PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Anti Half Assed (ranked 519 p4p, 665 weight class) and Violent Femme (ranked 12 p4p, 16 weight class). Anti Half Assed has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Half Assed
vs
Femme

179 cm
35
170
27 - 18 - 1

167 cm
25
140
9 - 2 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Pound Town INC
PWNAGE Elite - $25 Tees

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 27 - 18 - 1, fighting out of St Petersburg, Anti Half Assed!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Violent Femme!
The judges for this bout are Ivan Kurochkin, Vladimir Khabensky and Sergei Dronov.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Half Assed slips under a jab from Femme.
Half Assed takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Half Assed throws a hook but Femme blocks it.
Half Assed slips a jab from Femme.
Half Assed uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Femme.
Half Assed slips a jab from Femme.
Femme misses with a hook.
Jab by Half Assed.
Half Assed throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Femme keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Violent Femme seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Femme looks to throw the jab but Half Assed is out of range.
It looked like Half Assed wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Femme has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
A big left from Femme misses.
Half Assed is looking to counter punch.
A big right from Femme misses.
Femme throws a right hand that misses
and Half Assed connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Femme throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Half Assed was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Femme throws a right hand that misses
and Half Assed counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Half Assed throws a series of punches but Femme avoids them all with ease.
Half Assed looks to land a right hand but Femme moved out of range.
Half Assed keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Femme scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Femme misses with a straight right.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Femme darts in and out, connecting with a jab.

Half Assed looking to shoot here. He's gone for it and he's landed a takedown into side control! Oh, that's bad for Femme!
Femme tries to bench press Half Assed off him but Half Assed keeps the position.
You can see the frustration on Femme's face as Half Assed controls the position.

Half Assed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Half Assed wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Femme, who protects the arm well.
Femme tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Half Assed wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
Half Assed in side control, just content to control the action for now.
Half Assed trying to control the action but Femme is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Half Assed is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Femme knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.

Half Assed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.

Half Assed tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Half Assed has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!

Half Assed tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Half Assed wants to control but Femme is keeping him busy.

Half Assed is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Femme has escaped the position, nice work there.
Half Assed working away.
The referee asks Half Assed politely if he wouldn't mind getting on with it and actually doing something. Half Assed prefers to stall for the moment though.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Femme tries to buck Half Assed off but Half Assed is having none of it.

Half Assed is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Femme has escaped the position, nice work there.
Femme is not content to let Half Assed control the position.

Half Assed goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Femme rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Half Assed's guard! Nice work there by Femme!
Femme is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.

Half Assed looking for subs off his back but Femme has passed one foot through into half guard.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Anti Half Assed will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Half Assed bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Half Assed paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Violent Femme seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Half Assed looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Femme is fending him off so far but Half Assed persists. Nope, Femme circles away and we're back to standing.
Half Assed shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Half Assed misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Femme.
Half Assed tries a head kick but it misses.
Femme now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Femme connects with a looping right hand.
Femme with a hook.
Femme lands a nice shot that snaps Half Assed's head back.
Femme throws a poor cross that misses
and Half Assed counters with a low kick, right behind Femme 's knee.
Half Assed is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Femme.
Femme throws a hook to the side of Half Assed's head but Half Assed sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Femme swats away the attempt to clinch by Half Assed.
Femme jabs Half Assed right on the nose. Half Assed blinks but takes it well.

Half Assed scores with a takedown into Femme's guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Femme can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Half Assed controls the pace.
Half Assed tries to free his leg and advance position but Femme is retaining full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Femme wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Femme not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Half Assed will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Half Assed pushing down on Femme's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Half Assed is thwarting Femme's attempts to control the position.
Half Assed is trying to control. Femme wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.

Half Assed seems to be working for a kimura but Femme defends the submission attempt.
Femme has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Half Assed is working away from the top position though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Half Assed is trying to control the action in half guard but Femme is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Half Assed passes to full mount!
Femme really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Femme is squirming around, avoiding Half Assed's attempts to control the action.

