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PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Kai Raymaker (ranked 7280 p4p, 2056 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 551 p4p, 0 weight class). Raymaker kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Key Glock - Mr.Glock. Kai Raymaker has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

196 cm
30
225
12 - 5 - 2
175 cm
36
225
9 - 1 - 0
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible
BJJ Red Belt
Counter fighter
Good gas tank

TRAP A-LOT
Threads of HARDCORE

-


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 2, fighting out of Montreal, Kai Raymaker!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Ian Loll, Trevor Gratis and Dillan Fox.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
We've got one fighter who appears to only be looking to counter and the other not looking particularly aggressive either, so we could be in for a dull fight.
Raymaker slaps away a takedown attempt from Dickweed, before circling back to the center of the mat.

Dickweed changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Raymaker looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
Dickweed just content to control the position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Raymaker knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Dickweed on the ground.

Dickweed thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed is pausing for a moment. What's he doing? It looks like he's clearing his nose. Oh dude! He's shot a load of snot all down Raymaker's shoulder. That is not cool.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Raymaker is working away.
Raymaker wants to get back to his feet but Dickweed drags him back down.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Raymaker prevents Dickweed from moving into mount.

Dickweed tries for a kimura but Raymaker is defending well.
Raymaker is being controlled here.

Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Dickweed tries to cartwheel into mount but he doesn't manage it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control but Raymaker is keeping him busy.
Dickweed tries to cartwheel into mount but he doesn't manage it.
Dickweed remains in side control and seems content to stay there. It's a versatile position from which he can work both strikes and submissions, whilst maintaining that control, so maybe he'll sit here for a while.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.

Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but can't.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed trying to control the action but Raymaker is working from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Professor Dickweed dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.


Dickweed closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Raymaker's guard.
Dickweed slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Professor Dickweed has got the better of the ground game so far.
Dickweed laying and praying for a moment but Raymaker takes advantage and regains half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Raymaker looks like he's trying to stand up.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Raymaker sees it coming and defends easily.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Raymaker is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Dickweed looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Raymaker on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Raymaker tries to get out of the position.
Dickweed prevents Raymaker from standing back up.
Dickweed works his way into full mount!
Raymaker stops Dickweed from taking his back. Still, being mounted isn't any better.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed goes for an armbar but he's not got it… Raymaker turns into him and now he's in Dickweed's guard.
Raymaker will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Dickweed is on top in guard.

Dickweed stands and throws Raymaker's legs to the side, diving into side control.

Dickweed looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control but Raymaker is keeping him busy.
Dickweed controls the position.

Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Raymaker is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Dickweed has just dragged him back down to the mat.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but Raymaker denies him.
Raymaker is not content to let Dickweed control the position.
Raymaker is trying to buck Dickweed off.

Dickweed is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Raymaker has escaped the position, nice work there.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Professor Dickweed showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!


Dickweed closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed taking a breather here.

Dickweed tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Dickweed is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Raymaker is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
A lull in the action here.
Raymaker is working hard to escape and get back to his feet. After a battle for position, Dickweed asserts his dominance and retains side control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Dickweed controlling the position.

Dickweed tries for a kimura but Raymaker is defending well.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Raymaker is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Dickweed has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Raymaker wants to get back to his feet.
Dickweed has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
You can see the frustration on Raymaker's face as Dickweed controls the position.
Kai Raymaker has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Dickweed tries for a kimura but Raymaker is defending well.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Raymaker is working from the bottom.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but can't.

And that's the end of the fight!
Professor Dickweed comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Dickweed winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Ian Loll scores the fight 27:30
Judge Trevor Gratis scores the fight 27:30
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Professor Dickweed!

A relieved looking Professor Dickweed thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
The defeated Kai Raymaker had this to say: 'retire i will'.
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
20%
 
 
 
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