PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dick Offenhard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Flava Flave (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Offenhard comes to the cage accompanied by Ghostface Killah - Daytona 500. Flave is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: Momma said Tap you Out. Dick Offenhard had a look across the cage there at his opponent. He definitely means business

Offenhard
vs
Flave

186 cm
24
205 lbs
15 - 4 - 2

198 cm
28
202 lbs
13 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Granite chin

ADCC Champion
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Absolution 159 ($79)

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PWNAGE™ $8-$20 Clothing - 300+ Designs

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 4 - 2, fighting out of New York, Dick Offenhard!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Flava Flave!
The judges for this bout are , and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Flave swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Offenhard counters with a stiff right hand.
Flave misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Offenhard counters with a nice uppercut.

Offenhard clinches.
A nice left hand lands by Flave.

Flave drags the fight down to the ground.

Flave has an active guard here but Offenhard has managed to pass into half guard.
Offenhard looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Flave is trying to get back to full guard.
Offenhard content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.

Flave looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Offenhard wants to pass to mount but Flave is defending the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Flave tries to get to full guard but Offenhard has control of the leg.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Offenhard is pressing down on Flave's thigh, looking to free his foot. Flave is holding on for now.

Flave looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Offenhard controlling the action here.

Flave looking for submissions off his back.

Flave looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Offenhard works his foot free and advances to mount.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Offenhard controlling from the full mount.
Flave bucks up and manages to get a nice reversal! He's in guard on the top - nicely done!

Flave drops back looking for a leg! Offenhard is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Offenhard manages to kick Flave off! Flave jumps back into Offenhard's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Flave thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.

Flave drops back for a leg but he's not going to get it - he lets go and Offenhard dives on top into guard.

Flave working for a triangle but Offenhard defends it easily.
Flave keeping moving, preventing Offenhard from controlling successfully.
Flave looking to hit a scissor sweep but Offenhard is one step ahead there.
Offenhard might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Offenhard stays in close to Flave's body and controls the position.

Flave working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Offenhard doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Offenhard manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Offenhard trying to control but Flave is working from the bottom.
Offenhard passes into half guard.
Well, if Offenhard is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.

Flave actively working from the bottom here.

Flave looking for submissions off his back.
Offenhard is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Offenhard dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Offenhard throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Flave shoots for a double leg takedown but Offenhard sprawls well. He's pushed Flave's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Offenhard, right into the meat.
Flave swings and misses with a hook to the body.
An inside leg kick from Offenhard misses.
Flave swings widly with a right hand
and Offenhard counters with a flying knee. Nice.
Flave misses with a jab to the body
and Offenhard counters with a head kick.
Flave takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Flave throws a lazy uppercut
and Offenhard counters with an outside leg kick.
A clash of legs there as Flave blocks the low kick.
A shot to the liver by Flave. Beautiful body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Offenhard connects with an inside leg kick.
Flave shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Offenhard counters with an outside leg kick.
Dick Offenhard is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Offenhard swings widly with a right hand
letting Flave counter with a right hand.
Flave misses with a left hand
and Offenhard counters with a slapping leg kick.
Offenhard throws out a leg kick but Flave moves out of range and Offenhard only half commits.
Flave swings wildly with a couple of big hooks

