PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Joey Bam Bam (ranked 2206 p4p, 3474 weight class) and Papa Granit (ranked 282 p4p, 434 weight class). Bam Bam's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Sleep Now In The Fire. Granit comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Trumpsta (Contiez feat. Treyy G) kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Bam Bam
vs
Granit

187 cm
27
204
10 - 5 - 0

191 cm
43
211
25 - 8 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Heavy handed

Core Combat
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Core Combat

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Joey Bam Bam!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 25 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Papa Granit!
The judges for this bout are Alan Glass, Chris Downing and Gwen Towbar.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bam Bam misses with an uppercut. Granit saw that one coming.
Bam Bam moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
Bam Bam lands with a nice body punch.
Bam Bam misses with a looping left.
Granit unleashes a big counter combination but Bam Bam bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.
No joy there for Granit, who threw a few shots but didn't land.

Granit tries to keep at a distance but Bam Bam has taken the fight into the clinch.
A short right from Granit.
A short right from Granit.

Bam Bam gets a trip takedown into half guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Granit is looking to improve his position.

Bam Bam is looking for a kimura here.
Bam Bam looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Bam Bam wants to work for an arm triangle but Granit is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.

Bam Bam is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
Bam Bam trying to control the pace.
Granit wants to improve his position but Bam Bam is controlling well.

Bam Bam is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Granit tries to get to full guard but Bam Bam has control of the leg.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.

Bam Bam seems to be looking for submissions.
Bam Bam uses his free foot to push down on Granit's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Granit.
Bam Bam looking to control and managing it successfully.
Granit is squirming around, avoiding Bam Bam's attempts to control the action.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Granit is bucking up trying to escape but Bam Bam cracks him with another couple of good strikes.

Bam Bam goes for an armbar but he's fallen flat on his backside there and now Granit is on top in guard.
Granit stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Bam Bam swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Granit preventing the sweep.
Granit looking to sit in guard and control but Bam Bam gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Granit keeping moving, preventing Bam Bam from controlling successfully.

Bam Bam stands up and waves to Granit to follow him.
Bam Bam scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Granit throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bam Bam sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Bam Bam lunges at Granit with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Granit's hand.
Bam Bam misses with a takedown
and Granit counters with a straight right hand.

It looks like Joey Bam Bam has been cut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bam Bam lands with an overhand left.
Granit throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Papa Granit is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
A nice leg kick lands there from Bam Bam.
Bam Bam lands an overhand right.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Joey Bam Bam dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Joey Bam Bam's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare each other down, ready to get back to the action.

Bam Bam fails with an attempt to clinch.
Bam Bam will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Granit misses the shot to the body.
Bam Bam throws a chopping leg kick but Granit manages to avoid taking any serious damage.

Bam Bam looks for a takedown. He's got it. We're now in half guard.
Bam Bam works his way into full mount!
Bam Bam content just to control the position here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Bam Bam stands up from mount. Strange move.
Granit pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Bam Bam with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bam Bam pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Granit misses with an uppercut.
Bam Bam appeared to be looking to counter that last move with a leg kick.
Bam Bam cracks Granit with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Joey Bam Bam seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Bam Bam tries for a takedown but Granit sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.

Bam Bam shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Bam Bam showed some decent athleticism there.
Granit tries to kick Bam Bam off in order to stand up. Bam Bam Avoids the leg push though and dives into side control.

Bam Bam is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Granit is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
Granit is trying to control Bam Bam's posture but Bam Bam avoids it.
Granit is not content to let Bam Bam control the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bam Bam moves into full mount!
Bam Bam content just to control the position here.
Bam Bam trying to control but Granit is having none of it.
Bam Bam is really struggling to control Granit but he's trying to hold on to the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bam Bam has his opponent pinned against the cage, landing some nasty ground and pound that is really making a bit of a mess out of Granit's face.
Granit is really trying hard to get back to his feet.
Granit is desperately trying to improve his position but Bam Bam has a good base and remains in mount.

