PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Yeti Baguetti (ranked 6407 p4p, 6936 weight class) and Oscar De La Cunt (ranked 645 p4p, 680 weight class). Baguetti comes to the cage accompanied by HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA. Yeti Baguetti had real problems making weight for this fight. After initially coming in at 171.5lbs, he had two hours to make the official fight weight. He made it but it will have taken a lot out of him to cut those extra few pounds. Yeti Baguetti could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Oscar De La Cunt's chin.

Baguetti
vs
De La Cunt

185 cm
25
180
0 - 1 - 0

150 cm
21
181
0 - 1 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid boxing
Self confident

BJJ White Belt
Brawler
Likes musicals

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Yeti Baguetti !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Oscar De La Cunt!
The judges for this bout are Micheangelo Fripello, Jeff Smith and Chris Saunders.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

De La Cunt gets a takedown into half guard.
De La Cunt is trying to control. Baguetti wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.

De La Cunt postures up and decides to stand up, from the half guard. The ref calls for Baguetti to stand up.
Baguetti lands with an uppercut that bounces De La Cunt off the cage and back into range.

De La Cunt rushes Baguetti and presses him up against the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Baguetti tightens his grip and picks De La Cunt up, before dumping him to the ground. De La Cunt manages to land in guard.
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - De La Cunt has eaten all the pies!
Baguetti looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
De La Cunt has a closed guard, preventing Baguetti from standing up.

That's one minute gone in the round.

De La Cunt is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Baguetti is aware though and is defending well.
De La Cunt is trying to control the position but Baguetti postures up.
Baguetti wants to get up but he can't break De La Cunt's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.

Baguetti stands up from guard. Let's bang!
Baguetti shoots for a takedown but De La Cunt saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
De La Cunt doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
De La Cunt tries to close the distance and clinch up but Baguetti swats him away and circles back towards the center.

Baguetti dives in and scores a takedown into De La Cunt's guard.
Baguetti is breathing heavily.
Baguetti working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
De La Cunt seems keen to control Baguetti 's posture.

De La Cunt is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Baguetti is aware though and is defending well.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
De La Cunt trying to strike off his back.
Baguetti stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. De La Cunt swivels though and keeps the full guard.
De La Cunt wants to sweep here but Baguetti controlling him for the moment.
Baguetti postures up.
De La Cunt has his hands on Baguetti 's head, controlling the position.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Baguetti shoots in looking for a takedown. De La Cunt tries to sprawl out of it but Baguetti keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. De La Cunt manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Baguetti moves out of the way of the counter high kick fromDe La Cunt.
Baguetti throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Baguetti shoots in but no luck this time.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Yeti Baguetti . That's going to take a lot out of him.

De La Cunt closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
Baguetti is looking to get back to his feet here but De La Cunt is keeping cool and he's managed to take Baguetti 's back.
Baguetti trying to control but he's just got himself in more trouble.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

De La Cunt has his opponent's back and is working for the choke.
What can Baguetti do to escape this position? He's going to have to figure it out pretty quick if he wants to stay in the fight!

Baguetti defends a rear naked choke attempt by controlling one of De La Cunt's arms.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.

De La Cunt working for the choke.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Oscar De La Cunt will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

De La Cunt tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Baguetti throws a body shot but no joy.
Baguetti is looking to clinch.
Nice takedown defense from De La Cunt. No joy for Baguetti on that attempt.
Baguetti shoots in for a takedown but De La Cunt shows good takedown defense.
De La Cunt throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Baguetti displaying good standup as he scores with a three punch combination.
De La Cunt tries to clinch there but Baguetti circles away.

Baguetti tries to keep at a distance but De La Cunt has taken the fight into the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A body shot lands from De La Cunt.

De La Cunt breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.

De La Cunt decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.

Baguetti manages to create a bit of space in order to work his way back to his feet. De La Cunt keeps hold of his opponent and drives him back against the cage.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Baguetti breaks the clinch.
Some wild striking there from Baguetti .

De La Cunt closes the distance and clinches.
De La Cunt is trying to break the clinch but Baguetti is controlling him.
Baguetti is trying to pull guard but De La Cunt has him pressed against the cage.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Yeti Baguetti . That's going to take a lot out of him.

De La Cunt pulls Baguetti into guard.
De La Cunt has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
Baguetti won't allow De La Cunt to sweep him here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Baguetti accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Baguetti scores with a decent looking elbow strike.

De La Cunt looking for a guillotine here but Baguetti defends easily.
Baguetti pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. De La Cunt is keeping the position for now.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
De La Cunt is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Baguetti is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
Baguetti is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Baguetti preventing the sweep.
Baguetti trying to control but De La Cunt is working from the bottom.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Baguetti fails with a takedown attempt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
No luck for Baguetti with that takedown attempt.
De La Cunt fails in his attempt to clinch.
Baguetti shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. De La Cunt defends it nicely.
Yeti Baguetti is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.

Baguetti gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.
De La Cunt is standing up over Baguetti . Baguetti looks to escape but De La Cunt dives into side control.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Oscar De La Cunt showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

De La Cunt shoots in for a double leg but Baguetti sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Baguetti fails with a takedown attempt.
De La Cunt showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Baguetti .
A shot to the body from Baguetti misses
and De La Cunt counters with a one-two to the body.

De La Cunt closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Baguetti to the mat! Baguetti manages to get full guard.
De La Cunt stands and throws Baguetti 's legs to the side, diving into side control.
De La Cunt wants to control but Baguetti is keeping him busy.

De La Cunt tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no De La Cunt has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Baguetti is not content to let De La Cunt control the position.

De La Cunt stands up and beckons Baguetti to his feet.

De La Cunt gets taken down but at least he's managed to land in guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
De La Cunt is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Baguetti trying to control but De La Cunt is working from the bottom.
De La Cunt doesn't do any damage with a couple of strikes from the bottom.
Baguetti won't allow De La Cunt to get back to his feet.
De La Cunt is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Baguetti slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

De La Cunt working for submissions but it's allowed Baguetti to get to half guard.
Baguetti trying to control the action but De La Cunt is working from the bottom.
De La Cunt wants to control but Baguetti is keeping busy and won't allow it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
De La Cunt is refusing to be controlled, as Baguetti sits in half guard.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Baguetti shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says De La Cunt as he avoids it easily.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by De La Cunt!

De La Cunt shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. Baguetti manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage.
De La Cunt postures up.
De La Cunt wants to control from the top but Baguetti keeps moving.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
De La Cunt preventing the sweep.

And that's the end of the fight!
Oscar De La Cunt comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well De La Cunt has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Micheangelo Fripello scores the fight 27:30
Judge Jeff Smith scores the fight 27:30
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Oscar De La Cunt!
The defeated Yeti Baguetti had this to say: 'I hurt my foreskin in camp but ill come back stronger'.