PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Crotch Grabber (ranked 73 p4p, 231 weight class) and Gorgon Zola (ranked 4 p4p, 9 weight class). Grabber's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Side to Side. Zola is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by For Heavy Metal we will die!. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Grabber
vs
Zola

207 cm
35
275
38 - 9 - 0

193 cm
39
267
18 - 16 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

PWNAGE
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Voodoo Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 38 - 9 - 0, fighting out of London, Crotch Grabber!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 16 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Gorgon Zola!
The judges for this bout are Donald Grub, James Glass and Steven Brown.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Zola avoids the head kick by Grabber.
Zola throws a poor cross that misses
and Grabber counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Zola swinging wildly here.
Zola thows a left - swing and a miss!
Zola walks into a stiff left hand from Grabber.
Grabber fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Zola looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Grabber moves out of range of the strikes.
Grabber ducks right into an uppercut from Zola.
A lazy left from Grabber finds it's target.
The fighters circling - Grabber throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Zola drops his hands momentarily and Grabber takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Grabber throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Zola uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Grabber.
Grabber avoids the body shot from Zola.
Grabber is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Grabber throws an overhand right that lands on Zola's shoulder, as Zola tries to avoid the shot.
Zola misses the jab.
Zola throws a nice looking combination but Grabber bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Zola uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Grabber.
Grabber throws an off balance right hand
and Zola counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Zola with a jab.
Grabber throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Zola sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Grabber misses with a looping right.
A big left from Zola misses.
Zola ducks under a wild hook from Grabber.
Zola lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
Grabber closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Zola connects with a nice looking jab.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Grabber dips down and scores with a jab to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zola throws a series of punches but Grabber avoids them all with ease.
Zola misses with a shot to the body
and Grabber counters with a big head kick but Zola shrugs it off.
Zola moves away from the strike by Grabber.
Grabber comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Zola looks winded!
Grabber with a hook.
Zola misses with an uppercut.
Zola moves out of range as Grabber strikes.
Grabber fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
A combination from Zola does no damage.
A little feinted left hand from Grabber on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Grabber with a nice cross.
Zola on the wrong end of a nice jab.

It looks like Gorgon Zola has been cut.

Grabber feints and then winds up with a huge right hand that connects perfectly and sends Zola sprawling to the canvas! Zola rolls over backwards and springs off the cage and manages to regain his footing - how acrobatic! Oh, he's still wobbly - can Grabber finish him?!

Zola is rocked!
Grabber throws a looping overhand right but Zola ducks down to avoid it.

Grabber lands a big right hand that sends Zola crashing to the mat! Grabber stays standing though and waves Zola back to his feet!
Zola is still on wobbly legs! Can Grabber finish him?

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Grabber swats away the attempt to clinch by Zola.
Zola seems to have recovered his senses.
Gorgon Zola seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Zola has Grabber up against the cage in a clinch.
Grabber lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Zola wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Grabber misses with a short punch on the inside.
I was talking to Grabber's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Zola gets through Grabber's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Grabber pushes Zola back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Nice body punch from Grabber - that landed with a thud.
Grabber lands a body punch in the clinch.
Zola stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Grabber tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Zola's elbow.
Grabber misses with a punch to the body.
Grabber lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Grabber blocking some punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Grabber lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Grabber keeps control of Zola as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Grabber tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Zola's elbow.
Grabber lands a body shot.
Grabber works on Zola's body with a couple of short punches.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A short uppercut from Grabber.
Zola prevents a body shot from Grabber.
Grabber tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
A hook to the body from Grabber.
Zola fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Zola is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Grabber throws a head punch that misses.
A short right from Grabber on the inside.
A short right from Zola on the inside.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
A short left from Grabber.
A head punch on the inside from Zola fails to land.
Zola digs a right hand into Grabber's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Grabber's gas tank.
Zola trying to stall but Grabber improves his position.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Crotch Grabber dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Gorgon Zola's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Grabber cracks Zola with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Grabber moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.

Grabber cracks Zola with a big right hand that sends him crashing to the floor. Grabber has the opportunity to follow him to the ground but instead he's beckoning Zola to stand back up!
Zola throws a left and a right that both miss
and Grabber counters with a right hand from hell and Zola is out cold! A vicious knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:18 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Crotch Grabber!
Crotch Grabber took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing for their support in the buildup to the fight.