PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Conor The Barbarian (ranked 11 p4p, 47 weight class) and Massive Wanker (ranked 2 p4p, 9 weight class). Wanker has chosen Running Free as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Conor The Barbarian could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Massive Wanker's chin.

The Barbarian
vs
Wanker

202 cm
32
278
36 - 9 - 0

225 cm
30
282
25 - 5 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing
SynCity Fightwear

Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)
Perkele!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 36 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Conor The Barbarian!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 25 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Frank Antenori and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The Barbarian pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Wanker comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
The Barbarian takes a head kick and keeps coming.

It looks like Conor The Barbarian has been cut.
Wanker with a hook.
Wanker throws a body shot but no joy.
Massive Wanker seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A solid leg kick lands there for Wanker.
Wanker is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
The Barbarian throws a nice inside leg kick.
The Barbarian throws a series of punches but Wanker avoids them all with ease.
Wanker throws the kick towards the body but The Barbarian avoids it.
Wanker with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Wanker misses with a looping right.
Wanker ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The Barbarian buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker scores with a head kick. The Barbarian tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
We've been informed that Wanker has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Wanker tries to clinch but The Barbarian moves out of range.
Wanker misses with a straight right.
The Barbarian throws a right hand that misses
letting Wanker counter with a right hand.

Conor The Barbarian's cut is getting worse.

Wanker moves into range and throws a big uppercut. OH! The Barbarian goes down! Can Wanker finish him!?
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Wanker trying to control but The Barbarian is working from the bottom.
Wanker might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control The Barbarian haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
The Barbarian keeping full guard, as Wanker tries to pass.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker wants to control from the top but The Barbarian keeps moving.
Wanker advances position into side control!
The Barbarian prevents Wanker from moving into mount.
The Barbarian might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Wanker tries for a kimura but The Barbarian is defending well.
The Barbarian wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian stops Wanker from passing to mount.

Wanker working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.

Wanker tries for a kimura but The Barbarian is defending well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Wanker tries to move into full mount but can't pass The Barbarian's legs.
The Barbarian is trying to escape and get back to his feet.
Wanker trying to control the action but The Barbarian is working from the bottom.
Wanker works to advance to full mount. The Barbarian defends for a few seconds but eventually he succumbs.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Massive Wanker dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Conor The Barbarian's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Wanker throws out a powerful jab.
Wanker scores with a hook to the body. The Barbarian takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
The Barbarian avoids the body shot from Wanker.
The Barbarian blocks a jab.
The fighters circling - Wanker throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
A little feinted left hand from The Barbarian on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
The Barbarian misses the jab.
Wanker shapes to counter with a head kick.
The Barbarian keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Massive Wanker seems to be getting the better of the standup.
The Barbarian blocks a head kick by Wanker.
The Barbarian looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
The Barbarian ducks under a wild hook from Wanker.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Wanker looking to land some kicks to the body here.
The Barbarian throws a counter high kick but Wanker was just alert enough to avoid it.
The Barbarian scores with the left hand. Wanker knows he should have avoided that one.
A nice leg kick lands there from Wanker.
Nice straight punches there by The Barbarian. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of The Barbarian.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker misses with a looping left.
Wanker throws a sloppy body shot

and The Barbarian counters with a nice right hand that sends Wanker toppling to the canvas! Wanker scrambles and gets back to his feet - can The Barbarian finish him?!

Wanker is rocked!
The Barbarian throws a looping overhand right but Wanker ducks down to avoid it.

Wanker drives through and clinches with The Barbarian against the cage.

The Barbarian pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
The Barbarian misses the jab.
The Barbarian misses with a looping left.
Wanker tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
The Barbarian takes a kick to the side of the head.
Wanker misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Wanker tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but The Barbarian paws at him with a jab and circles away.
The Barbarian avoids the body shot from Wanker.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker moves out of range of the strikes.
The Barbarian uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Wanker.
Wanker throws a hook but The Barbarian blocks it.
Wanker throws a body shot but no joy.
The Barbarian half committed to a counter leg kick.
Wanker has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Wanker throws a good cross that connects.

Conor The Barbarian's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
The Barbarian tries to move into range but Wanker moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
The Barbarian throws a sloppy head kick and Wanker moves out of range easily.
The Barbarian ducks under a wild hook from Wanker.
Wanker misses with a head kick.
The Barbarian throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Wanker thuds his right hand into The Barbarian's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.

Jeez, Conor The Barbarian's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Wanker takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The Barbarian moves out of range of the body kick from Wanker.
Wanker tries to close the distance and clinch up but The Barbarian swats him away and circles back towards the center.
The Barbarian swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Wanker is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
The Barbarian is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Conor The Barbarian's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:31 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Massive Wanker!
Massive Wanker is the new heavyweight champion!
Massive Wanker decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.
In defeat, Conor The Barbarian stepped up to the mic, saying 'Crom ...'.