PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Hanz Titties (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Al Swearengen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Swearengen comes into a darkened arena with his song building. A Story From North America kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Titties
vs
Swearengen

180 cm
28
158 lbs
13 - 4 - 0

177 cm
24
153 lbs
13 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Powerful

Prestige Clothing
Prestige Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Hanz Titties!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Al Swearengen!
The judges for this bout are , and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Swearengen lands with a shot to the body.
Titties throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Swearengen avoids a kick to the body.
Titties walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Swearengen stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Titties.
Swearengen throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Titties throws a lazy head kick
and Swearengen counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Swearengen gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Titties counters with a nice leg kick.
Titties throws a lazy body kick
and Swearengen counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Titties takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Swearengen has a takedown stuffed.
Swearengen tries a head kick but it misses.
Swearengen avoids the head kick by Titties.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Swearengen.
Titties checks a low kick from Swearengen.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Titties connects with a good right hand that stumbles Swearengen. Swearengen circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Titties fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Titties takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Swearengen throws a push kick but Titties slaps the foot to one side.
Titties misses with a head kick.
Titties lands a high kick!
Titties misses with a leg kick
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Titties falls off balance throwing a combination
and Swearengen counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Titties thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Swearengen if he has to take too many more of those.
Swearengen takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Titties throws a sloppy head kick and Swearengen moves out of range easily.
Swearengen throws a leg kick but Titties sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Swearengen scores with a jab. Titties acknowledges it with a nod of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Swearengen works over Titties's head and body with a nice combination.
Titties throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Titties thows a body shot but no joy.
Titties misses with a looping left.
Swearengen fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Titties avoids it really well and circles away.
Titties connects with a crisp jab.
Titties stuns Swearengen with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Titties throws a sloppy head kick and Swearengen moves out of range easily.
Swearengen throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Titties checks a leg kick nicely.
Titties misses with a right hand
and Swearengen counters with a leg kick.
Titties misses with a body kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties misses with a lunging right hand
and Swearengen counters with a low kick, right behind Titties 's knee.
Titties throws a sloppy head kick
and Swearengen counters with a head kick.
Titties throws a lazy right hand but Swearengen sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Swearengen throws a head kick that misses
and Titties counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
A low kick from Titties misses
and Swearengen counters with a nice low kick that buckles Titties's knee momentarily.
Titties throws a right hand that misses
and Swearengen counters with a right hand to the body.
Titties tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A head kick from Titties lands but Swearengen takes it in his stride.
Swearengen looks to score with a jab to the body but Titties is just out of range.
Swearengen throws the kick towards the body but Titties avoids it.
Swearengen tries to land a front kick but Titties steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Titties misses with a lunging right hand
and Swearengen cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Swearengen misses with a combination
and Titties counters with a kick to the head that grazes his opponent. Swearengen is lucky that one didn't land flush.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Titties misses with an uppercut
and Swearengen makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Swearengen avoids the head kick by Titties.
The crowd cheers as Swearengen lands an impressive looking overhand right. Titties doesn't seem phased though.
Swearengen connects with a leg kick. Titties looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Swearengen walks into a left hand.
Swearengen on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Titties. Titties obviously looking to wear him down.
Sloppy strikes from Titties. Those never looked like landing.
Titties throws a body kick that misses.
Swearengen misses with a leg kick
and Titties counters with a leg kick.
Swearengen staying out of range there.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Titties lands a jab to the head.
Swearengen steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Titties.
Good work by Swearengen as he checks the leg kick.
Swearengen uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Titties has time to react.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Hanz Titties will probably get the nod.
That's time! Titties's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Titties tries to land a leg kick but Swearengen saw it coming and moves away.
Swearengen throws an off balance right hand
enabling Titties to counter with a crisp jab.
Swearengen takes one to the side of the head.
Titties throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Titties slips under a jab from Swearengen.
Titties misses with a hook to the body
and Swearengen counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Swearengen misses with a body shot.
A lazy body kick from Titties
and Swearengen counters with a low kick, right behind Titties 's knee.
Titties moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.
Swearengen throws a leg kick but Titties sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Titties throws a leg kick that is checked
and Swearengen counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Swearengen misses with a shot to the body
and Titties counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Titties has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Titties there as he acknowledges the shot.
Titties throws a leg kick
and Swearengen counters with a stiff right hand.

Titties gets caught flat footed, as Swearengen shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Titties keeping moving, preventing Swearengen from controlling successfully.
Titties has control of Swearengen's left arm, preventing Swearengen from doing any damage.

