PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Johnny Bongfucious (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and David Hasselhof (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bongfucious's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Let's Get High. Hasselhof is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Nas - Hate me now. Johnny Bongfucious is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Bongfucious
vs
Hasselhof

171 cm
20
164 lbs
8 - 1 - 0

165 cm
24
155 lbs
10 - 6 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Solid boxing
Very strong

BJJ Brown Belt
Basic striking
Solid chin

Syndicate Drugs

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Johnny Bongfucious!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, David Hasselhof!
The judges for this bout are Emerson Jorge, Edson Gomes and Thiago Cunha.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bongfucious throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.

It looks like David Hasselhof has been cut.
Bongfucious will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Bongfucious throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Hasselhof shoots in looking for a takedown. Bongfucious tries to sprawl out of it but Hasselhof keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Bongfucious manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Bongfucious dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Hasselhof slips a straight right by Bongfucious.
Hasselhof ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Hasselhof thuds his shin into the meat of Bongfucious's side.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Hasselhof fails with a takedown attempt.

Hasselhof tries to keep at a distance but Bongfucious has taken the fight into the clinch.
Nice body punch from Bongfucious.
Hasselhof can't break the clinch.

Bongfucious breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Bongfucious defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Hasselhof.
Johnny Bongfucious has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of David Hasselhof.
Bongfucious tests Hasselhof's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Hasselhof shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Bongfucious sprawls well. Bongfucious wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Hasselhof gets slowly back to his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hasselhof moves out of range of the body kick from Bongfucious.
Bongfucious misses with a jab, cross combination.
The fighters circling - Hasselhof throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

Hasselhof closes the distance and pushes Bongfucious back into the cage.

Hasselhof successfully pulls guard.
Bongfucious looking to sit in guard and control but Hasselhof gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Bongfucious looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
Bongfucious is looking to stand back up but Hasselhof counters by passing into half guard. Oops... bit sloppy there by Bongfucious.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bongfucious is controlling Hasselhof's position as best he can from this difficult position.
Bongfucious is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Hasselhof's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Hasselhof's back!
Hasselhof holding on to Bongfucious's left wrist, preventing the choke.
Watch the back of the head! Comes the shout from the referee towards Bongfucious.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hasselhof takes a big shot to the side of the head.
Bongfucious doesn't have the hooks in and Hasselhof manages to turn into his guard.
Bongfucious is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Hasselhof with a flurry of punches that miss.
Hasselhof trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Bongfucious bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Hasselhof's guard.
Hasselhof controls Bongfucious momentarily but Bongfucious frees himself.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bongfucious scoring with punches to the head and body.

Hasselhof looking for subs off his back but Bongfucious has passed one foot through into half guard.
Bongfucious not landing any meaningful shots this time.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.

Bongfucious decides he's had enough of the ground and stands up.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Bongfucious misses the jab.
Hasselhof shoots in for a double leg but Bongfucious sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Johnny Bongfucious is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Bongfucious swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Hasselhof.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Johnny Bongfucious dominated that round.
The cut man is working on David Hasselhof's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

A punch combination from Bongfucious misses.
Hasselhof avoids the body shot from Bongfucious.
Bongfucious throws a lazy right hand but Hasselhof sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

Hasselhof bobs and weaves into range and then changes levels and scores with a nice takedown into side control.
Hasselhof wants to control but Bongfucious is keeping him busy.
Bongfucious defending against the ground and pound.
Bongfucious can't do much from the bottom here.
Bongfucious is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Hasselhof's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hasselhof missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
Hasselhof trying to control from half guard but Bongfucious is working away.
Bongfucious controlling the leg, holding on to half guard.
Bongfucious scrambles, trying to get to his feet, but Hasselhof manages to mount him!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Hasselhof lands a big shot there that rocks Bongfucious but he's holding on and managing to survive for now.
Hasselhof thowing strikes but they're hitting the gloves, not doing any damage.
Bongfucious blocking the ground and pound.
Hasselhof breaks from Bongfucious's wrist control and lands an elbow.
Hasselhof looking to ground and pound but Bongfucious is blocking nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bongfucious is in a horrible position here, under a barrage of strikes, he's managing to avoid any damage.
Hasselhof can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Bongfucious is looking to escape.
Bongfucious tries to reverse the position but Hasselhof maintains control.
Hasselhof sends his fist crashing into the mat - the crowd let out a collective ooooooh. Let's hope he's not broken it!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
Hasselhof with the ground and pound from mount.
Hasselhof is landing with some decent strikes but Bongfucious is trying to advance his position so the referee is letting the fight continue.
Bongfucious tries to buck Hasselhof off but he can't manage it.
Bongfucious is wriggling around trying to escape.
Hasselhof has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Hasselhof scoring with some good ground and pound from mount here. Will he manage to finish Bongfucious?
Bongfucious is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

David Hasselhof showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on David Hasselhof's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Hasselhof shoots in but Bongfucious avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Bongfucious scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Hasselhof tries to score a power double leg takedown but Bongfucious sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Hasselhof somewhat.
Hasselhof fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Johnny Bongfucious has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of David Hasselhof.
Bongfucious fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Hasselhof on the side of the head.
Hasselhof fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Bongfucious lands an overhand right.
Bongfucious lands a nice hook to Hasselhof's body. Hasselhof takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Hasselhof circles away from the clinch attempt.
Hasselhof throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Bongfucious's waist but Bongfucious gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Hasselhof off to one side.
Bongfucious scores with a crisp jab that stopped Hasselhof in his tracks.
Bongfucious getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Bongfucious lands a hook that stumbles Hasselhof back into the cage. Bongfucious follows up with a straight and another hook that land right on the button, dropping Hasselhof to the canvas! Bongfucious pounces and lands several unanswered shots - Hasselhof has had enough and taps out! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:55 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Strikes). Johnny Bongfucious!