PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Art Vandelay (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Buck Norris (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Norris comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Six Feet Under - Lycanthropy kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Well, I have no idea who's going to take this one!

Vandelay
vs
Norris

167 cm
23
183 lbs
8 - 1 - 1

182 cm
30
181 lbs
23 - 9 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Powerful

[WAO]MADE IN GERMANY
-OVERDOSE Factory-

Resistance

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 2 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 1, fighting out of Tokyo, Art Vandelay!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 23 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Buck Norris!
The judges for this bout are Shirou Masuda, Shigeki Fujiwara and Yukihiro Shimada.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Norris moves in looking to clinch but Vandelay pushes him off.
Norris fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Vandelay on the side of the head.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Vandelay.
Vandelay throws a sloppy head kick
and Norris counters with a left to the body.
Vandelay takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Norris takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.

It looks like Buck Norris has been cut.
Norris clobbers Vandelay with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.

It looks like Art Vandelay has been cut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Norris throws a sloppy head kick and Vandelay moves out of range easily.
Norris blocks the body kick.
Norris throws a head kick that misses.
Norris throws a nice inside leg kick.
Norris fails with a takedown attempt from distance.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Vandelay stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Norris.
Norris misses with a low kick.
Norris throws a head kick that misses.
Norris misses with a right hand
and Vandelay counters with a low kick, right behind Norris 's knee.
A good leg kick by Vandelay.
Norris avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Norris throws a lazy right hand but Vandelay sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A jab from Norris finds it's way through Vandelay's defenses.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Norris lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Vandelay has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Vandelay and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Norris tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Nice sprawl there from Vandelay as Norris shoots in.
Norris slips a jab and a cross from Vandelay.
Vandelay throws a body punch but Norris moves out of range.
A big left from Norris misses.
Norris looks to land a left hand but Vandelay moved out of range nicely.
Norris pulls out of a head kick attempt.
A leg kick checked by Norris.
Norris is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.
Norris sizes up Vandelay with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Vandelay checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Norris takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Vandelay goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Norris swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Vandelay misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Vandelay misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Norris pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Norris connects with a single shot there.
Vandelay slips a jab from Norris.
A big right from Norris misses.

Norris is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Vandelay's half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Vandelay is trying to control but can't.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Vandelay wants to get back to full guard.
Norris with the ground and pound but Vandelay uses the opportunity to regain guard.
Vandelay controlling Norris's posture.
Norris loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Norris throws a big right hand that misses.
Vandelay looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Norris tries to free his leg and advance position but Vandelay is retaining full guard.
Norris thows a big elbow that misses.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Norris pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Vandelay is keeping the position for now.
Vandelay has Norris pulled in close to control his posture.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Vandelay has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Art Vandelay.
Vandelay fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Norris manages to avoid it.
Vandelay takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Norris misses with a body shot.
Norris avoids a kick to the body.

Norris forces Vandelay back against the cage and clinches.
Vandelay lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Vandelay has a couple of punches blocked by Norris.
Vandelay doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Vandelay stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Vandelay lands a left hand that snaps the head of Norris backwards.
Vandelay tries to work over Norris's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
A hook to the body from Vandelay.
Norris looks gassed!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
A right handed body shot lands from Norris.
Norris lands with a right to the head.
Vandelay lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Norris or not.
Vandelay prevents a body shot from Norris.
Norris misses with a punch on the inside.
Norris looking for a takedown.
Art Vandelay has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Buck Norris.
Vandelay lands a hook to the side of the head.
Vandelay lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Vandelay tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Vandelay tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Vandelay holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Norris throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Vandelays head.
Vandelay throws a head punch that misses.
Vandelay lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Norris looking for a takedown.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
A right hand to the body from Vandelay.
Norris avoids a wild elbow strike from Vandelay.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Norris.
A nice right hand lands inside from Vandelay.
Vandelay misses with a body punch.
Vandelay tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Norris's elbow.
Norris managing to block the knees to the body from Vandelay.
Norris fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Norris misses with a hook from the clinch.
Norris working aggressively here.
Vandelay doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Norris is looking to control Vandelay's arms but Vandelay gets an underhook and turns him. Now Norris has his back to the cage.
Vandelay working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Norris lands a body punch.
Vandelay crunches a lovely knee into Norris's ribcage.
Vandelay tries to work over Norris's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Vandelay is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Vandelay lands with a short punch from the clinch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Vandelay throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Norriss head.
Vandelay tries to land knees in the clinch but Norris avoids the damage to the body.
Vandelay tries to work over Norris's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Norris makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Norris blocks an elbow strike.
Norris digs a right hand underneath Vandelay's ribcage. Vandelay let out a lung full of air as it connected.
A bit of stalling here from Norris.
Vandelay softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Norris changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Vandelay fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Norris looks to score with a jab to the body but Vandelay is just out of range.
A chopping leg kick lands by Vandelay.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Norris misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Vandelay.
Norris misses with a low kick.
Vandelay swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Vandelay swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Norris.
Norris thows a leg kick but Vandelay checks it
and Vandelay counters with a low kick, right behind Norris 's knee.
Norris changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Norris misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Vandelay.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Norris ducks under a wild hook from Vandelay.
Norris moves out of range of the body kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Art Vandelay will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Vandelay ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Nice defenses there by Norris.
Vandelay throws a jab when Norris was well out of range.
Norris throws a head kick that misses.

