PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Joe Calzaghe (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Calzaghe has chosen The Pride of Wales as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. I can't wait for this one - let's get the fighter introductions out of the way and get this one started!

Fatherfockerusus
vs
Calzaghe

186 cm
24
180 lbs
9 - 1 - 0

182 cm
21
173 lbs
10 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed

☺Narco ۩ Nutrotics☻™

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 1 - 0, fighting out of London, Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 3 - 0, fighting out of London, Joe Calzaghe!
The judges for this bout are Colin Fotheringham, Sam Margolis and Steven Brown.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Calzaghe has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Fatherfockerusus.
Fatherfockerusus lands a nice leg kick that just misses Calzaghe's sensitive parts.
Fatherfockerusus throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Calzaghe throws a right hand that misses
and Fatherfockerusus counters with a stiff right hand.
Calzaghe takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Fatherfockerusus is looking to slow Calzaghe down with leg kicks.
Calzaghe throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Calzaghe misses with a looping left.
Fatherfockerusus cracks Calzaghe with a good jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

Fatherfockerusus gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Fatherfockerusus content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Fatherfockerusus throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Calzaghes head.
Calzaghe wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Fatherfockerusus has him pressed against the cage.
Fatherfockerusus lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Calzaghe tries to work over Fatherfockerusus's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Fatherfockerusus throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Calzaghes head.
Fatherfockerusus pressing his opponent against the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Fatherfockerusus drags the fight down to the ground.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.

Fatherfockerusus escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Calzaghe gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

Fatherfockerusus had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Calzaghe defends it easily.

Fatherfockerusus throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Calzaghe tries to free his leg and advance position but Fatherfockerusus is retaining full guard.

Fatherfockerusus working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Calzaghe doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Calzaghe manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Calzaghe trying to control but Fatherfockerusus is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Calzaghe stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Fatherfockerusus swivels though and keeps the full guard.

Fatherfockerusus is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Calzaghe pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Fatherfockerusus is keeping the position for now.
Calzaghe must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.

Fatherfockerusus looks to be working for a triangle here. Oh, it looks like he might have it! Calzaghe has picked Fatherfockerusus up and slammed him! Fatherfockerusus can't keep hold of the triangle and Calzaghe manages to pass to side control!
Fatherfockerusus being controlled for a moment.
Calzaghe working away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fatherfockerusus gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Calzaghe tries to stand but can't do so whilst Fatherfockerusus controls his leg.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fatherfockerusus is not content to let Calzaghe control the position.
Fatherfockerusus is looking to improve his position.
Fatherfockerusus trying to control from the bottom.

Fatherfockerusus actively working from the bottom here.

Fatherfockerusus has hold of a guillotine but he's not going to be able to crank on it really with only half guard, so it's no trouble for Calzaghe. Oh but Fatherfockerusus has got full guard now! Oh boy! This one could be over very soon! Calzaghe goes limp - he's gone! Fatherfockerusus jumps up and celebrates with the crowd - fantastic submission finish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:01 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Guillotine). Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus!
Baddusousus Fatherfockerusus retains his welterweight title!