PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dude McWrestler (ranked 94 p4p, 2673 weight class) and Mehdi Kanaani (ranked 4 p4p, 114 weight class). McWrestler comes to the cage accompanied by Lil Baby - On Me. Kanaani has chosen Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg - Nuthin' But A G Thang as his entrance music. Both fighter's entrance songs getting the crowd jumping here.

McWrestler
vs
Kanaani

180 cm
28
174
18 - 8 - 0

170 cm
28
173
16 - 12 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

The Dirty Needle Project
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Brooklyn Apothecary
Brooklyn Threads

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Dude McWrestler!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 16 - 12 - 0, fighting out of New York, Mehdi Kanaani!
The judges for this bout are James Ackerman, Steven Brown and Donald Grub.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McWrestler jabs Kanaani to the body, keeping him at a distance.
McWrestler lands with a good body shot.
McWrestler swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Kanaani tries a head kick but it misses.
McWrestler is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Kanaani.
McWrestler jabs at Kanaani's body.
Kanaani tries to close the distance and clinch up but McWrestler swats him away and circles back towards the center.
An attempted straight right counter from McWrestler misses the target.
A big left from McWrestler misses.
Kanaani tries to clinch but McWrestler is having none of it.
McWrestler swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
McWrestler punishes Kanaani's body with a nice straight punch.
McWrestler smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Kanaani wants to clinch up but McWrestler keeps it at a distance.
Kanaani throws a right and a left that McWrestler avoids nicely.
Kanaani wants to clinch.
McWrestler scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.

It looks like Mehdi Kanaani has been cut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kanaani looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? McWrestler is fending him off so far but Kanaani persists. Nope, McWrestler circles away and we're back to standing.

Kanaani shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Kanaani was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Kanaani throws a strike aimed at the side of McWrestler's head but McWrestler avoids it well.
McWrestler is looking for a sweep.
McWrestler can't do much from the bottom here.
McWrestler sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Kanaani is thwarting McWrestler's attempts to control the position.
Kanaani missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
Kanaani throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler lands with a few short shots to the body.
McWrestler slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Kanaani throwing strikes but missing.
Kanaani postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Kanaani is looking to work some ground and pound but McWrestler has wrist control.
McWrestler is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
McWrestler tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Kanaani is fighting to break McWrestler's control of his arms but McWrestler is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Kanaani preventing the sweep.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Kanaani is looking to work some ground and pound but McWrestler has wrist control.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
McWrestler throws a shot to the body.
McWrestler scores with a crisp jab that stopped Kanaani in his tracks.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler thuds a left hand into Kanaani's body.
McWrestler connects with a single shot there.
McWrestler throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Kanaani on the side of the head.
Kanaani fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
McWrestler throws a sloppy body shot

and Kanaani counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Kanaani.
McWrestler throws a head punch that misses.
Kanaani goes for a takedown in the clinch but McWrestler prevents it.
I was talking to McWrestler's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Dude McWrestler has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Mehdi Kanaani.
Kanaani prevents a body shot from McWrestler.
McWrestler has Kanaani pushed against the cage.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
McWrestler prevents a body shot from Kanaani.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler can't find room to land a body shot as Kanaani controls the action.
McWrestler tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Kanaani's elbow.
McWrestler lands a shot to the body.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
McWrestler lands a right hand that snaps the head of Kanaani backwards.
McWrestler scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Kanaani misses with a hook to the ribs.
McWrestler tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

McWrestler breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
McWrestler slips a jab from Kanaani.
Kanaani shoots for a takedown but McWrestler saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Kanaani looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
McWrestler was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Dude McWrestler is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
McWrestler cracks Kanaani with a right hand to the side of the head.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Dude McWrestler dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Mehdi Kanaani's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare each other down, ready to get back to the action.

Kanaani avoids the body shot from McWrestler.
Kanaani lands a jab-cross combination.

Kanaani closes the distance and pushes McWrestler back into the cage.
McWrestler tries to work over Kanaani's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
McWrestler fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
McWrestler misses with a shot to the kidneys.
McWrestler is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Kanaani blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
McWrestler has Kanaani pushed against the cage.
Kanaani is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but McWrestler is defending well.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
McWrestler lands a left hand.
McWrestler's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Kanaani misses with the head strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWrestler is struggling to control the position.
McWrestler is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Kanaani can do to turn this around?
Kanaani tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
McWrestler lands a left hand that snaps the head of Kanaani backwards.
McWrestler lands a shot to the body.
Kanaani lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
McWrestler lands a hook to the side of the head.
McWrestler's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
McWrestler is stalling here.

Kanaani breaks the clinch.
McWrestler ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kanaani moves away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A swing and a miss from McWrestler.
Mehdi Kanaani is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Kanaani pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Kanaani takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Good standup being displayed there by McWrestler as he connects with a hook.
McWrestler wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
A jab from McWrestler misses.
Kanaani unleashes a big counter combination but McWrestler bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.