Norris has Vandelay up against the cage in a clinch.
Vandelay has had enough of the clinch but Norris keeps him there for the moment.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Norris.
Vandelay lands a hook to the side of the head.
Vandelay misses with a body punch.
Vandelay scores with a shot to the side of Norris's head.
Norris blocks a body shot from Vandelay.
Norris trying to control the position but instead, Vandelay has worked for underhooks and has pushed Norris into the cage.
Norris is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Vandelay pulls him back up using the underhooks.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Norris tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Vandelay's elbow.
Norris lands an uppercut.
Vandelay struggles to land a body shot inside as Norris controls his hands.
Vandelay misses with a body punch.
Vandelay tries a body shot but Norris blocks it.
A short left from Norris.
Norris misses with a hook to the ribs.
Vandelay blocking some punches.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Norris takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
A left hand lands to the body for Vandelay.
Vandelay working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Norris has a couple of punches blocked by Vandelay.
Norris throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Norris blocking some punches.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Norris pushes Vandelay back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.

Vandelay breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Norris misses with a few strikes there.
Norris throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Norris dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Norris is breathing heavily.
Norris lands with a cross.
Norris misses with a jab, cross combination.
Norris throws a hook but Vandelay avoids it easily.
Vandelay misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A slow jab from Norris misses its intended target.
Norris throws a head kick but Vandelay moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Norris lands a head shot.
Norris lands with an uppercut that bounces Vandelay off the cage and back into range.
Vandelay tries a head kick but it misses.
Norris lands a head kick. Vandelay smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Vandelay looks to throw a body kick
and Norris counters with a flying knee. Nice.
Vandelay lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Norris fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Vandelay is out of range.
Norris walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Norris is looking to clinch but Vandelay is avoiding it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Vandelay misses with a wild body shot.
A good leg kick by Norris.
Norris loads up on a big right hand but Vandelay slips the punch.
Vandelay scores with a leg kick.
Norris lands with an overhand left.
Vandelay circles away from the clinch attempt.
Norris is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Vandelay.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Vandelay wants to land a leg kick but Norris is out of range.
Buck Norris seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Vandelay.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Norris looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Vandelay missing with a left hand there. Norris was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Vandelay throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Vandelay swats away the attempt to clinch by Norris.
Norris dodges the punch combination from Vandelay.
Vandelay ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Norris moves away.
Norris tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Vandelay swivels and escapes.
Norris is looking to clinch but Vandelay is avoiding it.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Norris looks to score with a jab to the body but Vandelay is just out of range.
Vandelay misses with a body shot.
Norris is looking to score with low kicks.
Vandelay takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Vandelay looks to land a right hand but Norris moved out of range.
Norris tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Vandelay manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Norris uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
Norris throws a head kick that misses.
Norris throws a leg kick that is checked
and Vandelay counters with a nice body kick.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Norris checks a low kick from Vandelay.
Norris shoots in looking for a takedown. Vandelay tries to sprawl out of it but Norris keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Vandelay manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Art Vandelay has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Buck Norris.
Norris on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Vandelay throws a jab but it's blocked by Norris.
Norris throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Norris misses with a straight right.
Norris takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Vandelay tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Vandelay throws out a powerful jab.
Vandelay keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Norris pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Nice body punch from Vandelay.
Norris blocks a head kick by Vandelay.
Norris misses with a takedown attempt
and Vandelay connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
A thudding body kick lands there by Vandelay!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Vandelay throws a nice inside leg kick.
Art Vandelay is winning the standup battle so far.
Ooooh, nice body kick lands from Vandelay. Norris shrugs it off though.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Vandelay scores with a jab to the head.
Norris takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Vandelay scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Vandelay lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.

Vandelay looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Norris is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Vandelay trying to control but Norris is working from the bottom.
Norris being controlled here, momentarily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Art Vandelay showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Vandelay has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Shirou Masuda scores the fight for Art Vandelay!
Judge Shigeki Fujiwara scores the fight for Art Vandelay!
Judge Yukihiro Shimada scores the fight for Art Vandelay!

Art Vandelay wins by unanimous decision!
Our winner, Art Vandelay, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.