PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Vladimir Gwadnovich (ranked 5021 p4p, 5084 weight class) and Alfred Shittybottoms (ranked 62 p4p, 67 weight class). Gwadnovich's entrance music is State Anthem of the Russian Federation. A fine choice. Alfred Shittybottoms is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Gwadnovich
vs
Shittybottoms

177 cm
18
250
0 - 0 - 0

194 cm
18
250
0 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Brawler
Very quick

Good wrestler
Brawler
Granite chin

FEEBLE FIGHTWEAR

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Vladimir Gwadnovich!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Alfred Shittybottoms!
The judges for this bout are Dillan Fox, Alec Ball and Steve Smith.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Shittybottoms ducks under a wild hook from Gwadnovich.
Shittybottoms is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms throws a right hand that Gwadnovich ducks under and follows up with a left that Gwadnovich also avoids with ease.
A leg kick checked by Shittybottoms.
Gwadnovich throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Gwadnovich throws a right hand that misses

and Shittybottoms moves into the clinch.
Gwadnovich tries to throw a body punch but Shittybottoms avoids it by throwing Gwadnovich back against the cage.

Shittybottoms breaks from the clinch.
Gwadnovich throws a lazy right hand but Shittybottoms sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Vladimir Gwadnovich seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Shittybottoms has Gwadnovich up against the cage in a clinch.
Gwadnovich is looking to break free of the clinch but Shittybottoms has double underhooks.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gwadnovich swings wildly with an uppercut but Shittybottoms uses good head movement to avoid it.
Shittybottoms tries for a takedown but Gwadnovich manages to get underhooks.

Shittybottoms manages to pull guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Shittybottoms looking to hit a scissor sweep but Gwadnovich is one step ahead there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gwadnovich engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Gwadnovich pushes down on Shittybottoms's leg and manages to get into half guard.
Gwadnovich controlling the action here.
Gwadnovich wants to free his trapped foot but Shittybottoms is holding on for dear life with his legs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Shittybottoms blocking the ground and pound attempt from Gwadnovich.
Gwadnovich performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Shittybottoms trying to hold on to Gwadnovich's head to control him but Gwadnovich postures up.
Gwadnovich not landing any meaningful shots this time.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Shittybottoms keeping control of the position.
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Gwadnovich performing his best blanket impression for a moment.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Gwadnovich throws a hook to the side of Shittybottoms's head but Shittybottoms sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Shittybottoms moves out of range of the body kick.
Shittybottoms uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Gwadnovich.
Gwadnovich pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Shittybottoms is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Shittybottoms checks a leg kick.
Gwadnovich misses with a head kick.

Shittybottoms feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Shittybottoms trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Gwadnovich can't keep his opponent in guard - Shittybottoms advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Shittybottoms trying to mount his opponent but Gwadnovich defends it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Shittybottoms is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Gwadnovich doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms wants to pass to mount but Gwadnovich is defending the position.
Shittybottoms wants to take a breather but Gwadnovich is having none of it.
Gwadnovich is trying to get back to full guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Shittybottoms wants to work for an arm triangle but Gwadnovich is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.

Shittybottoms is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Gwadnovich sees it coming and defends easily.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Alfred Shittybottoms will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Shittybottoms ducks under a wild hook from Gwadnovich.
Gwadnovich throws a hook but Shittybottoms avoids it easily.

Shittybottoms fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Gwadnovich, pushing him back against the cage.

Shittybottoms breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Shittybottoms blocks a head kick by Gwadnovich.
Shittybottoms feints the counter takedown.
Shittybottoms uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Gwadnovich.
Gwadnovich tries to close the distance and clinch but Shittybottoms swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Gwadnovich misses with a straight left.
Shittybottoms uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Gwadnovich.
Alfred Shittybottoms is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
No luck for Shittybottoms with that takedown attempt.
Good work by Shittybottoms as he checks the leg kick.
Gwadnovich throws an overhand right that lands on Shittybottoms's shoulder, as Shittybottoms tries to avoid the shot.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Shittybottoms throws a wild body kick that Gwadnovich sees coming a mile off.
Shittybottoms tries for a takedown but Gwadnovich sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Shittybottoms displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Gwadnovich throws out the jab.
Shittybottoms blocks a jab.
Gwadnovich misses with an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Shittybottoms uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Gwadnovich.

Shittybottoms clinches up with Gwadnovich and pushes him back against the cage.
Shittybottoms looking to throw knees to the head but Gwadnovich is blocking nicely.

Shittybottoms manages to break the clinch.
Shittybottoms slips a straight right by Gwadnovich.
Shittybottoms blocks a jab.
Shittybottoms looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Gwadnovich misses the jab.
Gwadnovich jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Shittybottoms slips under a jab.
Shittybottoms appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Shittybottoms slips under a jab.
Gwadnovich throws a jab when Shittybottoms was well out of range.
Shittybottoms throws a counter combo.
Gwadnovich tries a head kick but it misses.
Gwadnovich throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Shittybottoms sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Shittybottoms ducks under a wild hook from Gwadnovich.
Gwadnovich misses with a looping left.
Gwadnovich is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Shittybottoms can do to turn this around?
Shittybottoms throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Vladimir Gwadnovich is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Shittybottoms shoots in but Gwadnovich avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Vladimir Gwadnovich has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Alfred Shittybottoms.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Shittybottoms clinches up against the cage.
Gwadnovich misses with some punches.
Gwadnovich misses with some punches.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Gwadnovich throws a punch but it's blocked by Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Gwadnovich smiles and moves away.
Gwadnovich misses with a right hand

and Shittybottoms counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Shittybottoms.
Gwadnovich misses with some punches.
Shittybottoms lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Gwadnovich misses with a body punch.
Gwadnovich misses with a hook from the clinch.
Shittybottoms fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Gwadnovich has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Gwadnovich goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Gwadnovich's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Gwadnovich tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Gwadnovich fails to land with a short punch on the inside.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Shittybottoms jumps guard and drags Gwadnovich to the mat. He's obviously going to be looking for submissions off his back.
Gwadnovich working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Gwadnovich looking to sit in guard and control but Shittybottoms gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