Kanaani clinches up against the cage.

McWrestler breaks from the clinch.
Kanaani misses with a hook. McWrestler ducked under it nicely.
A jab from McWrestler misses.
Kanaani closes this distance looking for a takedown but McWrestler circles away.
A decent looking cross lands there for McWrestler.
Kanaani has his takedown stuffed
and McWrestler counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Dude McWrestler has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Mehdi Kanaani.
Kanaani tries to score a power double leg takedown but McWrestler sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Kanaani somewhat.
McWrestler was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler misses with a looping left.
A little jabbing left from Kanaani on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Kanaani throws a poor cross that misses
and McWrestler counters with a lovely straight right hand!
McWrestler sizes up Kanaani with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
McWrestler ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kanaani moves away.
As McWrestler backs off Kanaani throws a huge counter combo but McWrestler manages to avoid it all.
McWrestler misses with a body shot.
A looping hook to the body misses from McWrestler. Kanaani does a little dance to reset his feet.
McWrestler looks to land a left hand but Kanaani moved out of range nicely.
McWrestler circles away from the clinch attempt.
McWrestler misses with an uppercut. Kanaani saw that one coming.
Kanaani closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kanaani shoots in looking for a takedown but McWrestler manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Kanaani's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
McWrestler was looking to counter that last move with a shot to the body but he didn't commit.
Kanaani keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
A little jabbing left from Kanaani on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Kanaani throws a head kick but McWrestler moves out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler blocks a head kick by Kanaani.
McWrestler lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Kanaani backs up against the cage.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kanaani is looking to clinch but McWrestler is avoiding it.
Kanaani takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
McWrestler lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
McWrestler connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Dude McWrestler is winning the standup battle so far.
Kanaani walks into a straight right hand from McWrestler.
Kanaani takes a body punch but keeps moving.
McWrestler throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
McWrestler throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
McWrestler throws a hook but Kanaani blocks it.
Kanaani fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but McWrestler avoids it really well and circles away.
McWrestler swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Dude McWrestler dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Mehdi Kanaani's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Kanaani throws a head kick that misses.
Kanaani throws a head kick but McWrestler moves out of range.
McWrestler throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Kanaani misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
McWrestler moves out of range of the strikes.
Kanaani shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with McWrestler but McWrestler pushes him off and we're back to square one.
McWrestler takes a swing at Kanaani's ribcage but misses.
A little jabbing left from Kanaani on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Kanaani is looking to clinch.
A swing and a miss from McWrestler.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kanaani tries for a takedown but McWrestler sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Kanaani shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. McWrestler defends it nicely.
Dude McWrestler has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Mehdi Kanaani.

Kanaani drives through with a takedown into McWrestler's guard. Let's see what he can do from the top position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McWrestler is pulling down on Kanaani's head to control his posture.
McWrestler bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Kanaani's guard.

Kanaani wants to get back to his feet but McWrestler is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells McWrestler's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
McWrestler trying to control but Kanaani is working from the bottom.
Kanaani working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from McWrestler.
McWrestler is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
McWrestler has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
McWrestler scoring with some ground and pound.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler trying to control but Kanaani is working from the bottom.
McWrestler throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
McWrestler loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
McWrestler trying to control but Kanaani is working from the bottom.
Mehdi Kanaani has got the better of the ground game so far.
McWrestler stands up over Kanaani, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
McWrestler is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
McWrestler controlling from the top position.
McWrestler chips away with some ground and pound.
Kanaani is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McWrestler with a flurry of punches that miss.
Kanaani really doesn't want to stay on the ground with McWrestler. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
McWrestler trying to control but Kanaani is working from the bottom.
McWrestler is stalling in the full guard.
McWrestler trying to control but Kanaani is working from the bottom.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up.
Kanaani uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from McWrestler.
McWrestler lands with an overhand left.
A jab from McWrestler does it's job there.
Kanaani shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says McWrestler as he avoids it easily.
A quick step to the side and McWrestler tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
McWrestler swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
It seemed like Kanaani was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kanaani takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Kanaani takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Kanaani has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
McWrestler bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
McWrestler throws a right hand that misses
and Kanaani counters with a left to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Kanaani steps to the side to avoid the strikes from McWrestler.
Kanaani is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Kanaani takes a jab right on the kisser.
Mehdi Kanaani has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Kanaani misses with a takedown attempt
and McWrestler counters with a straight right hand.
The fighters circling - Kanaani throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
McWrestler attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Kanaani will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dude McWrestler showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for McWrestler, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Ackerman scores the fight 30:27
Judge Steven Brown scores the fight 30:27
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dude McWrestler!
Dude McWrestler decided to go for the less than humble approach in his post fight interview, telling everyone how he is going to conquer the world. The crowd seemed to like it when really that sort of approach could have gone either way.