PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Joey Kebab (ranked 2556 p4p, 24435 weight class) and Generic Jobber (ranked 43 p4p, 104 weight class). Generic Jobber has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Kebab
vs
Jobber

175 cm
25
200
2 - 3 - 0

225 cm
25
205
0 - 4 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Very strong

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Vegan Gains
PWNAGE™

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 2 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Joey Kebab!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Generic Jobber!
The judges for this bout are Darius Henderson, Ben Watson and Hugh Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jobber avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Kebab misses the jab.
Kebab misses with a looping left.

Jobber drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.

Kebab manages to wriggle out and sneak his way back up to his feet, so the fighters are now clinched up against the cage.
Jobber fails to pull the fight into his guard.
Jobber blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Kebab gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Jobber.
Jobber blocks an uppercut.
Jobber blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Jobber tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Kebab just stands there and leans against the cage.
Joey Kebab has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Generic Jobber.
Jobber blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Kebab misses with some punches.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Jobber stalling in the clinch.
Kebab throws a head punch that misses.
Kebab swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Kebab tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kebab misses with some punches.
Kebab tries to work over Jobber's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Kebab goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Kebab goes for a body shot but it's blocked.

Jobber pulls guard effortlessly.
Jobber has a closed guard, preventing Kebab from standing up.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if Jobber can do anything to dispel that myth.

Jobber is looking for a triangle but Kebab pushes his legs off easily.

Jobber looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Jobber looking to hit a scissor sweep but Kebab is one step ahead there.
Jobber is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jobber looking for a sweep. Not yet Jobber, not yet.
Jobber has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
Jobber has a closed guard, preventing Kebab from standing up.

Kebab decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Jobber, up you get!
Jobber tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Kebab defends well and Jobber ends up having to push Kebab into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Jobber fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Kebab pushes Jobber away with a front kick.
Kebab swings widly with a right hand
and Jobber counters with a nice uppercut.
Kebab definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.

Jobber closes the distance and pushes Kebab back into the cage.
Kebab throws a head punch that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jobber tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Kebab just stands there and leans against the cage.

Jobber breaks from the clinch.

Jobber gets the takedown into side control.
Jobber misses with a strike but at least he's keeping busy, looking to cause some damage - that will still help him when it comes to the judges scorecards.
Kebab is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Jobber has just dragged him back down to the mat.
Jobber is staying tight to Kebab's torso, preventing him from escaping.
Jobber throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.
Jobber controls the position.
Kebab is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Jobber has just dragged him back down to the mat.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Jobber controls the position from side control.
Kebab is looking to work his way out of this bad position but Jobber is controlling him well.
Jobber scores with a couple of nice shots to the head there. The referee takes a look at Kebab to see if he's OK.
Jobber cracks Kebab with a big elbow.
Kebab is putting a lot of effort into getting back to his feet here.
Kebab wants to get back to his feet but Jobber is dominant here and he's now got Kebab's back!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jobber punches Kebab on the ear.
Jobber cracks Kebab with a big shot to body and one to the head - really punishing Kebab from the back mount here, looking to soften him up.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Jobber is riding his opponent, not letting Kebab buck him off.
Kebab is trying to get back to his feet but Jobber has full control of the position and if anything, Kebab has just worked his way into a worse spot.
What can Kebab do to escape this position? He's going to have to figure it out pretty quick if he wants to stay in the fight!
Kebab is trying to get back to his feet but he's not managed it yet.
Jobber controls the action.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Kebab is trying to stand back up.
So, who will make the next big move? In this position it could be crucial.
Kebab trying to get back to his feet but Jobber is in full control for now.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Generic Jobber will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Jobber changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Kebab looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
A lull in the action here.
Jobber passes to full mount! That's big trouble for Kebab!
Jobber looking to finish Kebab with some ground and pound. This is bad for Kebab!
Jobber controlling his opponent.
Jobber connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
Kebab is trying to stand up.
Jobber content just to control the position here.

Jobber has control of Kebab's right arm, working for a kimura. It's a bit of a token attempt though and Kebab regains control of the situation pretty easily.

Kebab tries to buck Jobber off so he can stand up but Jobber has got his back now - this could be big trouble! He's slapped on a rear naked choke that looks really tight! Kebab falls backwards, slamming Jobber to the mat but Jobber holds on tight! Kebab is forced to tap and this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:55 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Generic Jobber!
A victorious Generic Jobber thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.