PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Ziggy Stardust (ranked 148 p4p, 1204 weight class) and Nati Pisswater (ranked 15 p4p, 162 weight class). Stardust's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Starman. Nati Pisswater is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Stardust
vs
Pisswater

178 cm
24
166
10 - 0 - 0

172 cm
26
153
9 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class MT
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Brooklyn Threads
Brooklyn Apothecary

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 10 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Ziggy Stardust!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Nati Pisswater!
The judges for this bout are Russell Pearce, Franklyn Lucas and Joseph Jones.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Stardust blocks a jab.
Stardust ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pisswater moves away.
Pisswater looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Pisswater tries to close the distance and clinch but Stardust swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
A shot to the liver by Stardust. Beautiful body shot.
Pisswater has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Stardust throws a big shot that misses.
Pisswater slips a jab from Stardust.
Pisswater works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.

Pisswater closes the distance and clinches.
Stardust blocking some punches.
Pisswater misses with a punch on the inside.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Pisswater.
Pisswater doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

Pisswater pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Pisswater moves out of range of the leg kick from Stardust.
Pisswater swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Stardust lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Pisswater does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Stardust lands with a nice body punch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Pisswater misses the shot to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stardust lands the left hand.
Pisswater throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Stardust.
Stardust looks to land a combination but Pisswater avoids it well.
Stardust jabs Pisswater right on the nose. Pisswater blinks but takes it well.
Stardust gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Pisswater slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Pisswater throws a looping overhand right but Stardust ducks down to avoid it.
Stardust swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Pisswater scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Pisswater jabs Stardust to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Pisswater fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Stardust manages to avoid it.
Stardust misses with an uppercut.
Pisswater ducks under a wild hook from Stardust.
Pisswater swings for the body but Stardust moves out of range.
Pisswater misses with an uppercut. Stardust saw that one coming.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Stardust works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Nati Pisswater seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A low kick from Pisswater is predictable there
and Stardust counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Pisswater's jab looks to have found its range, popping Stardust under the eye.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pisswater throws a quick inside leg kick.
A looping hook to the body misses from Pisswater. Stardust does a little dance to reset his feet.
Stardust swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Pisswater throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Stardust sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Pisswater misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Stardust.
Pisswater lands a nice leg kick that just misses Stardust's sensitive parts.
A jab from Pisswater does it's job there.
Pisswater uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Stardust.
Stardust scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Stardust looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Pisswater misses with a wild body shot.
Stardust misses with a lunging right hand
and Pisswater counters with a nice uppercut.
Pisswater throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
A big right from Pisswater misses.
Stardust takes a kick to the side of the head.
Stardust bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Stardust works the jab nicely.
Stardust throws a hard body shot but it just misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A left lands for Stardust.
Pisswater ducks right into an uppercut from Stardust.

Stardust gets tackled into the cage by Pisswater. Pisswater maintains the clinch.

Pisswater breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Pisswater jabs Stardust right on the nose. Stardust blinks but takes it well.
Pisswater throws a leg kick which misses Stardust's front leg but catches the back leg as Stardust tries to avoid it.
Pisswater on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Pisswater looks to score with a jab to the body but Stardust is just out of range.
Stardust is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
A big right from Stardust misses.
Stardust wants to land a leg kick but Pisswater is out of range.
Stardust connects with a leg kick.
Pisswater swings for the body but Stardust moves out of range.

Stardust gets tackled into the cage by Pisswater. Pisswater maintains the clinch.
Pisswater misses with the head strike.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Pisswater misses with a hook to the ribs.
Pisswater misses with a short punch on the inside.
Pisswater swings away with an uppercut that misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Pisswater breaks the clinch.
A shot to the liver by Pisswater. Beautiful body shot.
Pisswater blocks a low kick nicely.
Stardust keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Pisswater.
A big left from Pisswater misses.
Stardust misses with a wild body shot.
Pisswater fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Stardust manages to avoid it.
Stardust takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.

Pisswater closes the distance and pushes Stardust back into the cage.
A hook to the body from Pisswater.

