PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Island Turd Four (ranked 5751 p4p, 4449 weight class) and Ze Manel (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Turd Four
vs
Manel

191 cm
25
155
0 - 1 - 0

175 cm
25
153
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Intelligent

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Island Turd Four!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Ze Manel!
The judges for this bout are Dirk Anderson, Winston Alpacca and David Hoff.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Turd Four ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Manel moves away.
A countering left hand to the body from Manel misses.
Island Turd Four seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Turd Four clinches.
Manel lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Turd Four softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Turd Four really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Manel goes for a takedown attempt but Turd Four pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Turd Four cracks Manel with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.

Turd Four closes the distance and pushes Manel back into the cage.
Manel struggles to land a body shot inside as Turd Four controls his hands.
Turd Four fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Manel lands a shot to the body.
Turd Four misses with a hook to the ribs.
Turd Four misses with a punch to the body.
Manel misses with a body punch.
Turd Four has a couple of punches blocked by Manel.
Turd Four tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Manel misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Manel blocks an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Manel scores with a hook to the body.
Manel throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Turd Four is breathing heavily.
A left hand lands to the body for Manel.
Turd Four blocks a body shot from Manel.
A left hand lands to the body for Manel.
Manel works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Good body shot from Manel.
Manel tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Good body shot from Manel.
Manel lands a shot to the body.
Manel lands a shot to the body.
Manel lands a body shot in the clinch.
Manel tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Turd Four avoids it.
Manel struggles to land a body shot inside as Turd Four controls his hands.
Turd Four definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Turd Four misses with a knee to the head.
Manel presses Turd Four against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Manel lands with a light punch inside.
Turd Four is defending well against a takedown attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Manel lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
A short left from Manel.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Turd Four is defending well against a takedown attempt.
Island Turd Four has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Ze Manel.
Manel is leaning against Turd Four and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
A short body shot lands from Manel as the two fighters clinch.
Manel misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Manel works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
A left hand lands to the body for Manel.
Manel is trying to break free.
Turd Four misses with a body punch.
Manel pushes Turd Four back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Manel drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Manel wants to get back to striking at distance but Turd Four won't allow it.
Turd Four blocks a body shot from Manel.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Nice body punch from Manel - that landed with a thud.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Turd Four swings wildly with an uppercut but Manel uses good head movement to avoid it.
A right hand to the body from Manel.
Manel lands with a short shot to the head.
Turd Four doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Turd Four misses with the head strike.
Turd Four misses with a hook from the clinch.
Turd Four misses with a punch on the inside.
Turd Four blocks a body shot from Manel.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Manel blocks an uppercut.
Turd Four lands a right hand that snaps the head of Manel backwards.
Manel tries to break the clinch but Turd Four is controlling the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd Four lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Turd Four struggles to land a body shot inside as Manel controls his hands.
Manel blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Turd Four connects with a nasty looking knee right to Manel's face.
Turd Four lands with a short shot to the head.
Manel lands a body punch.
Turd Four with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Manel stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Turd Four swings wildly with an uppercut but Manel uses good head movement to avoid it.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Turd Four throws a punch but it's blocked by Manel.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Manel as Turd Four tries to tie him up.
Manel tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Turd Four's elbow.
Turd Four blocks a body shot from Manel.
A head punch on the inside from Turd Four fails to land.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Ze Manel will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Manel connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Turd Four's hands.
Manel slips a jab from Turd Four.

