PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Tim Johns (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Johns has chosen Cocaine Blues as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Cartman
vs
Johns

165 cm
24
150 lbs
11 - 5 - 0

165 cm
30
155 lbs
16 - 11 - 1

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Very quick

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

xXx - Voodoo Labs - 159+ Energy - $47.50

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 5 - 0, fighting out of New York, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 16 - 11 - 1, fighting out of New York, Tim Johns!
The judges for this bout are Franklyn Lucas, Eddie Farnsworth and Anthony Taglia.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Johns's hands.
Johns gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Cartman tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Johns is able to avoid easily.
Johns displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
Johns defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.
Cartman missing with a left hand there. Johns was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Cartman lands with a hook. Johns tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Cartman misses with a body shot.
Cartman showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Johns.
Johns throws a right and a left that both miss.
Cartman misses with a jab, cross combination.
Johns misses with a wild body shot.
Johns rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Cartman moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Johns.
Some wild striking there from Johns.
Nice cross by Johns.
Cartman takes a swing at Johns's ribcage but misses.
Cartman swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Johns fails to land with a series of punches.
Cartman throws a lazy head kick
and Johns counters with a nice low kick that buckles Cartman's knee momentarily.
Cartman misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Johns throws a nice looking combination but Cartman bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Johns jabbing away but nothing is landing.
A left lands for Cartman.
Cartman closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Cartman misses with an uppercut
letting Johns counter with a right hand.
Cartman lands a lovely overhand right.
Sloppy strikes from Johns. Those never looked like landing.
Johns walks into a straight right hand from Cartman.
Cartman bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Johns displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
Johns wants to clinch.
Johns throws a nice looking combination but Cartman bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Cartman dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Johns. That did some damage!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A big left from Cartman misses.
Cartman lands a glancing blow to the side of Johns's head.
Eric Cartman is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
Cartman just misses with a punch to the body.

Johns looking to score a takedown here. Cartman is defending well but Johns drives through and ends up in Cartman's guard.
Johns loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Cartman avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Johns throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Cartman working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Johns.

Johns gets to his feet - Cartman follows without any prompting.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Johns bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Cartman misses with a jab to the body
and Johns counters with a left and a right that stings Cartman.
Johns throws a series of punches but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman lands a really nice looking cross but Johns seems unphased.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a hook but Johns blocks it.
Cartman misses with an uppercut.
Cartman throws a hook but Johns avoids it easily.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses

and Johns counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Johns trying to control but Cartman is working from the bottom.

Cartman scrambles and gets back to his feet.
Cartman looks to throw the jab but Johns is out of range.
Johns misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Johns on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Cartman. Cartman obviously looking to wear him down.
Johns throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Johns slips a jab from Cartman.
Johns on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Cartman. Cartman obviously looking to wear him down.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Johns throws a right and a left that both miss.
Cartman misses with a wild body shot.
Johns takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Johns looks gassed!
Johns takes one on the button.
Johns tries to clinch but Cartman is having none of it.
Johns slips a jab from Cartman.
Johns ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Cartman tests Johns's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Cartman connects with a looping right hand.
Johns ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Johns wants to clinch but Cartman slips to the side
and Cartman counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Cartman misses with a body shot.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Johns drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Johns tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Johns on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Johns scores with a body shot.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Eric Cartman will probably get the nod.
That's time! Cartman's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Cartman scores with the left hand. Johns knows he should have avoided that one.
Johns tries to clinch but Cartman moves out of range.
Johns tries to close the distance and clinch up but Cartman swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Cartman looks to land a left hand but Johns moved out of range nicely.
Cartman pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Cartman misses with an uppercut. Johns saw that one coming.
Cartman just misses with a punch to the body.
Johns misses with a double jab.
Johns misses with a jab, cross combination.
Cartman misses with a left hand

and Johns counters with a shoot takedown. Cartman fights it but they end up in guard.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Cartman preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Johns tries to free his leg and advance position but Cartman is retaining full guard.
Johns working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Johns looking to pass the guard.
Johnsis looking to pass into half guard but Cartman pushes him away with his feet and jumps on top - now Cartman is in guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Johns wants to stand and escape but Cartman is having none of it.
Tim Johns has got the better of the ground game so far.

Johns has his foot on Cartman's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Cartman works his way back into a safe position though.
Johns is breathing heavily.
Cartman is looking to work some ground and pound but Johns has wrist control.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
Johns utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
Johns avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Cartman accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Cartman thows a big elbow that misses.
Cartman throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Cartman thows a big elbow that misses.
Johns utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Cartman is looking to work some ground and pound but Johns has wrist control.