Stardust breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Pisswater missing with a left hand there. Stardust was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Stardust half committed to a counter leg kick.
Stardust throws a leg kick that misses.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Stardust swings for the body but Pisswater moves out of range.
Stardust throws a body shot but no joy.
Pisswater throws a sloppy head kick and Stardust moves out of range easily.
A leg kick checked by Pisswater.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Nati Pisswater dominated that round.
That's time! Stardust's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Stardust with the inside leg kick.
Pisswater lands with a nice combination. Stardust backs away looking to recover.
Stardust looks to score with a jab to the body but Pisswater is just out of range.
A slapping leg kick lands for Pisswater.
Nati Pisswater seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Pisswater misses with a body shot.
Stardust walks into a left hand.
A left lands for Stardust.
Pisswater looks to clinch
and Stardust cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Stardust takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Pisswater throws a head kick but Stardust moves out of range.
Pisswater has been the more effective fighter overall so far.

Stardust tries to keep at a distance but Pisswater has taken the fight into the clinch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Pisswater misses with a body punch.
A body shot lands from Pisswater.
Pisswater prevents Stardust from breaking the clinch.
Pisswater lands a hook that snaps the head of Stardust backwards.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Stardust creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Pisswater misses with a hook to the ribs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pisswater throws a head punch that misses.
Pisswater tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Stardust's elbow.
Stardust blocks a body shot from Pisswater.
I was talking to Stardust's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Pisswater doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

Stardust breaks the clinch.
Stardust just misses with a punch to the body.
Stardust throws a hook to the side of Pisswater's head but Pisswater sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Stardust throws a hook but Pisswater blocks it.
Stardust lands a jab to the nose.
Stardust throws a series of punches but Pisswater avoids them all with ease.
A shot to the liver by Pisswater. Beautiful body shot.
Stardust lands a nice shot that snaps Pisswater's head back.
Pisswater misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Stardust.
Pisswater connects with a body shot that sends Stardust's belly button to the back.
Stardust misses with a hook.
Pisswater jabs Stardust to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Pisswater throws a chopping leg kick but Stardust manages to avoid taking any serious damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pisswater tries to land a body kick
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Stardust keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Stardust throws a body shot but no joy.
Pisswater lands a body shot.
Pisswater ducks under a wild hook from Stardust.
A left lands for Pisswater.
Pisswater throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Pisswater throws a sloppy body shot
and Stardust counters with a nice leg kick.
Stardust takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Pisswater ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Stardust throws a chopping leg kick but Pisswater manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Stardust misses with a looping left.
Pisswater tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.

Pisswater has closed the distance and engaged Stardust in a clinch.
Pisswater has a couple of punches blocked by Stardust.
Pisswater swings wildly with an uppercut but Stardust uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Stardust pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Stardust misses with a combination
and Pisswater counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.

Pisswater rushes Stardust and presses him up against the cage.
Pisswater misses with the head strike.
Pisswater lands a nice uppercut.
Pisswater is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Pisswater tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Stardust is trying to push Pisswater away but Pisswater has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Stardust blocks a body shot from Pisswater.

Pisswater breaks from the clinch.
Pisswater tries to clinch but Stardust moves out of range.
Stardust throws a leg kick but Pisswater sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Pisswater throws a hook but Stardust blocks it.
Stardust is looking to counter punch.
Pisswater misses with a wild body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Stardust misses with a two punch combination.
Pisswater flicks out a counter leg kick but Stardust steps away.
Pisswater misses with a leg kick.
Pisswater throws out a leg kick but Stardust moves out of range and Pisswater only half commits.
Pisswater throws a head kick but Stardust moves out of range.
Stardust needs to keep his hands up - Pisswater had a free shot at his head there.
Stardust throws a nice inside leg kick.
Pisswater has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Stardust finds it's way round the side to connect with Pisswater's head.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Pisswater gets a clinch.
Pisswater working aggressively here.