Half Assed goes for an armbar but he's fallen flat on his backside there and now Femme is on top in guard.
Half Assed wants to sweep but no luck.
Half Assed is working hard here to advance position.
Femme must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.

Half Assed working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Femme doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Femme manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Anti Half Assed overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Half Assed is looking for a triangle but Femme pushes his legs off easily.
Femme wants to control from the top but Half Assed keeps moving.
Femme sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Half Assed's guard.
Half Assed trying to control from the bottom.
Half Assed is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Femme is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
Femme tries to pass to full mount but Half Assed defends it.
Half Assed moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Half Assed working a defensive guard here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.

Half Assed throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Femme trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Half Assed wants to hit a sweep here but Femme passes into full mount! Oh no, disaster for Half Assed there!
Half Assed is in all sorts of trouble here.
Femme trying to control but he's not successful this time.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Half Assed is looking to improve his position but Femme isn't that keen on the idea.
Femme looking to control but Half Assed is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Violent Femme will probably get the nod - 10:9.
That's time! Half Assed's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Femme throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
A telegraphed right hand from Femme misses the target.

Half Assed closes the distance and scores a nice trip takedown into half guard. Femme did well to prevent Half Assed getting side control.

Half Assed is looking for a kimura here.
Half Assed is taking a breather. Femme says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Femme is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Half Assed content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Half Assed is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Femme tries to roll over but Half Assed keeps him under control.
Femme trying to hold on to Half Assed's head to control him but Half Assed postures up.
Half Assed trying to control the action but Femme is working from the bottom.
Femme keeps control of the position for the meantime.
Let's hope that Femme has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.

Half Assed is looking for a kimura but Femme is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Half Assed to get the leverage.
Half Assed wants to control but Femme is keeping him busy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Femme wants to control but Half Assed is keeping busy and won't allow it.
The referee is asking the fighters to pick up the pace.
Femme is staying active underneath Half Assed, who seems content to just control the action from this position.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Femme misses with a straight left.
Half Assed slips a straight right by Femme.
Half Assed appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Femme misses the jab.
Femme misses with a hook. Half Assed ducked under it nicely.
Femme lands a nice looking body shot.
Femme misses with a shot to the body
and Half Assed counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Half Assed scores with a decent looking hook.
Femme cracks Half Assed with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Half Assed throws a leg kick but Femme sees it coming and moves out of range.
A slow jab from Femme misses its intended target.
Half Assed swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Half Assed swings for the body but Femme moves out of range.
Femme fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Femme throws a big shot that misses.
Femme jabs at Half Assed's body.
Half Assed blocks a jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Half Assed blocks a jab.
Femme misses with a looping left.
Violent Femme is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
A jab from Femme misses.
Half Assed throws a looping overhand right but Femme ducks down to avoid it.
A jab from Femme misses.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Half Assed.
Half Assed avoids the body shot from Femme.
Femme scores with a hook.
Half Assed shoots in looking for a takedown but Femme manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Half Assed's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Femme misses the shot to the body.
Half Assed throws a solid leg kick but Femme takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Half Assed.
Half Assed tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Femme defends well and Half Assed ends up having to push Femme into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Half Assed blocks an uppercut.
Femme fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Femme scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Half Assed.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Femme working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Femme tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Half Assed's elbow.
Femme blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Femme misses with the head strike.
Half Assed lands a body punch in the clinch.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Femme throws a punch but it's blocked by Half Assed.
Half Assed taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Femme swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Femme is trying to break the clinch but Half Assed has him pressed against the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Femme.
Femme misses with a punch to the body.
Femme has a couple of punches blocked by Half Assed.
Femme swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Half Assed misses with the head strike.

And that's the end of the fight!
Violent Femme comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Femme has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Ivan Kurochkin scores the fight 28:29
Judge Vladimir Khabensky scores the fight 29:29
Judge Sergei Dronov scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by majority decision... Violent Femme!