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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Harry Sonofabeetch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Methuselah Couture (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Sonofabeetch's entrance music is the theme from the x files. A fine choice. Couture is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by wait, nvmnd! thats just the tapping of his cane as he walks.. Methuselah Couture is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.
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| 200 cm
24
286 lbs
5 - 0 - 0 |
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225 cm
21
275 lbs
4 - 2 - 0 |
Good takedowns
Excellent boxer
Granite chin |
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BJJ Brown Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Harry Sonofabeetch!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
4 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Methuselah Couture!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, Cecil Peabody and Frank Dennis.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Sonofabeetch shoots in for a double leg but Couture sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Couture fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Sonofabeetch on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Couture lands a jab to Sonofabeetch's midsection.
Couture slaps away a takedown attempt from Sonofabeetch, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Couture is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Sonofabeetch swings and misses with a shot to the body
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Sonofabeetch is breathing heavily.
Sonofabeetch chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Couture can pounce on him.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Couture looks to land a combination. Sonofabeetch sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.
It looks like Harry Sonofabeetch has been cut.
Couture goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Sonofabeetch takes a jab right on the kisser.
Couture scores with a spinning back kick!
Couture is looking to slow Sonofabeetch down with leg kicks.
A slapping leg kick lands for Couture.
Couture lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Sonofabeetch backs up against the cage.
Couture lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Couture, right into the meat.
Couture throws a two punch combo that lands nicely.
Harry Sonofabeetch's cut is getting worse.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Couture connects with a leg kick. Sonofabeetch looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Harry Sonofabeetch seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Couture feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Sonofabeetch's calf.
Couture fakes the leg kick and cracks Sonofabeetch in the body.
Sonofabeetch is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Couture.
Couture connects with a body shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Couture connects with a solid leg kick.
Sonofabeetch is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Couture scores with a body shot.
Couture works Sonofabeetch's body with a nice hook.
Couture lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Couture stalks Sonofabeetch and leaps in with a furious combination of punches. Uppercuts and crosses smash into Sonofabeetch's face. Sonofabeetch staggers backwards, shaken.
Harry Sonofabeetch's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
The crowd cheers as Couture lands an impressive looking overhand right. Sonofabeetch doesn't seem phased though.
Jeez, Harry Sonofabeetch's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Couture lands a leg kick that knocks Sonofabeetch off balance momentarily.
Couture with a jab.
Couture scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Couture throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Couture throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
A slapping leg kick lands for Couture.
Couture is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Sonofabeetch rather than just go for the knockout.
Sonofabeetch takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Couture feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Sonofabeetch's calf.
Couture jabs Sonofabeetch to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Couture lands with a thumping leg kick.
Methuselah Couture is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Sonofabeetch has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
The referee calls the doctor in to look at Harry Sonofabeetch's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:39 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Methuselah Couture! Methuselah Couture retains his heavyweight title!
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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