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Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Juhana HurmoKultakala (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Nick bananahammock (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). bananahammock has chosen nothin but a g thing as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!



150 cm
20
145 lbs
1 - 0 - 0
180 cm
22
131 lbs
5 - 2 - 0
BJJ Brown Belt
Counter striker
Granite chin
BJJ Brown Belt
Basic striking
Granite chin


Chuck my Norris Ninja Viking Gear


Rastafarii Clothing


Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Juhana HurmoKultakala!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Nick bananahammock!
The judges for this bout are Alan Glass, Tiny Johnson and Gwen Towbar.




The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
HurmoKultakala defends well against a solid takedown attempt from bananahammock.

HurmoKultakala clinches up against the cage.
HurmoKultakala stalls.
HurmoKultakala tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. bananahammock smiles and moves away.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from bananahammock.
bananahammock shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Juhana HurmoKultakala has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Nick bananahammock.
HurmoKultakala throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
bananahammock shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as HurmoKultakala sprawls well. HurmoKultakala wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. bananahammock gets slowly back to his feet.
bananahammock keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
bananahammock uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock avoids the body shot from HurmoKultakala.

HurmoKultakala rushes bananahammock and presses him up against the cage.
bananahammock wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
bananahammock is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
bananahammock being controlled against the cage.
bananahammock has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.

That's one minute gone in the round.
HurmoKultakala misses with a short punch on the inside.
bananahammock working hard to break the clinch.
bananahammock wants to get back to striking at distance but HurmoKultakala won't allow it.
bananahammock wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
bananahammock is looking to break free of the clinch but HurmoKultakala has double underhooks.
A frustrated look appears on bananahammock's face as he tries to break the clinch.
bananahammock wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
bananahammock wants to break free but HurmoKultakala has control.
Stalling in the clinch from HurmoKultakala.

HurmoKultakala escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
HurmoKultakala throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

bananahammock changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. HurmoKultakala looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
HurmoKultakala manages to get back to half guard.
HurmoKultakala is not content to let bananahammock control the position.
bananahammock trying to control from HurmoKultakala's half guard. HurmoKultakala has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
HurmoKultakala is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
HurmoKultakala is trying to keep bananahammock in close.

bananahammock drops back looking for a leg! HurmoKultakala is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and HurmoKultakala manages to kick bananahammock off! bananahammock jumps back into HurmoKultakala's guard.
HurmoKultakala pulls bananahammock in to control the position.

HurmoKultakala working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. bananahammock doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. bananahammock manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
HurmoKultakala bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in bananahammock's guard.
HurmoKultakala wants to control from the top but bananahammock keeps moving.
HurmoKultakala passes bananahammock's left leg - he's now in half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
bananahammock wants to get back to full guard.
bananahammock is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
HurmoKultakala with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
bananahammock manages to get to full guard.

bananahammock looking for subs off his back but HurmoKultakala has passed one foot through into half guard.
bananahammock tries to roll over but HurmoKultakala keeps him under control.
HurmoKultakala controlling the action here.

HurmoKultakala is working for a submission of some sort.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
bananahammock wants to control but HurmoKultakala is keeping busy and won't allow it.
bananahammock is refusing to be controlled, as HurmoKultakala sits in half guard.
HurmoKultakala with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.

bananahammock actively working from the bottom here.
bananahammock wants to get back to full guard.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
HurmoKultakala leaves bananahammock with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
HurmoKultakala tries to clinch but bananahammock moves out of range.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Juhana HurmoKultakala dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!



HurmoKultakala rushes bananahammock and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
HurmoKultakala tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
bananahammock being controlled against the cage.
HurmoKultakala gets a warning from the ref for wasting time.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Juhana HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock throws out a loose jab but HurmoKultakala uses good head movement to avoid it.
No luck with that takedown attempt from bananahammock.
HurmoKultakala is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
bananahammock misses with a series of wild punches.
bananahammock keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
bananahammock shoots in but HurmoKultakala avoids the takedown attempt easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
bananahammock moves out of range of the strikes.
HurmoKultakala misses with a body shot.
HurmoKultakala showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from bananahammock.

HurmoKultakala rushes bananahammock and presses him up against the cage.
HurmoKultakala leaning his opponent against the cage.
bananahammock is trying to break the clinch but HurmoKultakala has him pressed against the cage.
HurmoKultakala stalling in the clinch.
bananahammock working hard to break the clinch.
HurmoKultakala jumps guard but bananahammock stands there with HurmoKultakala around his waist. HurmoKultakala gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.

HurmoKultakala manages to pull guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
bananahammock trying to stand up but can't free himself from HurmoKultakala's guard.
HurmoKultakala has control of bananahammock's left arm, preventing bananahammock from doing any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
HurmoKultakala wants to sweep here but bananahammock controlling him for the moment.
bananahammock trying to control but HurmoKultakala is working from the bottom.
HurmoKultakala has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

bananahammock is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
bananahammock postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
HurmoKultakala has a closed guard, preventing bananahammock from standing up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

It looks like we're going to have a standup here. Neither fighter is doing enough on the ground.
bananahammock tries a head kick but it misses.
bananahammock avoids the body shot from HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock moves away from the strike by HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Juhana HurmoKultakala has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Nick bananahammock.
bananahammock keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
bananahammock throws a series of punches but HurmoKultakala moves out of range.