Manel closes the distance and pushes Turd Four back into the cage.
Manel misses with a hook to the ribs.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Turd Four as Manel tries to tie him up.
Turd Four fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Manel misses with a punch to the body.
Manel tries to work over Turd Four's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Manel lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Turd Four backwards.
Turd Four misses with a short punch on the inside.
Manel blocking some punches.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Manel tries to score a body lock takedown but Turd Four shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Manel tries to work over Turd Four's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Manel lands a nice shot to the body.
Manel is trying to break free.
Turd Four working aggressively here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Manel is trying to break the clinch but Turd Four is controlling him.
A right hand to the body from Manel.
Turd Four misses with some punches.
Manel takes a knee right on the jaw!
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Turd Four misses with a punch on the inside.
Turd Four throws a punch but it's blocked by Manel.
Turd Four has a couple of punches blocked by Manel.
Manel takes a shot to the head.
Manel can't find room to land a body shot as Turd Four controls the action.
Manel is trying to break the clinch but Turd Four has him pressed against the cage.
Turd Four lands a right hand that snaps the head of Manel backwards.
Turd Four misses with a hook from the clinch.
Turd Four takes a shot to the head.
Turd Four lands a left hand that snaps the head of Manel backwards.
Turd Four prevents a body shot from Manel.
Turd Four misses with some punches.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Manel works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Turd Four blocks a body shot from Manel.
Turd Four scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A right handed body shot lands from Manel.
Manel is working Turd Four over against the cage.
This has been an exciting period of action!
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Turd Four.
Manel is trying to break the clinch but Turd Four is controlling him.
Manel scores with a hook to the body.
Manel lands a left hand that snaps the head of Turd Four backwards.
A frustrated look appears on Manel's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Manel presses Turd Four against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Manel lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Turd Four.
Manel works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Manel has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Turd Four is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Manel is struggling to control the position.
A short body shot lands from Manel as the two fighters clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Manel lands a hook to the side of the head.
A right hook to the body lands for Manel.
Turd Four lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Manel is looking to take this one to the mat.
Island Turd Four has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Ze Manel.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Manel tries to throw a body punch but Turd Four avoids it by throwing Manel back against the cage.
Manel lands a hook that snaps the head of Turd Four backwards.
Turd Four misses with a hook to the ribs.
Manel misses with some punches.
Manel blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Turd Four misses with a short punch on the inside.
Manel blocking some punches.
Manel tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Manel doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Manel tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Turd Four letting Manel take a breather here.
Turd Four throws a head punch that misses.
Manel blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Turd Four throws a head punch that misses.
Turd Four tries to work over Manel's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Turd Four missing with knees to the body.
Turd Four misses with a short punch on the inside.
Manel avoiding damage as Turd Four throws knees to the body.
Turd Four tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Manel lands a nice uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Turd Four misses with a short punch on the inside.
Manel stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Manel presses Turd Four against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Ze Manel will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Turd Four stuns Manel with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Turd Four misses with a wild body shot.
Manel is looking for the big counter here.
Turd Four takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.

Manel closes the distance and pushes Turd Four back into the cage.
Manel drops down looking for an ankle pick but Turd Four pulls his leg out and moves away.
No luck for Manel with that takedown attempt.
Turd Four scores with a body shot.
Turd Four lands with a straight right. Manel didn't see that one coming.
A looping hook to the body misses from Turd Four. Manel does a little dance to reset his feet.

Manel instigates a clinch.
Manel takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Stalling in the clinch from Manel.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Turd Four.
Turd Four lands a hook that snaps the head of Manel backwards.
Manel misses with a hook to the ribs.
Manel blocks a couple of punches on the inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Manel blocks an uppercut.
Manel stalling.
Turd Four swings wildly with an uppercut but Manel uses good head movement to avoid it.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Turd Four prevents the takedown attempt.
Island Turd Four has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Ze Manel.
Manel misses with a punch to the body.
Turd Four misses with a body punch.
Turd Four throws a punch but it's blocked by Manel.
Manel softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Turd Four lands with a left to the head.
Turd Four tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Manel prevents a body shot from Turd Four.
Turd Four goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Turd Four stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Island Turd Four has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd Four swings wildly with an uppercut but Manel uses good head movement to avoid it.
Manel misses with a body punch.
Turd Four misses with a short punch on the inside.
Turd Four lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Manel backwards.
Turd Four swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Turd Four throws a knee to the head but misses.
Turd Four looking to throw knees to the head but Manel is blocking nicely.
Manel works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Manel.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Manel.
Turd Four swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Manel tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Turd Four prevents a body shot from Manel.
Manel is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd Four fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Manel stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Turd Four tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Turd Four lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Manel tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Turd Four just stands there and leans against the cage.
Manel misses with a body punch.
Ze Manel seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Turd Four throws a head punch that misses.
Turd Four prevents a body shot from Manel.
Turd Four throws a head punch that misses.
Manel misses with a hook to the ribs.
Manel goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Manel blocking some punches.
Manel misses with a hook to the ribs.
Manel wants a takedown but no success here.
Ze Manel is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd Four throws a head punch that misses.
Turd Four fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Turd Four stalling the fight.
Manel prevents a body shot from Turd Four.
Manel blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Turd Four misses with a hook from the clinch.
Turd Four tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Turd Four misses with a short punch on the inside.
Manel tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Turd Four's elbow.
Turd Four misses with some punches.
Turd Four working aggressively here.
Turd Four scores with a shot to the side of Manel's head.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Turd Four.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Manel.
Turd Four throws a punch but it's blocked by Manel.

And that's the end of the fight!
Island Turd Four showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Manel has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dirk Anderson scores the fight 28:29
Judge Winston Alpacca scores the fight 28:29
Judge David Hoff scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Ze Manel!
A less than humble Ze Manel misjudged his post fight interview somewhat and came across a little too arrogant whilst trying to hype up his own abilities.