PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Yeti Baguetti (ranked 25719 p4p, 7616 weight class) and Oscar De La Cunt (ranked 755 p4p, 692 weight class). Baguetti 's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA. Yeti Baguetti could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Oscar De La Cunt's chin.

Baguetti
vs
De La Cunt

185 cm
25
177
0 - 2 - 0

150 cm
21
181
1 - 2 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid boxing
Self confident

BJJ White Belt
Brawler
Likes musicals

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Yeti Baguetti !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Oscar De La Cunt!
The judges for this bout are Ryoma Takatsuka, Micheangelo Fripello and Roger Salmon.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

De La Cunt feints and as Baguetti raises his hands in defense, De La Cunt changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
Baguetti is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Baguetti trying to keep a closed guard but De La Cunt is proving a slippery customer.
De La Cunt won't allow Baguetti to sweep him here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
De La Cunt throwing strikes but missing.
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - De La Cunt has eaten all the pies!
De La Cunt trying to stand up but can't free himself from Baguetti 's guard.
The referee is pacing around the two fighters, thinking about a standup.
De La Cunt's corner is telling him to maintain position.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Baguetti tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and De La Cunt counters with a left to the body.

Baguetti gets caught napping as De La Cunt dives in and scores a takedown. Baguetti manages to retain guard.

Baguetti throws his legs up looking for a submission but De La Cunt uses it to pass to side control.

De La Cunt decides to stand up, so the ref orders Baguetti to his feet.
De La Cunt shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Baguetti as he avoids it easily.
De La Cunt misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Baguetti fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches De La Cunt on the side of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Baguetti shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. De La Cunt manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage.

De La Cunt wriggles free and stands up.
This has been an exciting period of action!
De La Cunt shoots in looking for a takedown. Baguetti tries to sprawl out of it but De La Cunt keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Baguetti manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Yeti Baguetti has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Oscar De La Cunt.
Baguetti takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Baguetti .

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Baguetti with the inside leg kick.
Baguetti fails with a takedown attempt.
A countering left hand to the body from De La Cunt misses.
Baguetti fails with the takedown.
De La Cunt throws a body punch but Baguetti moves out of range.
Baguetti is trying hard to land a takedown here. De La Cunt sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.

De La Cunt scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
Baguetti bucks up and tries to throw De La Cunt off but instead De La Cunt has got his back!
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Baguetti just trying to survive but De La Cunt is wriggling into a better position, looking to finish.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
De La Cunt has good solid back control here.

De La Cunt is cranking Baguetti 's head sideways - that looks painful. He's managed to get his other arm under the chin and this looks bad for Baguetti ! He's tightened the choke and Baguetti is tapping out!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:31 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Oscar De La Cunt!
Yeti Baguetti spoke after the fight, saying 'I hurt my foreskin in camp but ill come back stronger'.