and Offenhard counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
Offenhard putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Flave in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
Offenhard lands a good knee to the midsection. Flave won't want to take too many of those.
Flave is breathing heavily.
Flave tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Offenhard smiles and moves away.
Dick Offenhard has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Flava Flave.
Offenhard throws a head kick that misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Flave throws a right hand that misses
and Offenhard makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Flave misses with a body punch
and Offenhard counters with a head kick. That will keep Flave thinking before he tries any more sloppy attacks!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Flave throws a sloppy body shot
and Offenhard counters with a slapping leg kick.
Flave misses with a jab to the body
and Offenhard counters with a thumping low kick.
Offenhard connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Flave's hands.
Offenhard lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Offenhard getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Flave tries to close the distance and clinch up but Offenhard swats him away and circles back towards the center.
A head kick from Offenhard lands but Flave takes it in his stride.
Offenhard throws a sloppy head kick and Flave moves out of range easily.
Flave thows a left - swing and a miss!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard misses with a leg kick.
Offenhard misses with a body shot.
Flave is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Offenhard rather than just go for the knockout.
An inside leg kick lands from Offenhard.
Offenhard throws a leg kick which misses Flave's front leg but catches the back leg as Flave tries to avoid it.
Flave throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Offenhard leaves Flave with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Offenhard throws a nice head kick!
Flave closes the distance and clinches up with Offenhard, looking for a takedown. Flave pushes Offenhard against the cage but Offenhard circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Flave on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Flava Flave seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Offenhard chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Offenhard scores with a jab to the jaw.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard works the jab nicely.
Flave misses with a right hand
and Offenhard counters with a body kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Offenhard misses with a body kick.
Offenhard throws a jab when Flave was well out of range.
Flave misses with a body shot.
Offenhard throws a nice inside leg kick.
Flave closes this distance looking for a takedown but Offenhard circles away.
Flave blocks a leg kick.
Flave throws a right hand that misses
and Offenhard connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Offenhard lands with an uppercut that bounces Flave off the cage and back into rage.
Flave shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Offenhard dominated that second round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Flave's corner calls for a 1-2. Flave obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Flave throws a hook but Offenhard blocks it.
Flave avoids the head kick by Offenhard.
Offenhard digs a good body shot into Flave's ribs.
Flave moves out of range of the leg kick from Offenhard.
Flave has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Offenhard.
Flave shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Offenhard counters with an inside leg kick.
Offenhard turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Offenhard throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Offenhard is looking to slow Flave down with leg kicks.
Flave's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Offenhard connects with a solid leg kick.
Flave takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A nice inside leg kick there by Offenhard. That's going to slow Flave down.
Offenhard misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
An inside leg kick lands from Offenhard.
Offenhard looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Offenhard.
Flave takes a kick to the side of the head.
Offenhard fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Good leg kick by Offenhard there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Offenhard fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Flave.
Offenhard's corner calls for a 1-2. Offenhard obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Offenhard turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Offenhard lands with a thumping leg kick.
Offenhard thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Flave if he has to take too many more of those.
Offenhard cracks the inside of Flave's front leg.
Flave has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Flave there as he acknowledges the shot.
Offenhard buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Offenhard.
Offenhard looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Flave takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Offenhard throws a head kick that half lands.
Offenhard lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Offenhard, right into the meat.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard dips to his left and cracks Flave with an uppercut!
Offenhard slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
A slapping leg kick lands for Offenhard.
Offenhard throws a nice outside leg kick.
That kick from Offenhard tenderised Flave's leg. Flave is trying to keep his angry face on.
Offenhard scoring well with a low kick there.
Flave on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Flave avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Offenhard throws a solid leg kick but Flave takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Offenhard.
Flave throws a series of punches but Offenhard avoids them all with ease.
Offenhard lands with a thumping leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Flave rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Offenhard counters with a nice low kick that buckles Flave's knee momentarily.
Offenhard lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Offenhard cracks Flave with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Offenhard loads up on a big right hand but Flave slips the punch.
Offenhard scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Offenhard throws a head kick that misses.
Offenhard scores with a head kick.
Flave gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and Offenhard counters with a low kick, right behind Flave 's knee.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Offenhard connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Offenhard buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Offenhard clearly takes that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Offenhard connects with a good right hand that stumbles Flave. Flave circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Offenhard fails with an attempt to clinch.
Flave keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Flave checks a leg kick.
Offenhard throws a leg kick but Flave sees it coming and moves out of range.
Offenhard swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Offenhard throws a head kick that half lands.
Offenhard tries to clinch up but Flave circles away and keeps his distance.
Offenhard lands with a cross.
Offenhard is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Flave can do to turn this around?
Offenhard lands a nice leg kick that just misses Flave's sensitive parts.
Flave scores with a body shot.
Flave changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Flave rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Offenhard counters with a nice low kick that buckles Flave's knee momentarily.
A big right from Flave misses.
Offenhard has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Flave finds it's way round the side to connect with Offenhard's head.
Offenhard throws a nice inside leg kick.
Offenhard thuds his shin into the meat of Flave's side.
Flave throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Flave misses with a left hand
and Offenhard cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Flave bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Offenhard's head.
Flave throws a poor cross that misses
and Offenhard counters with a leg kick.
Flave has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Flave throws a predictable looking body shot
and Offenhard counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Flave thinking.
Flave is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
Flave throws a sloppy body shot
and Offenhard counters with a good low kick that Flave was not able to check.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Flave avoids the head kick by Offenhard.
Offenhard thumps Flave with a low kick.
Dick Offenhard is winning the standup battle so far.
Flave misses with a takedown
and Offenhard counters with a straight right hand.
Offenhard fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Flave throws a right hand that misses
and Offenhard counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Flave tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Offenhard throws a nice head kick!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Flave takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Flave swings widly with a right hand
enabling Offenhard to counter with a crisp jab.
Offenhard with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Flave ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Flave blocks a head kick by Offenhard.
Offenhard misses with a low kick.
Offenhard ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Flave moves away.
Offenhard connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Flave momentarily.
Offenhard throws a low kick, looking for Flave's leg but Flave calmly moves out of range.
Offenhard is looking to score with low kicks.
Flave clobbers Offenhard with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Flave throws a right hand that misses
and Offenhard makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Offenhard throws a solid leg kick but Flave takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Offenhard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
A leg kick checked by Flave.
Offenhard avoids the body shot from Flave.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Offenhard.
Offenhard misses the jab.
Offenhard attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Flave throws a right hand that misses
and Offenhard counters with a low kick, right behind Flave 's knee.
Flave swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Flave chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Offenhard can pounce on him.
Flave throws a poor cross that misses
and Offenhard counters with a leg kick.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Offenhard throws a quick inside leg kick.
A solid body kick from Offenhard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Offenhard had his way with Flava Flave in that round.
That's time! Offenhard's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Flave shoots in for a takedown from distance. He catches Offenhard napping and manages to drive through into side control!
Offenhard manages to work his way to half guard, despite Flave's best efforts.
Flave is looking to advance position but Offenhard won't allow it.
Offenhard keeping control of the position.
Offenhard wants to improve his position but Flave is controlling well.

