PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Kurt Cobain (ranked 520 p4p, 598 weight class) and Conspiracy Theorist (ranked 77 p4p, 89 weight class). Cobain comes to the cage accompanied by Smells Like Teen Spirit. Both fighters will be looking to make this an exciting fight for the fans, I'm sure!

Cobain
vs
Theorist

178 cm
28
158
16 - 11 - 0

179 cm
30
160
15 - 10 - 1

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Granite chin

Paddy's Enhancing Drugs (160Q)

Arcticus University: London

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 16 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Kurt Cobain!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 10 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Conspiracy Theorist!
The judges for this bout are Shigeki Fujiwara, Yuuki Gou and Taro Takaoka.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cobain keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Conspiracy Theorist seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cobain missing with a left hand there. Theorist was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Cobain ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Cobain fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Theorist with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Theorist fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Cobain on the side of the head.
Theorist lands with a nice body punch.
Cobain scoring well with a low kick there.
Theorist misses the shot to the body.
Cobain misses with a low kick.
Cobain dips to his left and cracks Theorist with an uppercut!
Theorist throws a predictable looking body shot
and Cobain counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Theorist throws a jab when Cobain was well out of range.
Cobain scores with a jab to the body.
Theorist moves out of range as Cobain strikes.
Theorist tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Theorist misses with a body shot.
As Theorist backs away, Cobain returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.
Theorist walks into a stiff left hand from Cobain.
Cobain scores with a jab. Theorist acknowledges it with a nod of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cobain uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Theorist.
Theorist has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Cobain.
Cobain has been working on his boxing with his coaches at Team Grunt in the buildup to the fight.
Theorist needs to keep his hands up - Cobain had a free shot at his head there.
Theorist lands with a cross.
Theorist pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Theorist throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Theorist looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
A big right from Theorist misses.
Cobain looks to land a left hand but Theorist moved out of range nicely.
Theorist missing with a left hand there. Cobain was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
A jab from Theorist misses.
Cobain lands a two punch combo.
Cobain avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Cobain scores with a jab to the jaw.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cobain moves out of range as Theorist strikes.
Theorist misses the body punch
and Cobain counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Theorist throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Cobain seem to be loading up, looking for a big counter.
Cobain throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cobain fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Theorist walks into a stiff left hand from Cobain.
Cobain scores with a nice strike.
Cobain misses the shot to the body.
Cobain avoids the body shot from Theorist.
Cobain moves out of range as Theorist strikes.
Cobain tries a head kick but it misses.
Cobain misses with a lunging right hand
and Theorist counters with a nice uppercut.
Nice uppercut there from Theorist.
Cobain throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
A little jabbing left from Theorist on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Cobain moves away from the strike by Theorist.
Theorist lands a nice looking body shot.
Cobain misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Theorist.
Cobain keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Cobain feints and then cracks Theorist's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Theorist down.
Cobain uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Theorist.
Cobain jabs Theorist right on the nose. Theorist blinks but takes it well.
Theorist fails in his attempt to clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Theorist throws an overhand right that lands on Cobain's shoulder, as Cobain tries to avoid the shot.
Cobain seem to be loading up, looking for a big counter.
A big right from Theorist misses.
Cobain throws a good cross that connects.
A slapping leg kick lands for Cobain.
Theorist scores with a jab to the jaw.
Theorist throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Cobain is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Cobain thuds his right hand into Theorist's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Cobain jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Cobain throws a looping overhand right but Theorist ducks down to avoid it.
Theorist throws a body shot but no joy.
Theorist checks a leg kick.
Theorist misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cobain.
Cobain throws a nice inside leg kick.
Theorist throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Cobain sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cobain displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Theorist throws out the jab.
Cobain looks to land a combination. Theorist sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.

It looks like Conspiracy Theorist has been cut.
Nice cross by Theorist.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cobain throws a nice inside leg kick.
Theorist tests Cobain's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Theorist bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Cobain moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Theorist catches Cobain with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Theorist throws the left hand but Cobain avoids the punch easily.
Cobain is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Theorist scores with a shot to the body.
Cobain lands with an uppercut that bounces Theorist off the cage and back into range.
Cobain scores with a crisp jab that stopped Theorist in his tracks.

Theorist is rocked!
Cobain ducks under a wild hook from Theorist.
Theorist is still on wobbly legs! Can Cobain finish him?
Cobain scores with a hook to the body. Theorist takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Cobain drops Theorist with a huge uppercut! Theorist drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Cobain is raining down punches and the ref stops the fight! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:41 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Kurt Cobain!
A relieved looking Kurt Cobain thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.