Inks Recording Deal With Universal

Fighter profile of Keith Kenneth Ferkingstad by Freako Wimp

Hey guys, Keith Kenneth here.

After releasing my hit single 'Sweet Patricia' to rave reviews, I've kept my nose to the grindstone. As it's been impossible to get a fight lately, mainly due to Paddy Mcgillicutty having emergency surgery after he started explosively excreting pus from his mangina like some kind of plague volcano, I've focused on my music. Today, I am happy to announce that my first album, "Rear Naked Renegade", has been picked up by a major label. I look forward to share more of my particular brand of outlaw country with my hordes of faithful fans.

I'm not yet ready to release any of my singles, but I'll drop some of the track names as a teaser. Enjoy.

Bungalow Boogaloo

Rather be a Farmer

Paddy's Pus-plagued Pussy

Backroad Blues

Duel at Dawn
 

 

Hard Focus on Joao Andrade

Fighter profile of Joao Andrade by J. W. Hardman

Not many elite fighters arise from Portugal in the world of MMA.  There are some exceptions, and there are some who represent the country with pride and are trying to put Portugal on the map.  Hailing from Coimbra, Joao Andrade is one such fighter.

As a young scrapper fighting in the streets, Andrade was discovered by legendary manager Jake Fury who took a shine to the kid and brought him into camp Fury.  He learned quickly, honing his skills and becoming a striking machine.  Under the tutelage of Fury, after a sparring loss in the QFC, Andrade went on a tear within the Madness organization and rode a 7 fight winning streak to the belt with a win over Mohammed Kahn.  In fact, the only fighter in the world to have defeated Khan.  Unfortunately, Andrade later defended the belt against Kahn in a draw, and then the 3rd time around Kahn finally go the win taking the belt in the final fight Andrade would fight at Madness.  

  Andrade then joined the HFC in part of a me
cont...  

Generational Man

Fighter profile of Yip Man Iii by J. W. Hardman

Yip is the third generation of martial arts masters within his family.  His great grandfather, grandmaster Wu-Chi Yip was rumored to piss flakes of gold in his first urine of the day after waking up.  His wife would sometimes have flakes of gold stuck to her teeth, becoming the first to start a trend that would take the world by storm many years down the road.  Modern day, you see gold teeth everywhere.


His grandfather, Gon-Gi Man was a legend in his own kingdom, having once saved a burning cat from a cherry blossom tree in a rain storm.  Neighbors stared in awe at the heroic bravery and flexibility displayed by the man, so flexible was he that even the gods cried in jealousy at his gift, hence the rain.  Fire fighters in modern day still try to re-create that event, saving cats from trees and making rain from their giant hoses.  But they are not gods, well, maybe to some middle aged scrap bookers and poster collectors, but cougars are beside the point.   cont...  

Thanksgiving at HFC

HARDCORE 350k+, Fight Organization, New York
Company profile by J. W. Hardman

HFC owner J.W. Hardman decided to throw a Thanksgiving party at the HFC Headquarters in New York.  It was a public invitation but he strongly suggested a showing from all division champions and a few select contenders.  It is rumored that a 5k check was slipped to each of the personally invited fighters.  Unfortunately, we were unable to confirm those rumors.


The party started at 5pm, in part so that J.W. didn't have to hear a stream of bitching from anyone hungover from the after party life, but in truth, the real reason was his Texans were making an appearance against the Lions, and despite the Texans being in terrible shape this year, he was looking forward to their first 2-game winning streak of the season.

At 4:48 the first buzz came from the s
cont...  

Sucker Punch Pro Series 25 - Event Review

Event Review: Sucker Punch Pro Series 25
Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+
2020-11-25, Sydney, Schooners Bar
Attendance:7,000, Event Rating:131
Author:Hare Rumpler

Hello Sucker Punch fans and Happy Thanksgiving to all of our States peeps! 


For the rest, happy beginning of the holiday season!  As always, I’m Hare Rumpler along with my partner and analyst Donkey “Dan” and we’re ready to take a look back at all the action the other night from Sucker Punch Pro Series 25!


No belts were on the line but that didn’t stop the action from being exciting and intense!  Plenty on the line for those who were fighting, be it positioning for Top Contendership, moving up the ladder in the Top 10, or simply trying to improve current streaks or break losing ones and get back on the right path.  I’m not going to waste much time here, as I want to get into this, get moving through it, and then get to the Turkey here at the Rumpler household!


The review is up here now!  Enjoy folks!


http://www.mmatycoon.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=65096&p=935785

 

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