The ref calls for a clean break and stands the fighters back up. Al Swearengen wasn't active enough on the ground.
Swearengen misses with a head kick.
Titties misses with a jab to the body
and Swearengen counters with a nice uppercut.
A low kick from Titties misses
and Swearengen counters with a flying knee. Nice.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Swearengen throws a leg kick that misses.
Titties throws a head kick that misses
and Swearengen counters with an inside leg kick.
Swearengen tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Titties throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Swearengen bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Titties tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Swearengen is able to avoid easily.
Titties misses with a straight right.
Titties blocks the body kick.
Swearengen blocks a head kick by Titties.
Swearengen throws a hook but Titties avoids it easily.
Titties misses with a head kick.
Titties misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Swearengen.
Hanz Titties is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Titties finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
A low kick from Titties misses
and Swearengen counters with a straight right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Swearengen throws a body punch but Titties moves out of range.
Titties tries to land a body kick
and Swearengen counters with a nice leg kick.
Hanz Titties is winning the standup battle so far.
Titties pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Titties on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Swearengen. Swearengen obviously looking to wear him down.
Titties throws a head kick that misses
and Swearengen counters with an outside leg kick.
Titties swings for the body but Swearengen moves out of range.
A low kick from Titties is predictable there
and Swearengen counters with a body kick that stops Titties in his tracks momentarily.
Titties throws a head kick that misses
and Swearengen counters with a nice low kick that buckles Titties's knee momentarily.
A low kick from Titties is predictable there
and Swearengen counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Titties tries to score with a low kick but Swearengen moves his leg out of the way.
A low kick from Titties misses
letting Swearengen counter with a right hand.
Titties moves out of range as Swearengen throws a body kick.
Titties lands the left hand.
Swearengen is looking to chop away at Titties's legs.
Hanz Titties seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Swearengen moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Swearengen connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Swearengen scores with a leg kick.
Swearengen explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Swearengen stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Titties misses with an uppercut
and Swearengen counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Swearengen avoids the head kick by Titties.
Swearengen fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Swearengen checks the leg kick nicely there.
Titties lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Titties pivots, looking for a leg kick but Swearengen is out of range and Titties settles back down.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Titties, right into the meat.
Swearengen throws a nice inside leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Al Swearengen showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Swearengen loads up on a big right hand but Titties slips the punch.
A left lands for Swearengen.
Titties throws a lazy head kick
and Swearengen counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Titties thinking.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Swearengen, right into the meat.
Swearengen tries to work over Titties's front leg with a kick but Titties checks it.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Swearengen.
Swearengen throws a low kick but Titties moves out of range easily.
Swearengen throws a nice inside leg kick.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Titties, right into the meat.
Swearengen fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Titties avoids it really well and circles away.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Titties.
A leg kick checked by Titties.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Titties tries a low kick but Swearengen avoids it.
Swearengen throws a nice head kick!
Titties takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Titties on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Swearengen avoids the head kick by Titties.
Swearengen doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Titties throws a leg kick but Swearengen sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Swearengen throws a big shot that misses.
Titties throws a jab when Swearengen was well out of range.
Swearengen keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Titties takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Swearengen throws a nice inside leg kick.
Titties moves forwards but Swearengen connects with a nice, crisp jab.
A lazy left from Swearengen finds it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Titties swings widly with a right hand
letting Swearengen counter with a right hand.
Titties throws a body punch but Swearengen moves out of range.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Titties, right into the meat.
Titties takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Swearengen misses with a hook. Titties ducked under it nicely.
Swearengen waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Titties.
Titties looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Titties misses with a hook. Swearengen ducked under it nicely.
Swearengen misses with a kick to the body.
Titties misses with a hook.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Swearengen checks a leg kick.
A low kick from Titties misses
and Swearengen counters with a low kick, right behind Titties 's knee.
Titties needs to keep his hands up - Swearengen had a free shot at his head there.
A shot to the body from Titties misses
and Swearengen counters with a thumping low kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Titties lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Swearengen uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Titties.
Titties connects with a solid leg kick.
Titties doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Titties throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Swearengen counters with a body kick that brings a smile to the face of both fighters.
Titties fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Titties throws a leg kick that is checked
and Swearengen counters with a good low kick that Titties was not able to check.
Titties tries to land a body kick
and Titties takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Titties misses with a double jab
letting Swearengen counter with a right hand.
Titties misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Swearengen.
Swearengen buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Swearengen takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Titties looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Titties checks a leg kick.
Titties throws a body punch but Swearengen moves out of range.
Swearengen's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Swearengen throws a hook but Titties blocks it.
Swearengen lands a nice looking kick to the body. Titties takes a step back to recover.
Swearengen lands with a shot to the body.
Swearengen chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Swearengen with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Swearengen explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Titties rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Swearengen counters with a kick to the head that grazes his opponent. Titties is lucky that one didn't land flush.
Swearengen throws a sloppy head kick
and Titties counters with a slapping leg kick.
Swearengen takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Titties looks to land a body kick but Swearengen moved away.
Swearengen closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.

And that's the end of the fight!
Al Swearengen comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Swearengen has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Andi Peters scores the fight 28:29
Judge Gordon Ramsey scores the fight 28:29
Judge Frank Skinner scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Al Swearengen!