HurmoKultakala moves into range and clinches up with bananahammock.
HurmoKultakala pressing his opponent against the cage.

HurmoKultakala's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.

HurmoKultakala clinches.
HurmoKultakala stalls.
bananahammock looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.
HurmoKultakala stalling against the cage.
bananahammock wants to break the clinch but can't.
HurmoKultakala avoiding damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for HurmoKultakala.
HurmoKultakala dictating the pace here, as the fighters clinch against the cage.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Juhana HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock tries to bum rush HurmoKultakala with a series of wild strikes but HurmoKultakala uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
bananahammock is trying hard to land a takedown here. HurmoKultakala sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
bananahammock shoots for a double leg takedown but HurmoKultakala sprawls well. He's pushed bananahammock's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.

bananahammock tries to keep at a distance but HurmoKultakala has taken the fight into the clinch.
HurmoKultakala slowing the pace effectively.
bananahammock is trying to break free.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Stalling in the clinch from HurmoKultakala.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Juhana HurmoKultakala.
HurmoKultakala swings for the body but bananahammock moves out of range.
bananahammock closes this distance looking for a takedown but HurmoKultakala circles away.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Juhana HurmoKultakala dominated that second round.
That's time! Back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.


bananahammock slips a jab and a cross from HurmoKultakala.
Nice uppercut lands for bananahammock. That snapped HurmoKultakala's head back.

HurmoKultakala moves into the clinch.
HurmoKultakala tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
bananahammock wants to get back to striking at distance but HurmoKultakala won't allow it.
HurmoKultakala doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
HurmoKultakala controlling the action here for a moment.
bananahammock wants to get back to striking at distance but HurmoKultakala won't allow it.
HurmoKultakala misses with a hook to the ribs.
bananahammock is trying to break free.
HurmoKultakala controlling the action here for a moment.
bananahammock tries to break the clinch but HurmoKultakala is controlling the position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
bananahammock is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
HurmoKultakala goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
A right hook to the body lands for HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock has had enough of the clinch but HurmoKultakala keeps him there for the moment.
HurmoKultakala lands a shot to the body.
HurmoKultakala prevents bananahammock from breaking the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
HurmoKultakala just leaning against bananahammock, taking a breather.
HurmoKultakala keeps control of bananahammock as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
bananahammock is trying to force a seperation but HurmoKultakala has the dominant position.
bananahammock is trying to break the clinch but HurmoKultakala has him pressed against the cage.
bananahammock blocks a couple of punches on the inside.

HurmoKultakala manages to pull guard.
HurmoKultakala controls bananahammock momentarily but bananahammock frees himself.
HurmoKultakala trying to control the position here.
HurmoKultakala working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from bananahammock.
bananahammock trying to control the position from guard on top but HurmoKultakala is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
bananahammock won't allow HurmoKultakala to sweep him here.
HurmoKultakala seems keen to control rather than go for a submission, at least for now.
Juhana HurmoKultakala is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
HurmoKultakala's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.
bananahammock tries to free his leg and advance position but HurmoKultakala is retaining full guard.
Nick bananahammock has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
HurmoKultakala ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
bananahammock takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
HurmoKultakala takes a swing at bananahammock's ribcage but misses.
bananahammock takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
HurmoKultakala misses with a looping right.

HurmoKultakala instigates a clinch.
A short right from HurmoKultakala.
bananahammock is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
bananahammock wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but HurmoKultakala has him pressed against the cage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
bananahammock is trying to force a seperation but HurmoKultakala has the dominant position.
HurmoKultakala displaying some good clinch control by pressing bananahammock up against the cage.
HurmoKultakala seems to have come into the fight with the intention of avoiding any damage in the clinch, rather than actually showing any aggression.

HurmoKultakala manages to pull guard.
bananahammock trying to control but HurmoKultakala is working from the bottom.
HurmoKultakala trying to control the position.

HurmoKultakala has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but bananahammock can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
bananahammock wants to stand but HurmoKultakala has a closed guard, so he can't escape.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
bananahammock postures up.
HurmoKultakala looking to hit a scissor sweep but bananahammock is one step ahead there.
HurmoKultakala is trying to control the position but bananahammock postures up.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.

HurmoKultakala closes the distance and clinches.
bananahammock tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
bananahammock tries to break free but HurmoKultakala pushes him back against the cage.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
bananahammock wants to break free but HurmoKultakala has control.
bananahammock pushes off an throws an elbow but HurmoKultakala leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
HurmoKultakala blocks an elbow strike from bananahammock.

And that's the end of the fight!
Juhana HurmoKultakala showed his dominance in that final round.
Well HurmoKultakala has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 30:27
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 30:27
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Juhana HurmoKultakala!
S C
A
G S C
B
G S C G energy
A | B
hype
A | B
pop
A | B
mgr
A | B
FIGHT
RATING
27%
 
 
 
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