PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jake Paul (ranked 3991 p4p, 3585 weight class) and Billy Turd (ranked 434 p4p, 403 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Paul might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-VdnD_8bYg. Turd has chosen Laugh Now Cry Later as his entrance music. Jake Paul looks tired to me. Hopefully he has got enough gas left in the tank to put in a good performance.

Paul
vs
Turd

182 cm
21
197
1 - 0 - 0

190 cm
25
205
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid boxing
KO power

Good takedowns
Counter fighter
Tends to cut

Conquest Nutritionâ„¢ (160Q) $48
Wrestler Wayfare

FREECH! (free speech clothing inc with REFUNDS!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Jake Paul!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Billy Turd!
The judges for this bout are Percy O'Donnell, Timothy Bukovac and Frank Antenori.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Paul pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Turd tries to counter with a clinch but Paul shakes him off and moves away.
Paul fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Turd is out of range.
Paul misses with a two punch combination.
Paul misses with a double jab.
Turd slips a jab and a cross from Paul.
Turd throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Paul is looking for a counter combo.
A lazy body kick from Paul

and Turd counters with a single leg into guard. Paul didn't expect that.
Turd controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
It looks like Turd might be adopting somewhat of a lay and pray gameplan here, which I'm sure won't go down too well with the paying fans in attendance... Or the ring announcers come to think of it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd preventing the sweep.
Turd wants to stand but Paul is controlling his posture from full guard.
Turd looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Turd working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Turd.
Turd avoids a punch combination nicely.
A head kick by Paul misses

and Turd counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Turd seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Turd works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Paul is breathing heavily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Well, if Turd is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.
Paul tries to roll over but Turd keeps him under control.
Well, if Turd is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Let's hope that Turd has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.
Turd working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Turd is figuring out what he wants to do next.

Turd is trying for a kimura here. Paul looks like he's in a lot of pain... and he's tapping out! Turd wins by kimura!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:26 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Billy Turd!
A determined Billy Turd didn't want to dwell on this fight in his post fight interview. Instead he was more keen to state he wants a title shot. Let's see if he gets it!
In defeat, Jake Paul stepped up to the mic, saying 'Dont judge me by my wins judge me on my losses'.