PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Lazy Bastard (ranked 1025 p4p, 1960 weight class) and Sheev Palpatine (ranked 132 p4p, 241 weight class). Palpatine is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: I am the Senate. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Bastard
vs
Palpatine

190 cm
32
162
28 - 24 - 1

176 cm
34
160
12 - 11 - 2

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Altitude Clothing
Sydney Fight Gear

Distinct Label

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 24 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Lazy Bastard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 11 - 2, fighting out of Las Vegas, Sheev Palpatine!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Frank Antenori and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bastard misses with a straight left.
Palpatine lands a jab.
Bastard lands a jab to the nose.
A jab from Bastard misses.
Palpatine dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Bastard. That did some damage!
Nice shot lands for Bastard.
Bastard misses with a body punch
and Palpatine counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Bastard throws a series of strikes that have Palpatine backpedaling.
Bastard swings for the body but Palpatine moves out of range.
Palpatine only half commits to the counter leg kick.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A telegraphed right hand from Bastard misses the target.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Palpatine stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Bastard throws a hook to the side of Palpatine's head but Palpatine sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Palpatine throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Bastard stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Bastard with a hook.
Bastard swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Bastard really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Good exchange - Bastard coming out on top.
We've been informed that Palpatine has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Good shot there by Palpatine.
Bastard misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Palpatine waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Bastard.
Bastard misses with an uppercut
and Palpatine counters with a left and a right that stings Bastard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Palpatine throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bastard sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Palpatine swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Good leg kick by Palpatine.
Palpatine looks to land a right hand but Bastard moved out of range.
Bastard throws the left hand but Palpatine avoids the punch easily.
Bastard swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
A jab from Bastard does it's job there.
Palpatine connects with a body shot that sends Bastard's belly button to the back.
Palpatine steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Bastard.
Palpatine on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Palpatine slips a straight right by Bastard.
Bastard misses with a combination
and Palpatine counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Palpatine jabs at Bastard's body.
Nice defenses there by Palpatine.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Palpatine scores with a hook.
Palpatine misses with a straight left.
Bastard throws a nice looking combination but Palpatine bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Thud! ouch! good body kick from Palpatine - that will leave a mark!
Bastard waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Palpatine.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bastard ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Bastard swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Palpatine counters with a body kick that stops Bastard in his tracks momentarily.
Bastard takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Palpatine uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Bastard.
Bastard moves out of range of the strikes.
Bastard swinging wildly here.
The crowd cheers as Palpatine lands an impressive looking overhand right. Bastard doesn't seem phased though.
Palpatine catches Bastard with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Bastard stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Palpatine.
Bastard throws a nice looking combination but Palpatine bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Bastard doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Palpatine bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Bastard throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Palpatine on the side of the head.
Bastard takes a shot right to the bread basket.
A punch combination from Palpatine misses.
Bastard misses with a looping right.
Palpatine does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Bastard uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Palpatine.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bastard swinging wildly here.
Bastard throws a right hand that misses
and Bastard takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Bastard misses with a series of wild punches.
Bastard takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Palpatine lands a nice shot to the body.
Palpatine takes a swing at Bastard's ribcage but misses.
Palpatine looks to throw the jab but Bastard is out of range.
Bastard throws the left hand but Palpatine avoids the punch easily.
Lazy Bastard seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Palpatine cracks Bastard with an open hand slap.
Palpatine avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Palpatine on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Palpatine walks into a straight right hand from Bastard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A combination from Bastard does no damage.
A good leg kick by Palpatine.
Bastard swings for the body but Palpatine moves out of range.
Palpatine closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Bastard fails to land with a series of punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Palpatine throws a jab but it's blocked by Bastard.
Bastard stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Palpatine.
Palpatine throws a jab when Bastard was well out of range.
It's a brutal combination of punches from Bastard! Palpatine is backing up but he can't get away as Bastard lands with one final shot to the jaw that drops Palpatine and ends the fight. Great knockout.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:18 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punches). Lazy Bastard!
A loyal slave to those sponsorship dollars, Lazy Bastard made sure he mentioned Altitude Clothing, along with how happy he was to win his fight.
The defeated Sheev Palpatine had this to say: 'Unlimited POOOWWWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!'.