PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Long Schlong (ranked 3083 p4p, 3521 weight class) and Henry Wallace (ranked 294 p4p, 332 weight class). Henry Wallace has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Long Schlong's chin.

Schlong
vs
Wallace

178 cm
30
148
11 - 12 - 1

177 cm
33
149
18 - 21 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Blue Belt
World class MT
Granite chin

KOMBAT KLOTHING

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 12 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Long Schlong!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 21 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Henry Wallace!
The judges for this bout are George Francis, Tiny Johnson and Alan Glass.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wallace misses with a hook. Schlong ducked under it nicely.
Schlong drops down looking for a counter takedown but Wallace sprawls and moves away.
Wallace moves out of range as Schlong strikes.
Wallace uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Schlong.
Wallace moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Wallace throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Wallace throws a sloppy head kick and Schlong moves out of range easily.
Schlong looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
A right-left combo lands from Wallace.
Wallace looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Wallace scores with a hook to the body. Schlong takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.

Wallace has closed the distance and engaged Schlong in a clinch.
Schlong lands a left hand that snaps the head of Wallace backwards.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Schlong.
Schlong lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Wallace backwards.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Schlong misses with a punch to the body.
Wallace throws an elbow that misses.

Schlong jumps guard.

Schlong has his foot on Wallace's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Wallace works his way back into a safe position though.
Schlong trying to keep a closed guard but Wallace is proving a slippery customer.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Wallace got a little sloppy there for a moment and Schlong has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Wallace has managed to get both his arms back between Schlong's legs - danger averted.

Wallace has a momentary lapse of concentration, allowing Schlong to throw up a leg and lock on what appears to be a pretty tight triangle! Wallace is fighting it off but it's all too little too late - Schlong pulls down on the head and he's put Wallace to sleep! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:27 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Long Schlong!