PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Farty McFart Pants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and nick daley (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). McFart Pants's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Kickstart My Heart- Motley Crue. On his way into the cage it seems that Farty McFart Pants has been attacked by a crazed fan! It looks like it might have been the just bleed guy! Luckily Farty McFart Pants seems to be OK! I thought that lunatic was in prison!?

McFart Pants
vs
daley

195 cm
23
205 lbs
9 - 6 - 0

200 cm
20
219 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Solid boxing
Experienced

Good takedowns
Basic striking
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 6 - 0, fighting out of New York, Farty McFart Pants!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, nick daley!
The judges for this bout are John Roberts, Chad Campbell and Columbo Gatti.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
McFart Pants swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
McFart Pants lands with a thumping leg kick.
daley swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and McFart Pants counters with a two punch combo.
daley throws a combination that misses
and McFart Pants counters with a series of strikes. daley will be more careful next time no doubt.
daley throws a combination that misses
and McFart Pants makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
McFart Pants throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
daley falls off balance throwing a combination
and McFart Pants counters with a big head kick but daley shrugs it off.
daley throws a combination that misses
and McFart Pants counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
McFart Pants goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
This has been an exciting period of action!
daley throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and McFart Pants counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
daley falls off balance throwing a combination
and McFart Pants counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
daley throws a left and a right that both miss

and McFart Pants counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
McFart Pants trying to control but daley is working from the bottom.
McFart Pants content to stall in guard here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McFart Pants trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
McFart Pants passes daley's left leg - he's now in half guard.

McFart Pants is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
McFart Pants wants to get back to his feet.

McFart Pants is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and daley defends it well.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
McFart Pants tries to pass the half guard into mount. daley knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.

McFart Pants is looking for a kimura here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
McFart Pants stops daley from getting back to his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Farty McFart Pants dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
daley checks the leg kick nicely there.
daley throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped

and McFart Pants counters with a takedown into side control.

McFart Pants is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, daley has escaped the position, nice work there.
McFart Pants trying to control the position but daley is working away.
daley dodges the ground and pound from McFart Pants.

That's one minute gone in the round.

McFart Pants is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. daley knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.

McFart Pants tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no McFart Pants has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
The referee asks McFart Pants politely if he wouldn't mind getting on with it and actually doing something. McFart Pants prefers to stall for the moment though.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

McFart Pants tries for a kimura but daley is defending well.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

McFart Pants stands up.
McFart Pants throws a front kick aimed at daley's knee but daley avoids it well.
McFart Pants tries a low kick but daley avoids it.
daley swings wildly with a couple of big hooks

and McFart Pants counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.

daley makes some distance and scrambles quickly back to his feet. Nice work!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
daley misses with a double jab
and daley takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
daley misses with a double jab

and McFart Pants counters with a single leg into guard. daley didn't expect that.
This has been an exciting period of action!
McFart Pants trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but daley manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
McFart Pants striking off his back but it's not causing daley any problems.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Farty McFart Pants dominated that second round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

daley throws a left and a right that both miss

and McFart Pants counters with a shoot takedown. daley fights it but they end up in guard.
McFart Pants trying to control but daley is working from the bottom.
daley keeping full guard, as McFart Pants tries to pass.

McFart Pants drops back for a leg but he's not going to get it - he lets go and daley dives on top into guard.
McFart Pants throwing strikes off his back to little effect.

That's one minute gone in the round.

McFart Pants looks to be working for a triangle here. Oh, it looks like he might have it! daley has picked McFart Pants up and slammed him! McFart Pants can't keep hold of the triangle and daley manages to pass to side control!

daley decides to take the fight back to the feet.
daley slips a jab and a cross from McFart Pants.
McFart Pants misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
daley on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by McFart Pants. McFart Pants obviously looking to wear him down.
daley misses with a combination
and McFart Pants counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
daley falls off balance throwing a combination
and McFart Pants counters with a low kick, right behind daley 's knee.
daley falls off balance throwing a combination
and McFart Pants counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
McFart Pants rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but daley moves out of range and avoids them all easily.

McFart Pants drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.
McFart Pants landing with the ground and pound.
McFart Pants would like to get this fight back to the feet but can't get free from the closed guard.
Farty McFart Pants overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
McFart Pants wants to control from the top but daley keeps moving.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
McFart Pants is working hard here to advance position.

McFart Pants drops back, looking for a kneebar! daley looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. daley looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from daley!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
McFart Pants is trying to improve his position.
You can see the frustration on McFart Pants's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Farty McFart Pants clearly takes that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

McFart Pants finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
daley throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped

and McFart Pants counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
McFart Pants is pressed up against the cage. daley has hold of a leg and is looking to drag McFart Pants down to the mat. McFart Pants avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
daley swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and McFart Pants counters with a left and a right that stings daley.
daley throws a left and a right that both miss

and McFart Pants counters with a nice single leg takedown and he's in daley's guard now.

McFart Pants gets to his feet. daley looking to butt scoot but the ref puts an end to that. On your feet son!
daley falls off balance throwing a combination

and McFart Pants counters with a nice double leg into guard.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
McFart Pants is stalling in the full guard.
McFart Pants wants to pass the guard but daley is keeping the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McFart Pants sitting in guard, not really doing much.
McFart Pants wants to control from the top but daley keeps moving.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.

McFart Pants is holding a leg here, probably looking for an ankle lock - he drops back and goes for it! daley is in trouble! Is it all over??? No! daley has escaped and now he's on top!

McFart Pants has an omoplata and is looking to use it perhaps as a submission or perhaps to transition. daley is in a bit of discomfort here, but he's managed to free himself and has dived into side control! That didn't work out too well for McFart Pants.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants is looking for a sweep.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
McFart Pants sneaks back into half guard.
daley wants to get back to his feet.
McFart Pants is looking to improve his position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Farty McFart Pants had his way with nick daley in that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

daley falls off balance throwing a combination

and McFart Pants decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in daley's guard.
McFart Pants trying to control but daley is working from the bottom.

McFart Pants drops back for a leg but he's not going to get it - he lets go and daley dives on top into guard.
McFart Pants looking to control.

That's one minute gone in the round.

McFart Pants is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and daley defends well.
daley stopping the sweep attempt from McFart Pants.
McFart Pants has control of daley's left arm, preventing daley from doing any damage.
nick daley has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
daley wants to stand but McFart Pants is controlling his posture from full guard.
McFart Pants is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McFart Pants trying to mount his opponent but daley defends it.

McFart Pants is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and daley defends it well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
daley is trying to stand back up but McFart Pants is controlling him
Farty McFart Pants is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

McFart Pants is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.

And that's the end of the fight!
Farty McFart Pants showed his dominance in that final round.
Well McFart Pants has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge John Roberts scores the fight 50:44
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight 50:44
Judge Columbo Gatti scores the fight 50:44

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Farty McFart Pants!
Farty McFart Pants retains his light heavyweight title!