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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Schmorgen Biscuit (ranked 1896 p4p, 2985 weight class) and Turd McPherson (ranked 68 p4p, 119 weight class). Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?
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| 183 cm
40
223
35 - 35 - 0 |
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225 cm
41
288
20 - 14 - 0 |
Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Very quick |
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Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Powerful |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 35 - 35 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Schmorgen Biscuit!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 14 - 0, fighting out of New York, Turd McPherson!
The judges for this bout are Kenichi Hosakawa, Sosuke Kotani and Shirou Masuda.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Biscuit scores with a crisp jab that stopped McPherson in his tracks.
McPherson closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - McPherson lands in his opponent's guard.
McPherson looking to sit in guard and control but Biscuit gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Biscuit content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
McPherson throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
McPherson preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Biscuit is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
McPherson looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Biscuit working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
McPherson throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
That's one minute gone in the round.
McPherson is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
McPherson is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Biscuit is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but McPherson pulls his head out easily.
McPherson is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
McPherson sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Biscuit defending well though.
McPherson sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Biscuit defending well though.
McPherson missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
Biscuit moves into full guard.
Biscuit avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Biscuit looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
McPherson is looking to work some ground and pound but Biscuit has wrist control.
Biscuit looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
McPherson must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
McPherson lands a couple of elbows.
McPherson with a flurry of punches that miss.
Biscuit is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
McPherson distracts Biscuit with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Biscuit looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Biscuit looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
McPherson wants to control from the top but Biscuit keeps moving.
McPherson looking to sit in guard and control but Biscuit gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McPherson has his foot on Biscuit's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Biscuit works his way back into a safe position though.
Biscuit trying to control but McPherson is working from the bottom.
Biscuit trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Biscuit with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
McPherson is looking for a triangle but Biscuit pushes his legs off easily.
McPherson is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
McPherson is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Biscuit defends well.
McPherson is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Biscuit is aware though and is defending well.
Biscuit working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of McPherson's head.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
McPherson keeping moving, preventing Biscuit from controlling successfully.
Biscuit chips away with some ground and pound.
McPherson has his foot on Biscuit's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Biscuit works his way back into a safe position though.
Biscuit connects with a couple of short punches.
McPherson is trying to keep Biscuit in close.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Biscuit missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Biscuit landing with the ground and pound.
McPherson working for a triangle but Biscuit defends it easily.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Biscuit trying to control but McPherson is working from the bottom.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.
A close round but Turd McPherson will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.
Biscuit keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
McPherson fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Biscuit avoids it really well and circles away.
Biscuit throwing a counter right hand but McPherson manages to avoid it.
Biscuit fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Turd McPherson seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
McPherson throws a sloppy head kick and Biscuit moves out of range easily.
It looked like Biscuit was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from McPherson.
McPherson throws a body kick that misses
and Biscuit counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Biscuit connects with a nice short shot to McPherson's temple.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Biscuit is trying to control. McPherson wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
McPherson wants to get back to full guard.
McPherson has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Biscuit is working away from the top position though.
Biscuit has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
McPherson is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Biscuit working McPherson over with strikes.
Schmorgen Biscuit overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
McPherson wants to improve his position but Biscuit is controlling well.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Biscuit lands a nice short elbow.
McPherson is trying to maintain the position but Biscuit is very close to passing his half guard.
Biscuit winds up and cracks McPherson with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
McPherson looking for submissions off his back.
McPherson wants to control but Biscuit is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Biscuit takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.
Biscuit thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
The fighters are battling for position here. McPherson manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Biscuit postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
McPherson keeping moving, preventing Biscuit from controlling successfully.
McPherson can't keep his opponent in guard - Biscuit advances to half guard, no doubt looking to mount.
Biscuit looks to score some points with some ground and pound.
McPherson is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Biscuit pulls his head out easily.
Biscuit winds up and cracks McPherson with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
McPherson wants to control but Biscuit is keeping busy.
McPherson wants to get back to full guard.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
McPherson is refusing to be controlled, as Biscuit sits in half guard.
McPherson wants to get back to full guard but Biscuit has passed into side control.
Biscuit is putting a hurting on McPherson here, landing some big shots from side control.
McPherson takes a nasty elbow to the side of the head.
Biscuit working the body and head with strikes.
McPherson tries to buck Biscuit off but Biscuit is having none of it.
Check out the look on Biscuit's face as he threw that strike - that's one determined fighter!
McPherson tries to improve position but can't.
McPherson can't do much from the bottom here.
Biscuit creates a bit of distance and throws down some hard shots.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
McPherson takes a couple of big shots there - the referee warns him that he has to defend himself better.
Biscuit is pausing for a moment. What's he doing? It looks like he's clearing his nose. Oh dude! He's shot a load of snot all down McPherson's shoulder. That is not cool.
Biscuit wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by McPherson, who protects the arm well.
Biscuit is looking to take a break and control but McPherson is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
McPherson can't do much from the bottom here.
McPherson taking punishment in the form of punches.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
McPherson is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Biscuit trying to control the position but McPherson is working away.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.
Schmorgen Biscuit dominated that second round.
That's time! Biscuit's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!
McPherson shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Biscuit counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
McPherson tries to get to full guard but Biscuit has control of the leg.
McPherson trying to control from the bottom.
McPherson is trying is best to control the position here.
Biscuit seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Biscuit is taking a breather. McPherson says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
The fighters are battling for position here. McPherson manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Biscuit preventing the sweep.
Biscuit content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Biscuit avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Biscuit distracts McPherson with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
That's one minute gone in the round.
McPherson looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
McPherson is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Biscuit defends well.
McPherson takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Biscuit lands a couple of decent looking shots.
McPherson is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Biscuit lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
McPherson had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Biscuit defends it easily.
Biscuit trying to control but McPherson is working from the bottom.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
McPherson looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Biscuit passes into half guard.
Biscuit is scoring with some nice ground and pound from the dominant position.
McPherson is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Biscuit's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Biscuit's back!
Biscuit wants to escape the position.
Biscuit might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Biscuit manages to escape to a better position under a series of strikes. McPherson is now in side control.
McPherson trying to control the position but Biscuit is working away.
McPherson works a knee to the body and follows up with a nice elbow to the head.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Biscuit is not content to let McPherson control the position.
Biscuit tries to buck McPherson off but McPherson is having none of it.
Biscuit avoids any damage from the ground and pound of McPherson.
Biscuit sneaks back into half guard.
Biscuit looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Biscuit looking for submissions off his back.
Biscuit taking some punishment here, with McPherson in his half guard.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
McPherson takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.
Biscuit is trying to get back to full guard.
Biscuit is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that McPherson can do to turn this around?
Biscuit regains full guard. Nicely done.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
McPherson is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.
McPherson trying to control the position from guard on top but Biscuit is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Biscuit working for a triangle but McPherson defends it easily.
And that's the end of the fight!
Schmorgen Biscuit showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Biscuit has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Kenichi Hosakawa scores the fight 29:28
Judge Sosuke Kotani scores the fight 29:28
Judge Shirou Masuda scores the fight 29:28
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Schmorgen Biscuit!
Schmorgen Biscuit made sure to mention his sponsor, Brooklyn Apothecary in his post fight interview.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
34% |
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