PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Schmorgen Biscuit (ranked 914 p4p, 2379 weight class) and David Brent (ranked 24 p4p, 91 weight class). Schmorgen Biscuit is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Biscuit
vs
Brent

183 cm
34
223
28 - 24 - 0

194 cm
32
210
20 - 12 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Voodoo Nutrition
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 24 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Schmorgen Biscuit!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 12 - 0, fighting out of New York, David Brent!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Daniel Franklin and George Francis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Biscuit darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.

Brent makes some distance and scrambles quickly back to his feet. Nice work!
Biscuit goes for a double leg but Brent avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the cage as Brent continues to drive forward.
Brent wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Biscuit jumps guard but Brent stands there with Biscuit around his waist. Biscuit gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Biscuit lands a body punch in the clinch.
Biscuit is trying to pull guard but Brent has him pressed against the cage.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Schmorgen Biscuit. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Biscuit keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Brent's efforts to push away.
Brent wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.

Brent breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Brent leaves Biscuit with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Nice sprawl there from Brent as Biscuit shoots in.
Biscuit is looking to take this fight into the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Brent works the jab nicely.

It looks like Schmorgen Biscuit has been cut.
Brent connects with a leg kick.
Brent bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
David Brent seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Brent misses with an uppercut
and Biscuit counters with a stiff right hand.
Biscuit wants to clinch.
Brent jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Biscuit keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Brent.
Brent thows a left - swing and a miss!
Biscuit on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Brent. Brent obviously looking to wear him down.
Brent misses with an uppercut
and Brent takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Brent is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Biscuit.
Brent scores with a nice head shot.
Brent throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Biscuit counters with a lovely shot to the body.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Brent misses the jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Biscuit closes the distance and clinches up with Brent, looking for a takedown. Biscuit pushes Brent against the cage but Brent circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Biscuit misses with a straight left.
Biscuit throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Brent's waist but Brent gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Biscuit off to one side.
Brent misses with the combination.
Brent swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Brent throws a hook to the side of Biscuit's head but Biscuit sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Brent takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Biscuit throws a body punch but Brent moves out of range.
Biscuit swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Brent misses with an uppercut.
Biscuit bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Brent misses with a straight right.
Nice defenses there by Biscuit.
Biscuit ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Brent moves away.
Brent moves away from the strike by Biscuit.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Biscuit takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Brent's corner calls for a 1-2. Brent obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Biscuit has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Biscuit there as he acknowledges the shot.

Brent lands a big uppercut and Biscuit crumbles to the floor! The ref thinks about stopping the fight but Biscuit looks OK. Brent waves Biscuit back to his feet!

Biscuit is rocked!

Schmorgen Biscuit's cut is getting worse.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Brent misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Oh Biscuit is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
David Brent is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Biscuit throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Brent misses with a right hand
and Biscuit counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Biscuit seems to have got his legs back now.
Brent drops a shoulder and throws an uppercut that cracks Biscuit right on the button. Biscuit goes down! Brent follows him to the mat and finishes the job with more strikes! Brent gets the win via TKO!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:28 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). David Brent!
David Brent bigged himself up after the win. The crowd seemed to love it.