PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Vino Kourov (ranked 3228 p4p, 1345 weight class) and Osama Bin-Semen (ranked 209 p4p, 108 weight class). Kourov's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, COME ON. Both fighters really staring each other down here, as Osama Bin-Semen enters the cage!

Kourov
vs
Bin-Semen

171 cm
23
136
6 - 8 - 0

160 cm
23
145
9 - 3 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
Dangerous knees
KO power

Excellent grappler
Basic striking
Granite chin

Wrestler Wayfare

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 8 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Vino Kourov!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Osama Bin-Semen!
The judges for this bout are Richard Clark, Colin Fotheringham and Phil Schofield.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Bin-Semen feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Bin-Semen trying to control but Kourov is working from the bottom.
Bin-Semen is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Bin-Semen forces his way into half guard.
Bin-Semen trying to control the action but Kourov is working from the bottom.
Bin-Semen throwing shots but Kourov is blocking nicely.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bin-Semen throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Bin-Semen wants to take a breather but Kourov is having none of it.
Bin-Semen throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bin-Semen is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Bin-Semen thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Kourov's head.
Bin-Semen looks to score some points with some ground and pound.
Bin-Semen not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Bin-Semen wants to pass the guard but Kourov is defending well.
Bin-Semen throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.

Bin-Semen is working for a submission of some sort.
Bin-Semen wants to take a breather but Kourov is having none of it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kourov blocking the ground and pound attempt from Bin-Semen.
Bin-Semen trying to control the action but Kourov is working from the bottom.
Bin-Semen sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Kourov defending well though.
Bin-Semen scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Bin-Semen is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.

Bin-Semen is trying for a kimura here. Kourov looks like he's in a lot of pain... and he's tapping out! Bin-Semen wins by kimura!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Osama Bin-Semen!
A relieved looking Osama Bin-Semen thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
The defeated Vino Kourov had this to say: 'there's vomit on his sweat ! mom's spaghetti's !'.