PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Emelia Kooldfish (ranked 2748 p4p, 2890 weight class) and Bum Phillips (ranked 316 p4p, 335 weight class). Kooldfish kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Dirty Needle Project! by Tom MacDonald & Adam Calhoun. Emelia Kooldfish has a significant reach advantage - let's see if he can make it count.

Kooldfish
vs
Phillips

189 cm
24
190
4 - 1 - 0

176 cm
30
192
15 - 17 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Excellent grappler
Counter fighter
Good gas tank

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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Emelia Kooldfish!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 15 - 17 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Bum Phillips!
The judges for this bout are Colin Fotheringham, Steven Brown and Daniel Bishop.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
No luck with that takedown attempt from Phillips.
Phillips tests Kooldfish's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Kooldfish definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Phillips shoots in looking for a takedown but Kooldfish manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Phillips's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Kooldfish is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Phillips waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Kooldfish.
Kooldfish appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Phillips tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Kooldfish counters with a straight right hand.
Emelia Kooldfish has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Bum Phillips.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Phillips looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Phillips misses with a takedown
and Kooldfish counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Phillips fails with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Phillips thinking.
Phillips doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Phillips swings widly with a right hand
and Kooldfish counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Phillips misses with a takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Phillips rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Kooldfish counters with a nice uppercut.
Phillips shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
enabling Kooldfish to counter with a crisp jab.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Phillips doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a left to the body.
Kooldfish is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Phillips doesn't succeed with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a left to the body.

Phillips shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Kooldfish is trying to defend but Phillips finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.

Phillips is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Phillips wants to work for an arm triangle but Kooldfish is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Phillips prevents Kooldfish from standing back up.
Kooldfish holds on for dear life, maintaining half guard for now.

Phillips is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Kooldfish doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Phillips.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.

Phillips is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Emelia Kooldfish dominated that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Phillips swings widly with a right hand
and Kooldfish counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Phillips has his takedown stuffed
letting Kooldfish counter with a right hand.
Phillips takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.

It looks like Emelia Kooldfish has been cut.
Phillips fails with the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Phillips gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and Kooldfish connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Emelia Kooldfish has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Bum Phillips.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Phillips fails with the takedown
and Phillips takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Phillips shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Phillips thinking.
Phillips with a lazy takedown attempt
and Kooldfish connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Phillips with a lazy takedown attempt
and Kooldfish counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Phillips is breathing heavily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kooldfish stuffs the takedown attempt from Phillips. Phillips gets slowly back to his feet.
Phillips misses with a takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Phillips shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
letting Kooldfish counter with a right hand.
Kooldfish is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Phillips can do to turn this around?
Phillips tries for a takedown but Kooldfish circles away easily
and Phillips takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Phillips has his takedown stuffed
and Kooldfish counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Phillips has his takedown stuffed
and Kooldfish counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Kooldfish is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Phillips with a lazy takedown attempt
and Kooldfish counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Phillips misses with a takedown attempt
and Kooldfish counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Phillips shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Kooldfish counters with a nice uppercut.
Phillips with a lazy takedown attempt
and Kooldfish counters with a stiff right hand.

Phillips is rocked!
Phillips shoots and misses
and Kooldfish counters with a huge left! Phillips is in big trouble! He's backing up but Kooldfish isn't giving him chance to recover. Under a barage of punches the ref has to step in to save Phillips from any more damage. A dominating finish by Kooldfish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:35 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Emelia Kooldfish!
Emelia Kooldfish looked relieved post fight as he said the following; 'I'm so unselfish and so virtuous that I want to dedicate this fight to someone not white. Because I AM A GOOD PERSON DONT YOU GET IT?!!!! And yeah, like, Love will save us all, except certain pigments I guess. I think that's what CNN told me to think...'.