Stardust's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Stardust is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Pisswater.
Stardust ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pisswater moves away.
Stardust scores with a leg kick.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Pisswater lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Stardust has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Stardust and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Stardust tries to land a leg kick but Pisswater saw it coming and moves away.
Pisswater throws out a counter right but Stardust avoids it with no problem.
Stardust slips under a jab from Pisswater.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Nati Pisswater showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

A decent looking cross lands there for Stardust.
A nice inside leg kick there by Pisswater. That's going to slow Stardust down.
Pisswater moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.

Pisswater pushes Stardust up against the cage in a clinch.
Stardust misses with a hook to the ribs.
Stardust is looking to break free of the clinch but Pisswater has double underhooks.
Stardust misses with a shot to the kidneys.

Pisswater breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Stardust lands a nice shot that snaps Pisswater's head back.

Pisswater fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Stardust, pushing him back against the cage.
Pisswater lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Stardust backwards.
Pisswater lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Stardust backwards.
Pisswater misses with some punches.
Pisswater misses with the head strike.
Pisswater has a couple of punches blocked by Stardust.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Stardust takes a shot to the head.
Stardust blocks an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stardust tries to throw a body punch but Pisswater avoids it by throwing Stardust back against the cage.
Stardust blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Stardust blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Pisswater misses with a short punch on the inside.

Stardust breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Pisswater moves out of range of the leg kick from Stardust.
Pisswater throws a right hand that misses
and Stardust counters with an inside leg kick.
Stardust throws a jab but it's blocked by Pisswater.
Pisswater takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Pisswater tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Pisswater throws an off balance right hand
and Stardust counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Stardust swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Pisswater moves in looking to clinch but Stardust pushes him off.
An inside leg kick from Pisswater misses.
Pisswater paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Pisswater tries to clinch up.
Pisswater looks to land a right hand but Stardust moved out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pisswater pivots, looking for a leg kick but Stardust is out of range and Pisswater settles back down.
Pisswater's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Pisswater connects with a solid leg kick.
Stardust misses with a hook
and Pisswater counters with a lovely straight right hand!
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Pisswater throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Pisswater misses with a wild body shot.
Stardust tests Pisswater's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Pisswater shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Nice defenses there by Stardust.
Pisswater connects with the punch.
A looping hook to the body misses from Stardust. Pisswater does a little dance to reset his feet.
Pisswater flicks out a counter leg kick but Stardust steps away.
Stardust checks the leg kick.
Stardust swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Stardust keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Pisswater lands a nice looking body shot.
Stardust comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Stardust with a jab.
Stardust throws a right and a left that both miss.
Ziggy Stardust has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Nati Pisswater is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pisswater just misses with a punch to the body.
Stardust takes a swing at Pisswater's ribcage but misses.

Pisswater darts in and clinches Stardust up against the cage.
Stardust looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
Stardust wants to get back to striking at distance but Pisswater won't allow it.
Stardust stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.

Stardust breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
A nice inside leg kick there by Pisswater. That's going to slow Stardust down.
Pisswater throws a head kick but Stardust moves out of range.
Pisswater feints and then cracks Stardust's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Stardust down.
A low kick from Stardust is predictable there
letting Pisswater counter with a right hand.
Stardust connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Pisswater momentarily.
Pisswater connects with an inside leg kick.
Pisswater blocks a leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Stardust keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Stardust lands with a cross.
Stardust uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Pisswater.
Stardust is looking to counter punch.
Pisswater throws a leg kick which misses Stardust's front leg but catches the back leg as Stardust tries to avoid it.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pisswater tries to close the distance and clinch up but Stardust swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Stardust clobbers Pisswater with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Pisswater throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Stardust on the side of the head.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Stardust lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Pisswater has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Pisswater and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Pisswater takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Stardust tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Stardust is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Pisswater.
Stardust lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Stardust takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Stardust pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Pisswater throws a front kick that sends Stardust stumbling back into the cage.

And that's the end of the fight!
Nati Pisswater comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Pisswater has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Russell Pearce scores the fight 27:30
Judge Franklyn Lucas scores the fight 27:30
Judge Joseph Jones scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Nati Pisswater!
In his post fight interview, Nati Pisswater started talking himself up. Luckily his charisma kept the crowd on side and gave him a good reception.