Gwadnovich keeping full guard, as Shittybottoms tries to pass.
Shittybottoms passes into half guard.
The fighters are battling for position here. Gwadnovich manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Shittybottoms pushes down on Gwadnovich's leg and manages to get into half guard.
Gwadnovich is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Gwadnovich might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Shittybottoms is looking to advance position but Gwadnovich won't allow it.
Gwadnovich wants to improve his position but Shittybottoms is controlling well.

Shittybottoms is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
Shittybottoms trying to pass the guard but Gwadnovich defending well.

Shittybottoms is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Gwadnovich doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Shittybottoms.

Gwadnovich makes his way to full guard, as Shittybottoms worked for a kimura.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Vladimir Gwadnovich will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!

A swing and a miss from Gwadnovich.
A leg kick checked by Shittybottoms.
Gwadnovich throws out a loose jab but Shittybottoms uses good head movement to avoid it.
Gwadnovich moves out of range as Shittybottoms throws a body kick.
Shittybottoms slips under a jab.
Gwadnovich wants to clinch up but Shittybottoms keeps it at a distance.
Shittybottoms moves away from the strike by Gwadnovich.

Shittybottoms takes the fight into the clinch.
Gwadnovich working hard to break the clinch.
Gwadnovich fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Shittybottoms is trying to pull guard but Gwadnovich turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Shittybottoms breaks from the clinch.
The fighters circling - Gwadnovich throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Shittybottoms tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Gwadnovich throws a head kick that misses.
Shittybottoms ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Gwadnovich throws an overhand right that lands on Shittybottoms's shoulder, as Shittybottoms tries to avoid the shot.

Shittybottoms has closed the distance and engaged Gwadnovich in a clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gwadnovich throws a head punch that misses.
Gwadnovich tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Shittybottoms blocking some punches.
Gwadnovich working aggressively here.
Stalling in the clinch from Shittybottoms.
Gwadnovich throws a punch but it's blocked by Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms can't find room to land a body shot as Gwadnovich controls the action.
Gwadnovich doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Gwadnovich throws a head punch that misses.
A head punch on the inside from Gwadnovich fails to land.
Alfred Shittybottoms seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Shittybottoms leaning his opponent against the cage.
Gwadnovich misses with a short punch on the inside.
Come on Shittybottoms - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Shittybottoms stalling against the cage.
The crowd are getting on Shittybottoms's back here. They're not happy about his lack of aggression in the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Gwadnovich throws a punch but it's blocked by Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms wants a takedown.
Gwadnovich can't break the clinch.
Gwadnovich working aggressively here.
Shittybottoms blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Gwadnovich has a couple of punches blocked by Shittybottoms.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms is trying to pull guard but Gwadnovich turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Vladimir Gwadnovich has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Alfred Shittybottoms.
Gwadnovich misses with the head strike.
Gwadnovich tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Shittybottoms's elbow.
Gwadnovich misses with a short punch on the inside.
Shittybottoms blocking some punches.

Shittybottoms breaks from the clinch.
Gwadnovich throws a jab but it's blocked by Shittybottoms.
Shittybottoms slips a straight right by Gwadnovich.
Shittybottoms throws a body kick that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Gwadnovich throws a big shot that misses.
It seemed like Shittybottoms was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Nice takedown defense from Gwadnovich. No joy for Shittybottoms on that attempt.
Shittybottoms slips under a jab from Gwadnovich.
Gwadnovich is really struggling to find his range with his punches. Shittybottoms's reach advantage is clearly causing him problems.
Gwadnovich throws a head kick but Shittybottoms moves out of range.

Gwadnovich gets caught napping as Shittybottoms dives in and scores a takedown. Gwadnovich manages to retain guard.
Shittybottoms passes into half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Gwadnovich is looking for a sweep. Shittybottoms is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Gwadnovich knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Shittybottoms on the ground.

Shittybottoms is trying to work for a kimura but Gwadnovich is defending well.
Shittybottoms trying to mount his opponent but Gwadnovich defends it.
Shittybottoms trying to control the action but Gwadnovich is working from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gwadnovich tries to roll over but Shittybottoms keeps him under control.
Shittybottoms is pressing down on Gwadnovich's thigh, looking to free his foot. Gwadnovich is holding on for now.
Gwadnovich is trying to maintain the position but Shittybottoms is very close to passing his half guard.
Shittybottoms tries to pass the half guard into mount. Gwadnovich knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Shittybottoms sitting and controlling from the half guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Shittybottoms seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Gwadnovich does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

And that's the end of the fight!
Vladimir Gwadnovich showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Gwadnovich has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 29:28
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 30:28
Judge Steve Smith scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Vladimir Gwadnovich!
Post fight, an emotional Vladimir Gwadnovich said 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs comrades'.