Bam Bam working to secure an arm triangle but it's not happening for him just yet.
Granit has worked his way to half guard, taking advantage of Bam Bam's lack of action.
Granit works his way to full guard. Good work.
Granit keeping moving, preventing Bam Bam from controlling successfully.
Bam Bam is in close to Granit's body, working some short punches and elbows.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bam Bam pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Granit is keeping the position for now.
Bam Bam content to stall in guard here.
Bam Bam preventing the sweep.
Bam Bam trying to control the position from guard on top but Granit is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Bam Bam advances position into side control!
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Bam Bam working the body and head with strikes.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Joey Bam Bam dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Joey Bam Bam's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

Granit throws a wild body kick that Bam Bam sees coming a mile off.
Bam Bam looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Bam Bam lands a nice shot to the body.
Bam Bam throws a jab when Granit was well out of range.
Bam Bam lands a nice hook to Granit's body. Granit takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Granit takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Bam Bam pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Bam Bam sizes up Granit with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Decent striking displayed by Granit there.
A jab from Bam Bam misses.
Granit replies with a solid counter kick to the body but Bam Bam blocks it well.
Granit misses with a double jab.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Granit stuffs the takedown.
A little jabbing left from Granit on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Bam Bam connects with a looping right hand.
Bam Bam throws a big shot that misses.
Bam Bam paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Granit on the wrong end of a kick to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bam Bam scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Bam Bam stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Bam Bam tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Granit connects with a body shot.

Granit closes the distance and clinches.
Bam Bam jumps guard but Granit turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
Granit lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Granit lands a hook to the side of the head.

Bam Bam manages to break the clinch.
Granit misses with a combination
and Bam Bam counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Bam Bam throws a low kick but Granit avoids it.
No joy there for Bam Bam, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Bam Bam on the wrong end of a nice jab.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bam Bam cracks Granit with an open hand slap.
Papa Granit has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Granit ducks right into an uppercut from Bam Bam.
Granit misses with a hook.
Bam Bam takes one to the side of the head.
Bam Bam loads up on a big right hand but Granit slips the punch.
Bam Bam throws a shot from downtown. Granit moves away and avoids it.
Granit throws out a counter right but Bam Bam avoids it with no problem.
Granit avoids the body shot from Bam Bam.
Granit is loading up here, looking for a big counter of his own.
Bam Bam checks a leg kick.
Bam Bam punishes Granit's body with a nice straight punch.
Bam Bam lands an overhand right.
Bam Bam is trying hard to land a takedown here. Granit sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Joey Bam Bam. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Granit throws an ugly left hook that misses
enabling Bam Bam to counter with a crisp jab.
Granit checks a leg kick nicely.

Bam Bam has managed to clinch.
Bam Bam drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Granit gets the underhooks and prevents it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A right hook to the body lands for Granit.

Bam Bam successfully pulls guard.

Granit stands and steps away. Bam Bam gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.
Granit tries to work over Bam Bam's front leg with a kick but Bam Bam checks it.
A jab from Granit finds it's way through Bam Bam's defenses.
Granit rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Bam Bam counters with a straight right hand.
Bam Bam stuns Granit with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Bam Bam closes the distance but Granit moves to the side
and Granit counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Bam Bam slips under a jab.
Joey Bam Bam is winning the standup battle so far.
Granit tries to bum rush Bam Bam with a series of wild strikes but Bam Bam uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Granit with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Bam Bam to score with a decent uppercut.
Bam Bam connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Bam Bam misses with a right hand
and Granit counters with a nice uppercut.

Bam Bam closes the distance and clinches.

Bam Bam breaks the clinch.
Bam Bam closes this distance looking for a takedown but Granit circles away.
Granit throws out a counter right but Bam Bam avoids it with no problem.
Granit loads up on a big right hand but Bam Bam slips the punch.
Granit looks to land a right hand but Bam Bam moved out of range.

Bam Bam shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Granit is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.

Granit is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Bam Bam is aware though and is defending well.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Bam Bam is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Bam Bam trying to control the position from guard on top but Granit is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

And that's the end of the fight!
Joey Bam Bam showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Bam Bam, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 30:27
Judge Chris Downing scores the fight 30:27
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Joey Bam Bam!
A victorious Joey Bam Bam thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.