Flave is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Offenhard defends it well.
Offenhard has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Flave is working away from the top position though.

Flave seems to be working for a kimura but Offenhard defends the submission attempt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Offenhard wants to control but Flave is keeping busy.
Offenhard tries to get to full guard but Flave has control of the leg.

Offenhard is defending against the submission attempts here by Flave.
Flave is wobbling all over the place through exhaustion. Will he make it to the final bell?
Offenhard trying to control from the bottom.
Offenhard is looking for a sweep. Flave is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Flave is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Offenhard is just riding it out for now. Flave eventually gives up the hold.
Offenhard keeping control of the leg, stopping his opponent passing to mount.
Flava Flave has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.

Flave is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Offenhard has managed to free his arm - good work.
Offenhard is trying to get back to full guard.

Flave is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Offenhard is just riding it out for now. Flave eventually gives up the hold.

Flave looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Flave is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Offenhard trying to control from the bottom.

Flave is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Offenhard doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Flave.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Offenhard is trying is best to control the position here.
Offenhard blocking the ground and pound attempt from Flave.
Offenhard avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Flave.
Offenhard keeping hold of Flave's head, controlling as best he can.

Flave looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Offenhard wants to get back to his feet.

And that's the end of the fight!
Flava Flave comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Offenhard has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Suge Night scores the fight 49:44
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 49:44
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 49:44

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dick Offenhard!
Dick Offenhard is the new light heavyweight champion!