PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Rectal Thermometer (ranked 454 p4p, 443 weight class) and Gwynn Evans (ranked 66 p4p, 65 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Thermometer
vs
Evans

185 cm
26
194
12 - 4 - 0

191 cm
25
185
13 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Granite chin

Olympic wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Voodoo Nutrition
Conquer

Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)
Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Rectal Thermometer!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 5 - 0, fighting out of London, Gwynn Evans!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Bishop, James Ackerman and Colin Fotheringham.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Thermometer with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Evans to score with a decent uppercut.
Evans has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.

Thermometer moves into the clinch.
Thermometer working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Evans struggles to land a body shot inside as Thermometer controls his hands.
Thermometer lands a left hand.
Thermometer misses with a body punch.
Evans struggles to land a body shot inside as Thermometer controls his hands.
Evans blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Evans blocks an uppercut.
Thermometer blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Thermometer lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Evans prevents a body shot from Thermometer.
Thermometer blocking some punches.
A body shot lands from Thermometer.
Evans lands a body punch in the clinch.
Evans blocking some punches.
Evans blocking some punches.
Thermometer misses with a short punch on the inside.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Evans misses with a body punch.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Evans.
Thermometer lands a body shot in the clinch.
Thermometer lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Evans backwards.
Evans misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thermometer misses with a shot to the kidneys.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thermometer misses with a punch on the inside.
Thermometer misses with a hook to the ribs.
A body shot lands from Evans.
Thermometer fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Thermometer fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Evans gets through Thermometer's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Thermometer misses with a punch on the inside.
Evans has a couple of punches blocked by Thermometer.
Thermometer works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Thermometer working aggressively here.
Evans swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Evans lands with a right to the head.
Evans doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Thermometer can't find room to land a body shot as Evans controls the action.
Thermometer misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thermometer working aggressively here.
Evans throws a head punch that misses.
Good body shot from Thermometer.
Thermometer goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Thermometer lands a right hand.
Evans blocks an uppercut.
A short uppercut from Evans.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Thermometer throws a head punch that misses.
Thermometer lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Thermometer misses with a body punch.
Evans misses with some punches.
Evans misses with a punch on the inside.
Thermometer misses with a shot to the kidneys.
A hook to the body from Thermometer.
Good body shot from Thermometer.
Thermometer misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thermometer misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thermometer misses with some punches.
Evans tries to throw a body punch but Thermometer avoids it by throwing Evans back against the cage.
Evans gets through Thermometer's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Thermometer lands a right hand that snaps the head of Evans backwards.
Thermometer misses with a punch on the inside.
Evans misses with a punch on the inside.
Thermometer digs a right hand underneath Evans's ribcage. Evans let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Thermometer throws a punch but it's blocked by Evans.
Thermometer misses with a hook from the clinch.
Evans lands a right hand.
Evans misses with the head strike.
Evans lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Evans doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Evans lands a body punch.
Evans misses with a body punch.
Evans working aggressively here.
Evans scores with a shoulder strike.
Evans digs a right hand into Thermometer's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Thermometer's gas tank.
Thermometer swings wildly with an uppercut but Evans uses good head movement to avoid it.
Thermometer blocks a body shot from Evans.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thermometer.
Evans blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Evans tries a body shot but Thermometer blocks it.
Thermometer working aggressively here.
Thermometer throws a punch but it's blocked by Evans.
Thermometer pushes Evans back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Evans.
Thermometer blocking some punches.
Thermometer lands a body shot in the clinch.
Thermometer blocking some punches.
Thermometer scores with a nice hook to the head.
Thermometer lands a shoulder strike.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Evans lands with a short shot to the head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Thermometer lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Evans blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Thermometer throws a head punch that misses.
Evans digs a right hand into Thermometer's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Thermometer's gas tank.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Thermometer.
Thermometer misses with the head strike.
A right hook to the body lands for Evans.
Thermometer swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Evans lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Thermometer misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thermometer misses with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch on the inside from Thermometer fails to land.
A left hand lands to the body for Thermometer.
Thermometer throws a punch but it's blocked by Evans.
Evans misses with a short punch on the inside.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Evans working aggressively here.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Evans.
Thermometer working aggressively here.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Evans.
Thermometer fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Rectal Thermometer dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Thermometer checks the leg kick nicely there.
Thermometer stuns Evans with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Thermometer loads up on a big right hand but Evans slips the punch.
Thermometer misses with a hook. Evans ducked under it nicely.
Thermometer swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Thermometer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Evans.
Nice body punch from Thermometer.
Thermometer on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Evans attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Thermometer misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Evans.
Thermometer thows a left - swing and a miss!
Evans tries to land a leg kick but Thermometer saw it coming and moves away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thermometer takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Thermometer throws a shot from downtown. Evans moves away and avoids it.
Evans gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Evans scores with a jab. Thermometer acknowledges it with a nod of the head.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Thermometer misses with a hook
and Evans counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Evans connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Evans lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Evans on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Evans uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Thermometer.
Evans ducks under a wild hook from Thermometer.
We are yet to see a takedown attempt from Evans in the fight. On paper you would think he is the more dominant ground fighter so let's see if these unusual tactics pay off.
Evans keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Thermometer throws an off balance right hand
and Evans counters with a good low kick that Thermometer was not able to check.
Thermometer misses the shot to the body.
Thermometer tries to clinch up.
Thermometer seems to be moving with more speed, compared to his last bout. He must have been working on that in the gym.
Thermometer tries to clinch up.
Rectal Thermometer seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Evans thuds his right hand into Thermometer's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Thermometer misses with a hook. Evans ducked under it nicely.
A swing and a miss from Thermometer.
Evans swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Gwynn Evans seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Evans defending well as Thermometer loads up on a big left hand.
A clash of legs there as Thermometer blocks the low kick.
Evans takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Evans throws a leg kick but Thermometer sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Thermometer moves in looking to clinch but Evans pushes him off.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Evans finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Evans staying out of range there.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Thermometer misses with a wild body shot.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thermometer. Evans does a little dance to reset his feet.
Thermometer throws the left hand but Evans avoids the punch easily.
Evans misses with a series of wild punches.
Thermometer keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Evans.
Thermometer misses the jab.
Thermometer misses with a hook. Evans ducked under it nicely.
Evans looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Thermometer swings for the body but Evans moves out of range.
Evans is looking to slow Thermometer down with leg kicks.
Thermometer misses with a looping left.
Evans looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
A big left from Thermometer misses.
Evans takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Evans is looking to slow Thermometer down with leg kicks.
Thermometer throws a lazy right hand but Evans sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Evans misses.
Thermometer scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Evans doesn't seem bothered though.
Thermometer misses with a hook. Evans ducked under it nicely.
Evans slips a jab from Thermometer.
Thermometer bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Thermometer on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Evans throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Thermometer sees it coming and avoids it easily.
A looping hook to the body misses from Thermometer. Evans does a little dance to reset his feet.
Evans looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Evans scoring well with a low kick there.
Evans throws a shot from downtown. Thermometer moves away and avoids it.
Evans throws the kick towards the body but Thermometer avoids it.
Thermometer bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Thermometer swings widly with a right hand
and Evans counters with a nice leg kick.
Thermometer swings for the body but Evans moves out of range.
Thermometer scores with a jab to the jaw.
Thermometer throws a lazy right hand but Evans sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Evans cracks Thermometer with a right hand to the side of the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thermometer throws a body shot but no joy.
Nice defenses there by Evans.
Evans avoids the body shot from Thermometer.
Evans throws a fast counter high kick but Thermometer manages to duck under it in time.
Thermometer throws a hook but Evans avoids it easily.
Evans appeared to try and counter that last move with a leg kick.
Evans does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Thermometer wants to take advantage of his opponent's missed offense by moving into the clinch.
Thermometer misses with a wild body shot.
Evans lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Thermometer swings for the body but Evans moves out of range.