Johns escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Cartman gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Johns preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman postures up in Johns's guard and throws a big left but Johns blocks it.
Johns utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Cartman thows a big elbow that misses.

Johns is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

Johns looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Cartman postures up in Johns's guard and throws a big left but Johns blocks it.
Cartman postures up in Johns's guard and throws a big left but Johns blocks it.
Cartman throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Cartman throwing strikes but missing.

Johns has his foot on Cartman's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Cartman works his way back into a safe position though.
Johns utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Cartman keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Johns's head.

Johns is looking for a triangle but Cartman pushes his legs off easily.
Cartman loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Johns works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Johns trying to keep a closed guard but Cartman is proving a slippery customer.
Cartman throwing strikes from guard but Johns blocks nicely.
Johns is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Cartman is looking to work some ground and pound but Johns has wrist control.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cartman scoring with punches to the head and body.
Cartman missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Cartman in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
Johns has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
Johns looking to control.
Cartman postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Johns is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

Johns looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Cartman accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Cartman trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

Johns is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman with a flurry of punches that miss.
Johns utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Johns trying to keep a closed guard but Cartman is proving a slippery customer.
Cartman loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Johns utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Johns is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Cartman won't allow Johns to sweep him here.
Cartman postures up in Johns's guard and throws a big left but Johns blocks it.
Cartman trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Eric Cartman will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Cartman misses with an uppercut
and Johns counters with a left to the body.
Cartman throws a looping overhand right but Johns ducks down to avoid it.
Cartman needs to keep his hands up - Johns had a free shot at his head there.
A looping hook to the body misses from Cartman. Johns does a little dance to reset his feet.
No joy there for Johns, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Johns looks to land a combination but Cartman avoids it well.
Johns on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Cartman. Cartman obviously looking to wear him down.
Cartman throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Johns ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cartman moves away.
Cartman scores with a jab to the body.
Cartman lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
Cartman keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Cartman throws a jab when Johns was well out of range.
Cartman lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Johns at a distance.
Johns takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Good exchange - Cartman coming out on top.
Johns takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Cartman swings widly with a right hand

and Johns counters with a nice single leg takedown and he's in Cartman's guard now.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Johns trying to move into half guard but instead Cartman has managed to sweep!
Cartman loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Johns tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Cartman pushing down on Johns's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Johns avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Cartman.
Johns is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Cartman's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Cartman's back!
Johns is looking to control Cartman but Cartman is wriggling around and keeping busy.
Cartman has his hands over his head blocking the strikes from Johns.

Johns has his opponent's back but Cartman is looking to stand. He manages to get to his feet and shakes off Johns.
Cartman just misses with a punch to the body.
Johns slips under a jab.
Cartman misses with a low kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nice shot lands for Johns.
A swing and a miss from Cartman.
Cartman throws a series of punches but Johns moves out of range.
Cartman thows a body shot but no joy.
Cartman misses with an uppercut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A slow jab from Johns misses its intended target.
Johns moves away from the strike by Cartman.
Johns tries to clinch there but Cartman circles away.
Cartman fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Johns on the side of the head.

Johns clinches.

Cartman gets the body lock takedown. After a quick scramble, Johns regains guard.
Cartman stands and throws Johns's legs to the side, diving into side control.
An elbow from Cartman crashes against the mat.
Johns can't do much from the bottom here.
Cartman postures up a little and throws a couple of hammerfists but they don't connect properly.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Johns is trying to get back to his feet.
Johns parries the strikes from Cartman easily there. Cartman is wary of posturing up too much because it might enable Johns to escape.
Johns tries to bench press Cartman off him but Cartman keeps the position.
Cartman looking to punish the body of his opponent here but Johns is avoiding damage well.
Cartman tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
Johns sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Cartman thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
Johns moves into full guard.
Cartman throws a big right hand that misses.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Cartman accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Cartman with a flurry of punches that miss.
Cartman stopping the sweep attempt from Johns.

Johns looking for a guillotine here but Cartman defends easily.
Johns looking to hit a scissor sweep but Cartman is one step ahead there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Johns's guard.
Johns is looking for a sweep. Cartman is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Johns defending well though.
Johns keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Johns blocking the ground and pound attempt from Cartman.
Johns has hold of Cartman's hands but Cartman slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
Johns wants to control but Cartman is keeping busy.
Cartman throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman is thwarting Johns's attempts to control the position.
Cartman has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Tim Johns has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Eric Cartman is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Cartman looking to finish with strikes here!

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Cartman, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Franklyn Lucas scores the fight 30:27
Judge Eddie Farnsworth scores the fight 30:27
Judge Anthony Taglia scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!