PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Massive Schlong (ranked 4612 p4p, 3187 weight class) and Goat Cheese (ranked 543 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Schlong
vs
Cheese

180 cm
22
172
0 - 0 - 0

150 cm
20
185
0 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Brawler
Good chin

Good takedowns
Counter fighter
Determined

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Massive Schlong!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Goat Cheese!
The judges for this bout are Ren Mimura, Yasuomi Hirokawa and Kenichi Hosakawa.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cheese connects with a body shot that sends Schlong's belly button to the back.

Schlong fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Cheese sprawls well initially but Schlong persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - Cheese has eaten all the pies!
Cheese looks like he's trying to stand up.

Cheese has managed to escape just enough to sneak back to his feet but Schlong is on him like a limpet, forcing Cheese back against the cage.
Cheese is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.
Schlong is breathing heavily.
A shot in the inside from Cheese.
Cheese lands a knee to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cheese lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Cheese lands a body shot.
Cheese working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Schlong gets underhooks to prevent Cheese's takedown attempt.
Cheese working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Cheese swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Cheese misses with a hook to the ribs.

Cheese breaks from the clinch.
Nice shot lands for Cheese.
Cheese connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Cheese fails miserably with a takedown attempt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Schlong tries to clinch up.
Schlong takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Schlong will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Cheese dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Cheese misses the shot to the body.
Schlong shoots in for a takedown but Cheese shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Schlong fails to land the takedown.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Massive Schlong. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Schlong tries to clinch but Cheese is having none of it.
Cheese tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Cheese fails with a takedown attempt.
Cheese connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Schlong is looking to take this fight into the clinch.

Cheese shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Schlong is trying to defend but Cheese finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Cheese is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Cheese wants to pass the guard but Schlong is defending well.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

Cheese is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Schlong has managed to free his arm - good work.

Cheese is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Schlong sees it coming and defends easily.

Cheese is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Cheese is looking for a kimura. It's pretty deep but Schlong still has the half guard so he's probably OK. Oh, Schlong has exploded into a beautiful escape there and after a quick scramble, he's ended up in side control on top! Nice work!
Cheese pushes Schlong away and creates a bit of space to escape. He's almost out here... but no, Schlong gets a good hold of his legs and remains firmly in side control.
Schlong wants to lay and pray for a moment but Cheese keeps working.
Cheese is trying to buck Schlong off.
Schlong is looking to take a break and control but Cheese is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Cheese is looking for a sweep.
Cheese wants to get back to his feet but Schlong drags him back down.
Schlong trying to control the position but Cheese is working away.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if Cheese can do anything to dispel that myth.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cheese wants to get back to his feet but Schlong drags him back down.
Cheese tries to bench press Schlong off him but Schlong keeps the position.
Cheese taking punishment in the form of punches.
Schlong trying to control the action but Cheese is working from the bottom.
Schlong is really struggling to control Cheese but he's trying to hold on to the position.
Cheese is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Schlong has just dragged him back down to the mat.
Cheese is trying to improve his position.
Cheese is trying to buck Schlong off.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Goat Cheese dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Cheese displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Schlong.
Cheese tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Schlong moves to clinch but Cheese breaks away

and Cheese counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Cheese.
Cheese throwing strikes from guard but Schlong blocks nicely.
Schlong keeping full guard, as Cheese tries to pass.
Cheese throwing strikes but missing.
Schlong looking to control.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Cheese postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Cheese is pushing down on Schlong's leg trying to pass to half guard. Schlong is fighting to maintain full guard but Cheese has managed to sneak the leg through.
Cheese working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Cheese tries to pass the half guard into mount. Schlong knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.

Cheese is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Schlong sees it coming and defends easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cheese missing with the ground and pound from half guard.

Cheese looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Schlong wants to get back to full guard.

Cheese is looking for a kimura here.
Schlong is trying to maintain the position but Cheese is very close to passing his half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.

Cheese is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.

Cheese looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

Cheese is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.

Cheese is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Schlong slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Cheese won't allow Schlong to sweep him here.
Cheese has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Schlong is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.

The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Cheese is trying to stand back up but Schlong is controlling him
Cheese is using up a lot of energy trying to get back to his feet. Perhaps he should improve his position first.
Schlong is looking to advance position but Cheese won't allow it.
Schlong is looking to take a break and control but Cheese is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Schlong slips a nice elbow through Cheese's hands, connecting with Cheese's forehead.
Cheese moves into full guard.
Schlong trying to control but Cheese is working from the bottom.

Schlong avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Schlong trying to control but Cheese is working from the bottom.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Cheese working for submissions but it's allowed Schlong to get to half guard.
Cheese wants to get back to his feet.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Goat Cheese showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Schlong fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Cheese sprawls well initially but Schlong persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
Schlong is looking to take a break and control but Cheese is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Cheese tries to kick Schlong off but Schlong keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
Schlong wants to take a breather but Cheese is having none of it.
Schlong stops Cheese from getting back to his feet.
Schlong is looking to take a break and control but Cheese is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Cheese pushes Schlong off looking to stand but Schlong dives back in and keeps control.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.

Schlong drives through with a takedown into guard.
Schlong trying to control but Cheese is working from the bottom.

The fighters are working up against the cage. Cheese manages to wriggle his way back to his feet, so the fighters are now clinched against the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cheese can't break the clinch.
Cheese misses with a hook from the clinch.
A short right from Cheese on the inside.
Cheese missing with knees to the body.

Schlong breaks from the clinch.
Schlong shoots in for a double leg but Cheese sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Cheese tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Schlong.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Schlong shoots in but no luck this time.
Cheese tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Massive Schlong. That's going to take a lot out of him.

Cheese scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.

Cheese is in a dominant position here, looking for a kimura. Schlong looks calm but he's in trouble here. Cheese gets his leg over his opponent's head and yanks on the arm. Schlong is tapping like a morse code operator on the titanic! SOS! SOS! Cheese lets go of the hold and Schlong can pop his arm back in it's socket.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:56 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Goat Cheese!