Thermometer has Evans up against the cage in a clinch.
Thermometer tries a body shot but Evans blocks it.
Evans lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Thermometer or not.
Thermometer lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Evans softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Thermometer misses with a body punch.
Evans stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Evans throws a punch but it's blocked by Thermometer.
Thermometer lands with a left to the head.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Rectal Thermometer will probably get the nod.
That's time! Back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Evans moves into range and clinches up with Thermometer.
Thermometer lands a nice uppercut.
Thermometer swings wildly with an uppercut but Evans uses good head movement to avoid it.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Evans.
Evans lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thermometer.
Evans throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Thermometers head.
Evans lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Evans working aggressively here.
Thermometer blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Evans lands a body shot in the clinch.
A body shot lands from Thermometer.
Evans lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Thermometer misses with a punch on the inside.
A head punch on the inside from Evans fails to land.
Evans blocks an uppercut.
Thermometer scores with a shot to the side of Evans's head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Thermometer swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Thermometer blocks a body shot from Evans.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Evans misses with a punch to the body.
Evans misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thermometer tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Evans's elbow.
A shot in the inside from Thermometer.
A head punch on the inside from Evans fails to land.
A nice left hand lands by Thermometer.
Thermometer has a couple of punches blocked by Evans.
Rectal Thermometer has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Thermometer takes a shot to the head.
Evans misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thermometer misses with a hook to the ribs.
A body shot lands from Thermometer.
Thermometer lands a hook that snaps the head of Evans backwards.
Thermometer lands a right hand that snaps the head of Evans backwards.
Thermometer misses with a punch on the inside.
Thermometer blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Evans misses with a hook from the clinch.
A short left from Thermometer.
Thermometer misses with a hook from the clinch.
Evans swings away with an uppercut that misses.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Thermometer misses with a punch to the body.
Rectal Thermometer is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Evans misses with a body punch.
Evans misses with some punches.
Evans tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Evans misses with a body punch.
Thermometer throws a punch but it's blocked by Evans.
Evans misses with a hook to the ribs.
Evans misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Evans tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Evans misses with a body punch.
Evans works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Evans struggles to land a body shot inside as Thermometer controls his hands.
Thermometer blocking some punches.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Evans tries to work over Thermometer's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Evans tries to work over Thermometer's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Evans misses with a body punch.
Evans has a couple of punches blocked by Thermometer.
Evans misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thermometer prevents a body shot from Evans.
Thermometer blocking some punches.
Thermometer throws a head punch that misses.
Evans misses with a punch on the inside.
Thermometer blocks an uppercut.
Thermometer blocking some punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Evans misses with some punches.
Evans's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Evans lands a right hand.
Evans lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Thermometer backwards.
Thermometer prevents a body shot from Evans.
Evans doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Evans scores with a shot to the side of Thermometer's head.
Evans misses with a hook to the ribs.
Evans misses with a punch on the inside.
Evans goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Evans struggles to land a body shot inside as Thermometer controls his hands.
Gwynn Evans has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Evans throws a punch but it's blocked by Thermometer.

And that's the end of the fight!
Gwynn Evans comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Thermometer has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 29:28
Judge James Ackerman scores the fight 29:28
Judge Colin Fotheringham scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Rectal Thermometer!
After the big win, Rectal Thermometer made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors Conquer and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.