PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Massive Wanker (ranked 14 p4p, 38 weight class) and Conor The Barbarian (ranked 3 p4p, 6 weight class). Wanker comes to the cage accompanied by Running Free. Massive Wanker has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Wanker
vs
The Barbarian

225 cm
30
282
26 - 5 - 0

202 cm
33
278
36 - 10 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Perkele!
Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)

SynCity Fightwear
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 26 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 36 - 10 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Conor The Barbarian!
The judges for this bout are Shigeki Fujiwara, Sosuke Kotani and Shirou Masuda.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Wanker feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits The Barbarians jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!

It looks like Conor The Barbarian has been cut.
Wanker has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
The Barbarian fails in his attempt to clinch.
The Barbarian is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
The Barbarian avoids the body shot from Wanker.
Wanker really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Wanker misses with a right hand
and The Barbarian counters with a stiff right hand.
Wanker scores with a head kick. The Barbarian tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Wanker throws a lazy body kick
and The Barbarian counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.

The Barbarian moves into range and clinches up with Wanker.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Wanker misses with a hook from the clinch.
Wanker takes a knee to the side of the body.
Wanker is breathing heavily.
The Barbarian works on Wanker's body with a couple of short punches.
Wanker's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
The Barbarian lands a right hand.

The Barbarian breaks the clinch.

The Barbarian rushes Wanker and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
A short uppercut from The Barbarian.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Barbarian throws a knee to the head but misses.
Wanker working some nice short punches in the clinch.
The Barbarian lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!

It looks like Massive Wanker has been cut.
The Barbarian with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
The Barbarian misses with a knee to the head.
The Barbarian crunches a lovely knee into Wanker's ribcage.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.
The Barbarian putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Wanker in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
The Barbarian working Wanker over with knees to the body.
The Barbarian tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
The Barbarian blocking some punches.

The Barbarian drops Wanker with a big knee straight up the middle! Wanker is covering up against the cage but manages to escape and gets back to his feet!
This has been an exciting period of action!

The Barbarian drives through and clinches with Wanker against the cage.
The Barbarian lands an uppercut.

Wanker is rocked!
The Barbarian lands a shoulder strike.
Oh Wanker is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!

The Barbarian drops Wanker onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Wanker is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!
The Barbarian lands a big knee to the head and Wanker goes down! The Barbarian pounces and finishes the fight with strikes! He jumps to his feet and celebrates with the crowd!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Conor The Barbarian!
Conor The Barbarian is the new heavyweight champion!
After winning the bout, Conor The Barbarian thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.