PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd (ranked 2182 p4p, 3902 weight class) and Hoyce Gracias (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Nerdspoof The 3rd's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Loser. Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Nerdspoof The 3rd
vs
Gracias

182 cm
21
174
4 - 2 - 0

190 cm
25
185
1 - 1 - 1

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Granite chin

Excellent grappler
World class boxer
Fast

The Pharmacy Phuket
Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 1, fighting out of London, Hoyce Gracias!
The judges for this bout are Francis DeMontford, Eliza Hachem and John Mangel.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Nerdspoof The 3rd decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is looking to advance position but Gracias won't allow it.
Nerdspoof The 3rd performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Nerdspoof The 3rd trying to control from half guard but Gracias is working away.

Nerdspoof The 3rd seems to be looking for submissions.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gracias wants to improve his position but Nerdspoof The 3rd is controlling well.

Nerdspoof The 3rd is looking for a kimura but Gracias is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Nerdspoof The 3rd to get the leverage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Nerdspoof The 3rd wants to lay and pray for a moment but Gracias keeps working.

Nerdspoof The 3rd seems to be looking for submissions.
Gracias won't allow Nerdspoof The 3rd to pass to mount.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is trying to control the action in half guard but Gracias is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is really struggling to control Gracias but he's trying to hold on to the position.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Gracias has found himself in a tricky position here. He's been working his transitions in training so let's see if he can work his way out of it.
Nerdspoof The 3rd controlling the pace.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Hoyce Gracias is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Gracias takes a swing at Nerdspoof The 3rd's ribcage but misses.
Nerdspoof The 3rd scores with a sloppy right hand. Gracias should have avoided that one.
Gracias staying out of range there.
And Gracias tries to counter it with a takedown but Nerdspoof The 3rd pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Gracias moves forwards but Nerdspoof The 3rd connects with a nice, crisp jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Nerdspoof The 3rd manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Gracias on his heels. He'll look to pass Gracias's guard now, I'm sure.
Nerdspoof The 3rd not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Nerdspoof The 3rd throwing strikes but missing.
Gracias can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Nerdspoof The 3rd controls the pace.

Nerdspoof The 3rd avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Nerdspoof The 3rd seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Nerdspoof The 3rd advances position into side control!

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Nerdspoof The 3rd working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.

Nerdspoof The 3rd tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Nerdspoof The 3rd has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Nerdspoof The 3rd trying to control the position but Gracias is working away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Nerdspoof The 3rd remains in side control and seems content to stay there. It's a versatile position from which he can work both strikes and submissions, whilst maintaining that control, so maybe he'll sit here for a while.
Nerdspoof The 3rd looking to control but instead Gracias has slipped a leg in, to regain half guard.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Nerdspoof The 3rd in particular looking to stall.
Gracias trying to hold on to Nerdspoof The 3rd's head to control him but Nerdspoof The 3rd postures up.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Gracias actively working from the bottom here.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is trying to control. Gracias wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Gracias on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Horrible takedown attempt by Nerdspoof The 3rd or perhaps it was just good defense by Gracias, which made it look bad.

Nerdspoof The 3rd scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
Gracias is looking to regain half guard here but Nerdspoof The 3rd keeps moving and retains side control.
Nerdspoof The 3rd controlling the position.
Gracias is looking to regain half guard here but Nerdspoof The 3rd keeps moving and retains side control.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gracias is not content to let Nerdspoof The 3rd control the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gracias tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Nerdspoof The 3rd wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
Gracias gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.

Nerdspoof The 3rd is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.

Gracias looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Gracias is staying active underneath Nerdspoof The 3rd, who seems content to just control the action from this position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is stalling here. Gracias is in no mood to hang around though. He's locked up a kimura from the bottom! Nerdspoof The 3rd seems to be keeping calm but he's forced to roll out of the hold and Gracias has ended up in side control on the top. Nice work.

Gracias goes for an armbar! This could be all over! Wait, no, Nerdspoof The 3rd rolls with the submission and now he's on top in Gracias's guard! Nice work there by Nerdspoof The 3rd!
Nerdspoof The 3rd wants to control from the top but Gracias keeps moving.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Gracias can do to turn this around?
Nerdspoof The 3rd looking to sit in guard and control but Gracias gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

Gracias stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Nerdspoof The 3rd swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Nerdspoof The 3rd pulls Gracias in close to his closed guard and prevents Gracias from doing any damage or advancing position.
Gracias pushing down on Nerdspoof The 3rd's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is staying active underneath Gracias, who seems content to just control the action from this position.

Gracias is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Nerdspoof The 3rd is just riding it out for now. Gracias eventually gives up the hold.

Gracias seems to be looking for submissions.

Gracias is trying to work for a kimura but Nerdspoof The 3rd is defending well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Nerdspoof The 3rd moves into full guard.
Gracias stopping the sweep attempt from Nerdspoof The 3rd.
Nerdspoof The 3rd is looking to sweep but instead, Gracias has passed into half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Nerdspoof The 3rd manages to get to full guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Nerdspoof The 3rd looking to hit a scissor sweep but Gracias is one step ahead there.
Gracias wants to pass the guard but Nerdspoof The 3rd is keeping the position.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd will probably get the nod.
That's time! Nerdspoof The 3rd's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Gracias looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.

Nerdspoof The 3rd scores with a takedown into Gracias's guard.
Nerdspoof The 3rd trying to control the position from guard on top but Gracias is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Nerdspoof The 3rd controlling from the top position.
Nerdspoof The 3rd seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Gracias for as long as he can get away with.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gracias is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Gracias is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Nerdspoof The 3rd wants to pass the guard but Gracias is keeping the position.
Nerdspoof The 3rd with a flurry of punches that miss.
Nerdspoof The 3rd trying to control the position from guard on top but Gracias is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
A slow jab from Nerdspoof The 3rd misses its intended target.
Nerdspoof The 3rd misses with a straight right.
Gracias drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Nerdspoof The 3rd defends it well.
Gracias takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Nice uppercut lands for Nerdspoof The 3rd. That snapped Gracias's head back.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Gracias keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Nerdspoof The 3rd.
Nerdspoof The 3rd lands with a hook. Gracias tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Nerdspoof The 3rd throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Gracias on the side of the head.
Gracias takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.

Nerdspoof The 3rd shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Nerdspoof The 3rd was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A lull in the action here.
Nerdspoof The 3rd trying to control the position but Gracias is working away.
Nerdspoof The 3rd laying and praying for a moment but Gracias takes advantage and regains half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Nerdspoof The 3rd stalling away here and it's allowed Gracias to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.

Nerdspoof The 3rd has gone for a leg lock! Gracias slips out almost immediately though and dives into Nerdspoof The 3rd's guard.

Nerdspoof The 3rd looking to hit a scissor sweep but Gracias is one step ahead there.
Gracias passes easily into side control. Nice work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Nerdspoof The 3rd tries to bench press Gracias off him but Gracias keeps the position.

Gracias tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
Nerdspoof The 3rd gives up the full mount - oops, sloppy defensive grappling there!
Hoyce Gracias has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Nerdspoof The 3rd avoids a series of strikes thrown by Gracias.
Nerdspoof The 3rd working to try and regain half guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Gracias throwing shots from mount but they're not landing.
Nerdspoof The 3rd working to try and regain half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Nerdspoof The 3rd has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Francis DeMontford scores the fight 30:28
Judge Eliza Hachem scores the fight 30:27
Judge John Mangel scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd!
A relieved looking Percival Nerdspoof The 3rd thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.